Page 123 of My Favorite Secret
He pulls his school uniform on then leans down and kisses me slowly. “Have fun at ballet, Princess.”
As soon as he leaves, I head for the bathroom, stillsmiling at the memory of what Tyler and I just did between my bedsheets. I open the medicine cabinet in search for a hair tie, losing the smile when I see the pregnancy test staring back at me.
I bought the test yesterday and haven’t built up the courage to take it. Nor have I told Tyler my period is one week late.
My stomach twists with dread, pulling tighter with every passing second.
I can’t be pregnant. I’m on the pill. I’m performingSwan Lakein six weeks, at the start of May, and the stress of rehearsals plus Felix’s absence has affected my cycle.
I’mnotpregnant.
I’m freaking the fuck out that I am.
I have a lot of sex. The pill isn’t one hundred percent effective.
My heart rate is through the roof. The shower is still running. I switch the water off and dial Cindy’s number, almost crying when she answers.
“Have you taken the test yet?” she asks, having been with me yesterday when I bought it.
“No. I’m too scared.”
“Babe, youhaveto take it. Get it over and done with. You could be worrying yourself for nothing.”
“I know. It’s just… I’m so scared.”
“Worst scenario, we get the baby taken care of.”
She’s trying to be supportive, but it’s useless. I’ve grown up in a traditional household with traditional values. While my views on some things have changed over the last few months, this isn’t one of them. I’m in full support of what other women want to do with their bodies, but me, I couldn’t go through with it.
“You know I don’t believe in that,” I say. “Under extreme circumstances, yes. But I don’t think I could ever.”
“Again, we’re jumping ahead of ourselves. Take the test now. I’ll stay on the phone with you.”
“Okay.” My hands shake as I pull the test from the packet and follow the instructions.
“Gosh, I’m a good friend, staying on the phone while you pee.”
We laugh, and I’m thankful for her humor. Once I’ve taken the test, I place it on the sink and start a one-minute timer. I’m pacing the bathroom, listening to Cindy trying to calm me, though it doesn’t work.
The alarm goes off and I race back to the test result, my heart sinking at the plus sign that has appeared.
“Positive,” I whisper.
I drop to the ground, hugging my knees and rocking back and forth, not hearing a word Cindy says in response. All I can think about is how furious my father will be with me, and how I can kiss my ballet career goodbye.
Whose baby is it—Tyler’s or Felix’s? It has to be Tyler’s. I haven’t seen Felix in over six weeks. But then it depends how far along I am in the pregnancy.
Shit. This can’t be happening. If Felix is the father, I can’t even contact him.
“Harper!” Cindy shouts through the speaker, trying to get a response from me. “Listen, everything will be all right. We’ll figure this out. We’ll call in sick to the academy today and make a plan. Meet me at the juice bar in an hour. Can you do that?”
“Yes,” I murmur, somehow finding the strength to pick myself up from the ground. I throw the test in the trash and quickly shower, then rush out the door with a constant stream of tears running down my face.
CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE
HARPER
I don’t return home until eight o’clock in the evening, prolonging the inevitable of facing Tyler. As I wait outside the front door, I take a deep breath to relax. Though, being calm seems an impossible task, given everything that’s happened today.
