Page 35 of Nerdelicious
“I get it, I’m just surprised because you’re so—”
He continues typing.It’s not like I’ve had opportunities. Not until we moved here.
We stare at each other for a second and then he types again and my eyes fly to his fingers—the large digits flowing across the small phone.
Women will look at me but once they figure out I can’t speak, they move on. It’s too hard, and I’m not worth the effort.
No wonder he was so empathetic about my own feelings of worthlessness. He knows what it’s like.
“Beast, you’re worth every effort. If women can’t see that, it’s their loss.”
He shakes his head. If I kiss Caroline, I’ll be terrible at it and she’ll tell everyone and I’ll never date again.
“I get being nervous about it. But if she likes you, and it’s pretty obvious she does, she won’t care. It won’t matter.” And actually it’s kinda hot, him being all huge and handsome and untouched. Does that make me a pervert?
Is that how it was with you and Jack?
“Yes.” I shrug. “Sort of. We were both young. So there were a lot of mutual nerves happening. But then we got comfortable and... well, it was never that great, actually. But Jack and I are not you and... Caroline. Or anyone else. We were not good together. Jack wasn’t good in general. With Jack, sex was about him getting off and not much else.”
I should have seen the signs.
It seems like Jack was kind of a dick.
I nod. “Kind ofbeing an understatement.”
He frowns down at his phone, no longer typing. I scan out the window, giving him a little space to collect his thoughts.
He taps my arm and I turn back to him.
He’s holding up his phone in my direction.
We could kiss.
Chapter Ten
A kiss isa message too intimate for the ear,
infinity captured in the bee’s brief visit to a flower,
secular communication with an aftertaste of heaven,
the pulse rising from the heart to utter its name on a lover’s lip: “Forever.”
–Cyrano de Bergerac
“You want to kiss me?” I ask, incredulous.
His eyes are wide and shocked like he didn’t mean to type the words.
Fingers flow over the phone screen.Never mind. Forget I mentioned it.
“No.” I put a hand on his forearm. “I’m glad you did. I’m flattered.”
I’m more than flattered. I want to kiss him, too, even though I shouldn’t. Shouldn’t kiss him and shouldn’t want to. I’m not staying here. He considers me a friend and nothing more. Otherwise, why would he ever have asked me to help him with Caroline?
His jaw flexes and oh dear I’ve done it again.
The only thing that would make this worse is if I keep talking. So of course, that’s exactly what I do. “No. I mean, you’re right. We could kiss. That way, you can be comfortable when she gets back and wants to,” I gesticulate wildly with one hand, “you know, fool around or whatever. I swear, I can do it better than the last time when I sort of made out with your chin.” I end on a grimace. Definitely taking sales off the list of things I could do with my life. I can’t even sell myself.
