Page 28 of My Favorite Secret
She could have gone to the bathroom. Perhaps she’s even gone to bed.
I head for Harper’s room, bumping straight into her as soon as I enter the hallway.
“Princess.” I grab Harper’s shoulders to steady her. “You okay?”
She jerks out of my grip and steps back, glaring at me. It’s a look of hers I’ve seen plenty of times, always caused by my brother.
“What did Felix do this time?” I ask.
“He’s throwing a party in the pool house. You told me you would be right back. I went looking for you. It was the biggest mistake. I walked in on the most disgusting display of a threesome.”
“Shit. His parties are pretty fucked up.”
Her eyes narrow on me. A moment ago, I assumed her anger was directed at my brother. Now, I get the feeling I’ve somehow fucked up and am treading in deep water.
“You knew about this?” Harper snaps. “You know how disgusting all of them are?”
I shrug, unsure why my knowledge is such an issue for her. “Yes, I know about the parties. What do you expect I do about them?”
“Howdo you know about them? Have you attended them yourself?”
I don’t understand what any of this is about or why she’s taking her anger out on me.
“Felix is my brother. Harp, I know what shit he gets up to.”
“Don’t call meHarpright now. Answer the question. Have you been to his parties?”
“Yes. I don’t see what the big deal is.”
“Those parties aren’t who you are. Felix is a bad influence on you.”
I slide the letter into my pocket, unsure of what’s happening with Harper right now, but knowing this isn’t the right time to tell her how I feel.
Attempting to de-escalate her anger, I run a handthrough my hair, laughing a little to ease up the tension. “Do you really need me to spell this out for you? I’m a guy. Most guys are into sex. They watch porn. Why is it such a shock to you that I’m no different?”
Her mouth opens and closes. She stutters, dumbfounded. “Because… you’re not like that around me and… I thought I knew who you were.”
“Youdoknow who I am.” I hold Harper’s shoulders, my voice gentle as I look into her eyes.
She pushes my hands away. “I don’t know you. Felix said you’re the life of the party. What does that mean? Please tell me you haven’t been on show for people to watch you have sex.”
Fuck.
“Harper… This is… ridiculous.You’rebeing ridiculous right now.”
“I’ll take that as a yes. I can’t believe you’re not denying any of this.”
The gut-clenching nerves are back. I’ve done some fucked up things. I never wanted Harper to find out about them. They were a few reckless moments I want to leave in the past. They don’t define me.
But how the hell am I supposed to answer Harper, because yes, I’ve had sex in a public setting. The worst part is Felix was present. He wasn’t intently watching me or getting off on it, but there’s no way to explain any of this without looking like a complete sicko to the girl of my dreams who has the most pristine values.
“I’ve had sex, okay,” I say as calmly as my nerves can manage, hoping she can rationalize what I’m about to say. “You have no right to be mad or interrogate me. You’ve made it clear you’re not my girlfriend.”
“I’m mad because I thought I knew who you were. NowI feel like I don’t know anything about you. I’m mad because…”
Something snaps inside Harper as she searches for words. Something beyond anger. There’s a look in her eyes of violence that startles me. She says she doesn’t recognize me. In this moment, I don’t recognize anything about her.
“Who thefuckwas the girl?” she demands. “Was there more than one? I swear, I am going to kill them for touching you. You’remine.”
