Page 15 of Nerdelicious
Do I?I try to get a handle on the reaction fluttering through my belly.
I care that the person I thought was going to be my life partner decided that I wasn’t worth any effort. I care that I’m on a long train to nowhere, twenty-two years old and still clueless about what I want to do with my life. I thought I was on the fast track when I graduated from college early, but here I am, crashed to a halt.
Is there such a thing as a quarter-life crisis?
But do I care that he’s moved on? Not so much. I don’t want him back. I wouldn’t want him even if he begged and pleaded, as satisfying as that might be in theory.
“We’re over. We’ve been over for months. I have no reason to care.”
“Have you met anyone new?”
“I don’t need a boyfriend.” I stand and walk to the window, pulling back the flimsy curtain. Granny and Grace are standing at one corner of the yard and Granny is showing her how to load a shotgun. “Aren’t you supposed to tell me to stand on my own without a man and be strong and all that?”
“Well, yeah. I’m not saying you should jump into something serious, but there are surprising psychological benefits to having a rebound relationship. It will help reaffirm that you don’t need to be dependent on Jack for meeting your emotional needs. Not that he ever met those anyway.”
“Mom, are you telling me to sleep around?”
“No, of course not. But I’m also not telling you not to.”
Yep. Tried that. Mission failure. Don’t need to relive the other night all over again.
Despite my best intentions, a memory flashes through my mind. Not Slobber Man. Beast. Specifically, trying to kiss Beast. My whole body goes hot with embarrassment.
But then the poem... Maybe he didn’t mind too much?
Beast isn’t my type. Not at all. He’s too big, too silent, too intimidating, too... everything. But he’s also kind. And protective of the people he loves. Maybe overly protective, but it’s actually pretty endearing.
This one time, we were all having milkshakes on the patio at the Frostee Freeze on Main Street and a car backfired. Beast threw himself over Grace. The move was immediate and instinctive. A reflex born of necessity and past experience.
There’s a bang from outside as the shotgun jumps in Grace’s small hands, her entire tiny body listing backward with the force of her shot. Granny grins big. I cough into the phone to try and cover the sound.
Time for a subject change. “I’m starting my job next week.”
“Oh, right. The restaurant, Bodean’s?”
“Yep.” Okay, so it’s not really a restaurant, it’s more of a dive bar with a side of food, but that’s on the list of things I don’t tell my parents. I mean, I’m in the middle of nowhere, which is nice for an escape but not so nice for finding a job. Bodean’s was the only option.
“Well, that sounds nice. I know how much you love cooking.”
She stops and doesn’t say what I know she’s thinking: I should be doing something more with my life.
We’ve already had this conversation. The last time was when I took my third part-time restaurant job to help support Jack while he was getting his master’s and starting his career.
I never thought about what I actually wanted to do with my life because I was too busy helping Jack with his.
“I have a plan. I’ve mapped it out. If I work for eight weeks and save all my wages—not even including tips—I could have enough with my other mediocre savings to live somewhere for about a month in New York. That way, even if I don’t have a job by the time I get back, I’ll have a little buffer.”
“You can stay with us as long as you need to, Fred.”
More shotgun blasts ricochet outside, along with some whooping and hollering.
“What’s that noise?”
“Uh, it’s just my roommates.” Outside, Granny is wearing her new bright red overalls, grey hair hanging in two long braids down her back. Grace is laughing with the shotgun pointed toward the ground. They start jumping around and cackling like two weird witches.
“What are they doing?” Mom asks.
“Target practice.”
