Page 58 of Nerdelicious
“Because of Jack, I put aside all of my aspirations or thoughts of doing anything for myself. No.” I shake my head. “That’s not right, because ofmyself, I made the awful decision to put Jack first. The problem was he was putting Jack first, too. I put everything into our relationship. If I had made myself a priority, or recognized my own value and had the strength to stand up for myself, I wouldn’t be here.”
He jabs his phone with hard fingers.Jack was an idiot.
“Agreed.”
Even a friend wouldn’t ask you to give things up for them.
“You’re probably right. But it was my fault, too. Don’t make my mistakes. Beast, I care about you and I want you to put you first.”
It’s not that easy.
He’s typing again, so I’m watching over his shoulder when his phone lights up with an incoming text.
I can’t wait to see you!!! Where are you taking me on our first date? You should pick somewhere we get to dress up!! Or maybe go dancing!!!
Followed by heart eye emoji and a woman dancing in a red dress emoji.
The words are as welcome as a screw twisting in my stomach.
In the dim light, his jaw is hard and unsmiling. What is he thinking? He’s not the type to go for a fancy dinner and dancing. I don’t know how I know that, but I just do. Having to talk to people, order food, drive Caroline somewhere while she bears the brunt of holding up their conversation and all that considering they barely know each other...
But I can’t tell what’s going through his mind. He stares at the phone. Then he switches over to the notepad app.Maybe I should break it off.
My response is automatic, even though it kills me to say it, the words like spitting shards of glass. “No. Don’t do that. We’ll figure something else out that’s not so... complicated. Something she’ll enjoy that you’re comfortable with, too.”
He pauses for a long moment, head tilted back, staring up at the sky. He’s a statue of tension for a full minute before he takes a breath and types again.
You think she’ll be open to an alternate suggestion?
“Probably. She clearly likes you a lot.” I can’t believe I’m defending her. The last thing I want is to see her hanging all over Beast at work, but that isn’t fair. We may be diametrically opposed foes, but Beast’s happiness is more important to me than my own vicious jealousy.
There are other issues.
“What do you mean?”
I’ve noticed she can be... rude. Not to me, but to others.
“You mean at Bodean’s.”
He nods.
“Yeah, I’ve served her before. But she was with her friends and probably distracted. Besides, I’m a Yank and sometimes the Southern hospitality is so overdone it all feels condescending. I’m used to New Yorkers yelling at me on the street for getting into the taxi they wanted. Not all that ‘bless your heart’ when it really means you’re an ass.”
His lips twitch, but he’s distracted, his gaze glued to the phone. He flips back over to the text conversation and stares at it, fingers unmoving.
“Tell her you’ll plan a surprise. Then you can get all dressed up and make her a fancy meal yourself with your mad cooking skills. You can plan for it somewhere romantic, but you won’t have to try and communicate with other people and make it complicated. It’ll be great.” I force enthusiasm into my tone, but the words are strained.
He follows my direction and is rewarded with even more exclamation points and emojis.
Yep. It will be super-duper great.
I’ve got a front row seat to Beast’s love life, a demise of my own making. Every text, every piece of advice, every question on how to be with her, they’re all like the sharpest of filleting knives, slicing a little further.
Thank you for helping me.
Slice.
Chapter Sixteen
