Page 106 of Free Heart
“She is,” I agree.
“Doyoulike her?”
“Me? I love her,” I say. “She’s been like a mother to Dan. He’s needed that kind of woman in his life.”
Dad is silent for a moment, but then offers, “I like the way she talks.”
I glance at him. He sounds shy. I grip the steering wheel reflexively and then soften my hold. “If you want to know her better, I won’t mind.”
Dad glances my way. “I loved your mama.”
“I know, Dad. But it’s okay if you’re ready to care for someone else.” I feel like I deserve a gold star for being so adult and generous, but I know no one’s going to give it to me.
Dad’s embarrassed smile and nod is the best I’m going to get.
It’s enough.
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
Dan
The night ofthe talent show, Yosemite’s little theater is decked out with holiday décor and reeking of buttery popcorn. The concession stand is open but not selling anything stronger than a Sprite. The place has that stale smell too, like maybe twenty-five people have vomited on the red carpet at one time or another over the past ten years, and the tinge of it just lingers.
I ignore it and go to sit with Buck, Peggy Jo, and Rye in the second to last row of the theater, right behind Pete, Gage, Celli, and more of Sejin’s fellow employees at Papa Bear. Sailor is here too, somewhere. She’s filming content for our channels, both backstage and up front. I told her she didn’t have to—since it’s really for my channel more than hers—but she insisted. It’s going to be a pain in the ass to get permission from all the parents to show their kids, though. I guess we could blur out the kids’ faces. That’ll be on Sailor, though, and she probably won’t mind. I think she doesn’t know what to do with herself if she’s not busy.
Rye’s in a bad mood. I noticed when he arrived. He’s trying to fake it, probably for Jeanie’s sake and for Sejin’s too. But I can see the truth by the way he keeps fidgeting in his seat and occasionally his eyes fill with tears. He’s really upset.
I’d say it’s his asshole ex’s presence tonight, sitting up in the front row with both his parentsandRye’s. Andrew didn’t even speak to Rye when he came in, pretending not to see him, and neither did Rye’s own parents. But I haven’t seen Rye in tearsover anything related to his parents or Andrew since back when he first transitioned and then lost custody of Jeanie.
Which makes me think this has to do with Lowell. Who, notably, isn’t even here tonight. Not a good sign.
I’m the first to admit I’m often clueless about other people’s relationships and what makes them work. Like I don’t really understand Peggy Jo’s attraction to Buck. He’s a thickly built, grizzled-looking man who doesn’t talk a whole lot. But I guess her husband was also portly. Ivan was built like a fireplug and wore a beard, and from what I’ve heard, wasn’t much of a conversationalist. So, I suppose there’s history of that kind of man being her type.
But IknowRye and Lowell are good together. I see it. I get it.
I also know Rye’s not going to tell me what’s wrong even if I do try to push him to cough up some details. He didn’t even tell me when they’d started hooking up, after all, so he’s not going to volunteer why it’s ended either.
If itdidend.
I think it did, though, based on the sheer misery that flashes over Rye’s face every few minutes.
At least he’ll be my climbing partner exclusively this spring. I won’t have to share him with Lowell after all, and we can go back to having entirely different friendships the way we did before. Friend groups are probably overrated and messy anyway. Too much drama.
Still, when his eyes fill again, I can’t resist wanting to help. “Where’s Lowell?” I ask quietly, when Peggy Jo and Buck start whispering between them and sharing their popcorn.
“I’m not his keeper. How the hell would I know?”
I frown. “You’re his boyfriend.”
“No, I’m not.”
I sit silently for a moment, trying to imagine what Sejin would say right now and coming up completely short. So, I gowith what I’d say. Authenticity is best, as Sailor insists. “I’m sorry.”
Rye looks at me like I’ve grown two heads. “What?”
“I’m sorry.” I lift my hands and let them fall into my lap. “I know you liked him, and he liked you. It sucks that it’s over. So, yeah. I’m sorry.”
Rye swallows hard, those tears swimming to his eyes again, and then fading away. “It’s just not going to work out.”
