Page 65 of My Favorite Secret
How depressing. I wish I could avoid the task all together, but it’s not something I want Dad to deal with alone. “Sure.”
“How was your day with Cindy?”
“It was fine.”
Our time together wasn’t eventful. I helped Cindy with the tedious task of sewing new pointe shoes and mending tutus. It was nice being with a friend, even though ballet was a heavy topic of discussion. At least the conversationwas a distraction from Mom. It was even a distraction from Felix and Tyler until Cindy started describing how she slept with one of the guys at ballet.
From that point on, I had constant flashbacks of sitting naked in Felix’s lap with Tyler’s mouth between my legs.
I wanted to tell Cindy about the experience but was afraid of her response. What I did with Felix and Tyler isn’t in line with the girl Cindy knows me as. I haven’t told her about all the previous things I’ve done with Felix.
She’s eighteen and is just starting to explore sex herself. From the sound of it, she doesn’t appear to be into anything wild. The guy she slept with was a virgin. It was missionary and they didn’t take their clothes off. He came within a few pumps. She later had to get herself off. Regardless, she seemed excited by the sex.
Cindy might not say it to my face, but she’d judge me for what I let Tyler and Felix do to me. Anyone would. I’m judging myself. I’ve barely spoken to the brothers since it happened two days ago because I know if I let myself be alone with them, we’ll end up doing it again.
I want to do it againsobadly. My panties have been constantly wet. My clit is throbbing right now while I talk to my father. This is fucked up.
“I’m glad to see you’ve begun socializing,” Dad says. “Did being around Cindy give you any thoughts about returning to ballet?”
“No. I told you, I’m not dancing again. Nothing will change my mind.”
He nods, disappointed but not pushing the topic. “Have you thought about hanging out with Paul?”
I have to work hard to stop myself from groaning. “No. I don’t really like him. He’s clingy.”
“Paul means well. He speaks fondly of you.”
“We don’t know each other. Why are you so set on the idea of us becoming friends? Sometimes you and Mom joked about me marrying him.”
Dad places a hand over mine, giving me a gentle pat. “Perhaps I shouldn’t tell you this, but his parents expressed to me that Paul doesn’t have many friends. They’re concerned about him, as all parents would be. I mentioned you to my boss, hoping to help him out with his kid. You’re such a lovely young girl, Harper. You’re kind to everyone. There’s an upcoming promotion that I’ve been working hard to secure for a long time. The position will be going to someone Samuel trusts. Honey, it would mean so much to me if you got to know Paul better.”
I sigh, feeling bad for Paul. My dad too. Along with my own grief over losing Mom, my heart has been broken for Dad becoming a widower. A promotion at work could be just what he needs right now. If I can help make it happen by hanging out with Paul a few times, I suppose it’s not such a big deal.
“Okay. I’ll make an effort to see Paul.”
“Thank you, sweetheart.”
“But I’m not dating him.”
He smiles. “You might change your mind once you get to know him. He’s a great person.”
A deep and amused voice trickles into the kitchen behind me, clenching my stomach into a knot. “Who are we talking about?” Felix asks. “Harper’s going to start dating a boy?”
I spin around on my stool, finding both him and Tyler standing in the kitchen doorway, Tyler not so amused. He’s glaring at me over this Paul situation.
“We’re talking about Paul Ferguson,” Dad says.
Felix watches me. One corner of his lips slants up, secretly taunting me. “Oh, yes, Paul. Lovely boy. You’re into him?”
“You know I’m not.”
Dad folds his newspaper and stands from the stool. “I think they’d be perfect together.”
“So do I,” Felix agrees. “Bro, what do you think?”
“I think Harper is too much of a princess for Paul to handle.”
I suck in a sharp breath as soon as the wordprincessleaves Tyler’s mouth. He doesn’t speak the label with affection as he always does. It’s like we’re back in that office at my mother’s private art showing and the wordprincesshas taken on a whole new meaning. I can see it in the heat of Tyler’s eyes, he’s calling me a slut.Hisslut.
