Page 125 of My Favorite Secret
“How can you say that?”
“Because I’ll take care of you, no matter what. It’s youand me, always. Never ever question that.” He scoops me into his arms, cradling me as he carries me to his bedroom to collect his belongings.
The thought of him moving out tonight has me crying all over again. “I don’t want you to leave.”
“I know, baby. But this is your father’s home and what he says goes.”
“Take me with you.”
Tyler places me on his bed and kneels in front of me, kissing the scars on my hands. “You need to speak with your father.”
“I’m sorry this happened. I took the pill religiously when Felix was here. But then he left and I was so upset. Finding him was all I could focus on. There must have been a few days where I was too sidetracked to take the pill?—”
“I understand, Harp. You don’t need to explain anything. Please don’t blame yourself. This is just as much my doing.” He pauses, deep in thought for a moment. “Is there any chance Felix is the father?”
“No. How are you so calm about all of this?”
Tyler smiles at me. “You being pregnant is unexpected but it doesn’t change the way I feel about you. You’re not just some girl I’m fooling around with before someone better comes along. I’ve been in love with you my entire life. We’re young but we’ve already started living our life together. This pregnancy doesn’t ruin anything.”
My head sags between my shoulders. “It ruins my ballet career. It ruins my relationship with my father. It will complicate things with Felix.” Although, Felix is already doing a good enough job at destroying our relationship.
“You don’t need to have the baby if you don’t want to?—”
“Cindy said the same thing. But I can’t get rid of thebaby. I don’t want to be pregnant but… this is also my baby.Ourbaby. It’s just… too soon. I never thought I’d have a child out of wedlock. Honestly, I didn’t even know if I wanted children at all. At least not until much older, after the peak of my career.”
As I listen to myself speak, I hear the lunacy in my words. I’m not sure how I envisioned children fitting into my relationship with Tyler and Felix when marriage can only take place between two people. It should have been a discussion we all had, but the logistics of children and marriage never entered my mind because I was too happy in the present with Tyler and Felix.
“Being pregnant is embarrassing,” I continue. “People will talk. I’m not married and I’m so young?—”
“Fuck what other people say. It’s not embarrassing.”
Maybe not for Tyler, but for me it is. I start crying again. My life is a complete mess.
“Marry me, Harper.”
I gasp, wiping my eyes. Tyler’s words are soft and unplanned, but the sincerity in his eyes shows me there’s nothing forced about the proposal.
“I’m going to take care of your every need. I love you and if marriage is something you need to feel secure, then marry me.”
“I… um…”
“You don’t need to answer me right now. If you turn me down, I’ll still love you and be with you always. But the option is here if it’s what you need.”
I swallow hard, whispering, “How does Felix fit into the equation?”
Tyler remains quiet, his eyes pained. I know it’s because the answer is plain and simple: Felixdoesn’tfit into theequation.
But where is Felix right now?
Regardless of whatever drove Felix away, there’s one thing I know to be true about him.
Felix is not reliable.
This has always been one of my insecurities about him.
Tyler is and always has been my safe place. Healwaysshows up for me. I’m never afraid some force outside of my control will take him away from me.
“You, me, and no Felix,” I say, hating the way it sounds. But it’s already a reality. Felix is not here and he hasn’t been for a long time.
