Page 41 of My Favorite Secret
“One other thing. I know we haven’t gotten along in recent years. It’s no secret Harper and I weren’t happy about Clara’s decision for you to live here.”
“I can pack my bags and return home?—”
“No. What I was about to say is Clara loved you and wanted you under this roof. She saw the good in you. Since her passing, I’ve seen the good in you too. I wouldn’t feel right asking you to leave. It’s clear that you and Tyler are taking good care of Harper during this time in need. Care that I’m incapable of giving her. You and your brother are welcome to stay here for as long as you like. It’s what Clara would have wanted. It will make my life a lot easier knowing Harper has a good support network around her.”
His words are a shock, but I appreciate them. I don’t remember the last time I received praise from anyone, let alone Thomas. “Thank you.”
We part ways and I head to Harper’s bedroom. I’m dying to see her and hold her in my arms, even if all she does is cry.
Her room is dark when I arrive. She’s not here, which is a surprise, though a good sign. Her body has been under a lot of stress, but she’s well enough to walk about.
Tyler is alone, asleep in the bed. Instead of asking him where Harper is, I let him sleep, knowing he needs rest. I pull out my phone, checking Harper’s location. It tells me she’s here in the apartment somewhere.
I search room by room. The home library. The indoor pool. Once I’ve scoured the whole apartment and can’t find her, I realize I haven’t checked the rooftop garden. Clara always loved to paint up there. Harper will be on the rooftop, for sure, wanting to feel close to her mother.
I enter the elevator, eager to see Harper. I don’t know what to expect from her, but I’ll be whatever she needs me to be for her. God, I sound like Tyler right now. This is what Harper does to me. I’m not even mad.
When I arrive in the garden, I get the fright of my life, seeing Harper walking along the thin ledge of the building. Surely she can’t be thinking about jumping. I have no clue what she’s doing, but it’s dangerous. I’m afraid to announce myself in case she gets a fright, loses balance, and falls.
Remaining silent, I watch her from afar. She’s wearing a fresh change of clothes for the first time in days. The wind picks up, ruffling her white night dress and billowing through her hair. Her skin is pale against the night sky, more so than normal. She’s depleted. My girl looks like a ghost. I need to take care of her, feed her, and somehow bring life back to her eyes.
She comes to a halt, peering over the ledge of the rooftop. Only now do I realize something is in her hand. A pair of ballet shoes. When she holds them up, danglingthem by their ribbons, I recognize the exact pair. Her first ever pointe shoes.
At the age of eleven, she was excited to advance to pointes. When her first set died, she drew on them with black marker, doodling love hearts and writing the names of famous ballets she one day hoped to dance in.Sleeping Beautywas first on the list.
She said she would keep the shoes forever and they would be a reminder of hard work, achievement, and aspirations.
I watch now as she drops them off the side of the building, throwing them away.
“Harper,” I speak her name softly, trying not to startle her. “Come down from the ledge.”
Her eyes whip to me, filled with frustration. Even anger. She climbs down and storms up to me. “Nice of you to check in on me. You been off partying or something? I realize I mean nothing to you. I know sex and kissing means nothing to you either, but what we did in your car meant something to me. I was going to give you my virginity. What was your plan, fuck me just to prove you can conquer a virgin who was waiting for marriage? Regardless of that, we used to be friends. My mother has died and I thought you would have at least cared enough about the past to ask how I am. Fuck you, Felix.”
She speeds by me for the exit.
“Harper, wait.”
“You weren’t there when I woke up.” Her voice cracks, mixed with anger and sadness. She turns back to me and from the way her chin trembles, it’s clear she’s holding in tears. “I wanted you there. But you left. You always leave me. You don’t care. I want you to care about me, Felix.”
“I do care?—”
“You need to leave. Tonight. This isn’t your home.”
She heads inside and I let her go, knowing there’s no talking any logic to her right now. She’s grieving. Perhaps she needs someone to be angry with. I’ll be that person if that’s what she needs. But I’m not leaving.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
HARPER
I’m crying angry tears as soon as I leave the rooftop garden. Dad and Tyler are sitting in the living room, talking. I have vague memories of Dad checking in on me over the last few days. The two of us have a lot to discuss, but I’m too worked up over Felix and head straight for my room.
“Honey, what’s happened?” Dad calls after me.
“It’s Felix. We got into a fight. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself. I’m sorry, I need to be alone right now.” I shut myself in my bedroom and fall onto my bed, screaming into a pillow.
The door opens a moment later. I look up, finding Dad and Tyler at the foot of my bed.
“What happened with Felix?” Dad asks.
