Page 18 of My Favorite Secret
No, not even then. Harper isnotthe kind of girl who would be with two men. She wants a plain, simple, normal man. I’m so fucking whipped for this girl that I’ll give her anything she wants. I’llbeanyone she wants.
Besides, the dynamic between all three of us as kids was fucked up. These scars on our hands are fucked up. Felix and I haven’t spoken about the scars in years, just like howwe never speak about how the three of us used to sleep in the same bed hugging. How Felix was the kingpin of the group, always in charge and how I liked it that way. And never,ever, do we talk about all those times we used to chase Harper through the hedge maze and share her lips.
Sometimes, I see it in his eyes, that we’re both thinking about those awkward memories. As kids, we didn’t know any better. In hindsight, we realize just how inappropriately we acted.
It’s like having an embarrassing drunk kiss with your best friend, then sobering up and both being repulsed that it happened. The only difference is, I’m repulsed because I liked what happened all those years ago. I want more of it now. Being with Felix and Harper was the best time of my life.
I want Harper wedged between the two of us, naked and panting as we push her to an orgasm and own her with our cum.
I scrunch my eyes shut, trying to delete the thoughts from my mind.
Without alerting Harper of my presence, I step into the shadows with Felix, keeping my voice low. “I’m going to ask Harper on a date, but I can’t do that unless I have your approval.”
His jaw tics. I can tell he’s not pleased, even though he remains calm. “Did I miss some vital piece of information? Isn’t she off limits to you till she’s twenty-five?”
“She made up that rule a long time ago. Things seem different between us now. She seems different.”
He scoffs. “She still seems like hard work to me.”
“Then why are you so consumed by her? I know you still have feelings for Harper, even if you won’t admit it. I don’t want to take her away from you, but I’m not going tosit around waiting for the day you finally decide to fix your relationship with her. If you want Harper, fucking do something about it.”
Felix lifts the glass to his lips, smirking behind the rim. “This version of her pisses me off. I want to play with the real Harper.”
“I don’t know what you mean by the real Harper, but I won’t let you mess with her if your only goal is to corrupt her.”
With just one look at my brother, at the cruel curve on his lips as he watches Harper dance, I realize corrupting her is exactly what he plans to do. I groan, swiping a hand through my hair.
“Bro, I love you, but fuck, you piss me off. I want to marry this girl one day. I’ve already asked Dad for Mom’s ring.”
He raises an eyebrow at the news but doesn’t seem overly impacted. If anything, he’s amused. “So romantic, Tyler. You think she’d approve of what you got up to over the summer?”
I know she wouldn’t. It was one out of control summer. But it’s behind me now. “Harper doesn’t need to know every detail about my past.”
“I’d hardly call it the past.” He laughs. “Don’t you think she should know what kind of man she’s saving herself for? I can’t imagine she’s the kind of girl who wants to?—”
“It’s not like I’d try to make her do that shit.”
“Maybe she’d be into it.”
“You can be so fucking annoying sometimes.” I take a sip of his drink and hand it back to him. Whiskey, as I expected.
Felix threw a party at our place at the start of summer. Once people started handing out eclipse, the party got outof control fast. People were having sex everywhere and without a care in the world for privacy. I was one of them, high as fuck and with a girl riding me on the living room couch.
She was the first girl I’ve ever been with. I don’t remember a thing about her, just that I was imagining she was Harper. It was the hardest I’ve ever come, not because I had a connection with the girl or she was skilled, but because having sex in public was the most fucked up thing I’ve ever done.
Felix says eclipse heightens your libido, along with your emotions. I can’t help wondering how much more intense the drug-induced orgasm would have been if the girl was Harper.
I’ll never know, and I’m okay with that. I don’t need drugs. I don’t need to party. I don’t need for us to be a trio with Felix. I just need Harper.
“Relax. I’m fucking with you,” Felix laughs. “Who knows, maybe your sweet little girlfriend is into public sex.”
I remain quiet, not giving him ammunition.
“Seriously, though, big mistake, marrying a girl before you fuck her. Especially with all the fucked-up shit you’re into.”
I roll my eyes. “It was a few crazy nights of letting loose. Nothing more.”
“If you say so.” Felix sips his drink. The two of us slip into a comfortable silence, watching Harper dance beneath a pergola of red roses.
