Page 53 of My Favorite Secret
From the redness in my father’s face, it’s clear I’ve embarrassed him by having this conversation in front of company. That wasn’t my intention. He’ll have more to say on my decision later. For now, he’s trying to keep his cool. If I stay in this room any longer, I can tell the situation will escalate.
“I’m not feeling well. May I please be excused?”
“Of course,” Holly answers for my father.
“Do you need company?” Paul asks.
I rise to my feet. “No, thank you.”
“Harper,” Holly calls to me before I’ve walked too far. “Be kind to yourself. Give yourself time to grieve. You don’t need to rush back into dancing any time soon. You’ll find your love for ballet again.”
Doubtful. The only thing I want is for the pain to go away. The only thing that makes the pain go away is the guy standing in the doorway watching me. His hands on me. His lips on mine. Him whispering filthy things into my ear.
His brother.
I force myself to smile at Holly before leaving the living room. Instead of heading in Felix’s direction, I take a different door, knowing he would have heard my decision to quit ballet. I don’t want to answer any questions or to be told that I’ll find my passion again.
I slip through the kitchen, head down the hall, and find myself in the home library. It’s spacious in here, with many nooks to hide in. The absolute last thing I want is for Paul to come searching and find me.
I disappear behind a long bookshelf, where it’s quiet and dark. I wish Tyler were here, holding me. He’d find some way to make me laugh. Maybe I’d reach up and kiss him. I’d let him slide beneath my panties to take the pain away.
No, I definitely wouldn’t. Given our grief, we haven’t spoken aboutusyet, or his letter. I want us to be together, but I’m also scared of changing our relationship, turning it physical, then losing him if we don’t work out. I’m forming a connection with Felix again, but there’s so much uncertainty with him. He isn’t my safe place. That spot in my heart belongs to Tyler.
Closing my eyes, I lean back against a shelf and take a deep breath, trying to calm myself. But I’m too worked up now that Tyler is on my mind. My thighs are tingling. Themuscles in my groin ache. I’m not ready to be with Tyler physically, but I can enjoy him in my imagination. I need to feel something good right now. A distraction.
Alone in the library, I slip a hand beneath my dress and into my panties, letting out a quiet gasp when I rub my clit. Keeping my eyes closed, I imagine it’s Tyler touching me. His lips and his hot breath are on my neck, giving me chills.
I rub a little faster, clenching my lower core. A whimper leaves my lips when I let my mind wonder to thoughts I shouldn’t enjoy. The threesome at the party, with dozens of men watching. Except the threesome is happening between me, Tyler, and Felix.
My muscles quiver and I moan, feeling pleasure build within me. My hand moves faster, bringing me closer to the edge. My hips buck, desperate for release. The feeling between my legs is almost unbearable.
I don’t know why I’m turned on by the thought of something so vulgar. I’ve never had sex. Plain and simple missionary should be what gets me wet, but it’s the thought of being stuffed full with Tyler and Felix at the same time that sets me off.
Just as I’m about to climax, my eyes flutter open and I yelp at the sight of Felix, standing at the far end of the bookshelf I’m hidden behind, with his jaw tight as he watches me.
My heart races with panic when I hear Paul’s voice. “Is she in here?”
The approaching orgasm instantly disappears and I pull my hand from my panties, flustered as I glance through the bookshelf, trying to gauge where Paul is.
Felix darts to me, covering a hand over my mouth while his erection juts into my stomach. “No, Paul,” he calls out casually, pausing to bring my fingers into hismouth, sucking my arousal off them. “Why don’t you try the rooftop?”
Paul’s footsteps recede. The door closes with him. I don’t know how I never heard anyone enter the library. I thought I was being careful. Obviously, I was too consumed with my fantasies.
Once Felix and I are alone, he releases his hand from my mouth and makes a soft tutting sound. “Desperate little thing. Can’t even wait till your guests leave before you’re fingering yourself. What got you so worked up?”
I lower my head, averting my gaze with shame. “I don’t think I should say.”
His laugh is smug. “If it’s Tyler, that’s understandable. He’s a good fuck. I’ve seen firsthand.”
My eyes flare, remembering,hatingthat Tyler has been with other girls.
“You’re cute when you’re territorial.” Felix slides my panties down, dropping the lacy fabric to the ground.
I love the fire in his dark green eyes as he watches me. Whatever he’s about to do, I need it.
Without asking, Felix’s fingers thrust inside me. I gasp at the sharp but pleasurable stretch.
“That’s it. Let me hear how good it feels. My bedsheets are stained with cum from how much I’ve been jerking off over you.”
