Page 1 of Nerdelicious
Chapter One
“I was born to be a ninja.”
–Overheard at Comic-Con
I squint in the low light, the hazy outline of the man in front of me coming into focus.
This is it. I’m going to kiss someone other than Jack.
And his name is Dave.
Dan.
Dwayne? I can’t remember.
He’s good looking. I think. I can’t tell anymore. Maybe it’s because I chugged that last drink, but he vaguely resembles Tom Holland, if Tom Holland were thicker, softer, and looked nothing like... Tom Holland.
We face each other in the darkened strip of space between a fence and the side of a house. Thirty feet away, music thumps and laughter echoes from the backyard, the soundtrack to this poorly constructed seduction. The only illumination comes from a solitary window behind me, casting a yellow square at my feet.
I stare at Dave/Dan/Dwayne as he leans closer, random thoughts pinging back and forth in my mind like a drunk pinball machine.
Do cows dream?
Remember to breathe. This is happening.
His lips are warm.
This is nice. Isn’t it?
If they do dream, do they do it all standing up?
Jack was a decent kisser. I think.
Maybe this isn’t so nice. He smells a little weird, like beer and cologne and sweat, but I can’t really pass judgment. I’ve been drinking and running around and probably smell a little whacked myself.
His mouth opens and it’s...oh, no.
This is not good. Too much saliva. It’s like a wet snake sliding between my lips. His tongue jackknifes into my mouth, and I can’t take it anymore.
I yank away. “Hold up there, Casanova.” I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.Ick.
He reaches for me with sweaty man-paws, grabbing me by the waist and pulling me against him. “Don’t be shy. I’m hurting so bad for you.”
He’s hard. I know it’s supposed to be sexy, his arousal pressed against me and all that, but it’s not. It’s just weird. Not right. Off. Bad. Peculiar. Discombobulating. Catawampus. Pick an adjective.
My arms are folded between our bodies and I use them to press away, but his grip tightens.
“I’m not shy.” You can call me a lot of things, introvert, weirdo, geek, a total fandom-obsessed nerd, but I’m definitely not shy. What I am is pissed off because he still won’t let me go. “I don’t like being stabbed in the face hole like you have a problem with mouths and you want to murder them with your tongue.”
His whole body goes rigid. Hmmm. This may have been a bad choice for my first make-out session post-Jack.
“You’re going to criticizeme?” He pulls away. The better to spew his insults in my face. “At least I’m not a girl named Fred.”
“I’m not a girl, I’m twenty-two and a woman, fuck you very much. I just wanted to make out with someone and now you’re ruining it with puerile insults.”
He stills for a few long seconds, a wall of tension, and then his shoulders relax. An arm slides around my waist. “I’m sorry, baby, I just want to please you.” He leans closer, kissing my ear. His mouth is...moist.
What? Baby?This guy is giving me whiplash but I’m almost too buzzed to care.
