Page 141 of Free Heart
“Gorgeous,” I say from where I’m seated on one of the blankets spread out on the granite. I’m warm enough, but I’m wearing a gray tuxedo that Sailor insisted on renting for me as part of her wedding gift. The bowtie and cummerbund are pink and purple plaid.
On the blanket across from us, applying a dusting of makeup to Peggy Jo, is my cousin Nevaeh in a purple mini-dress. I’d called her and asked if she’d be willing to come out for the wedding and stand up with me. She’d eagerly agreed, happy not only for me, but also to get a vacation out west. Over the phone, she’d asked if there were any stipulations for the role, and I’d asked that she wear purple. Any kind of purple. I don’t care if people match, so long as things are cohesive enough that the photos look decent.
Rye is sitting near me too, though he’s going to be standing up with Dan, along with Peggy Jo. He’s wearing a purple and pink Hawaiian shirt and a pair of loose-fitting white linen pants. Over by the edge of the rock, Lowell, dressed similarly to Rye, waits with my father, peering down at the cliffside Dan is at the base of right about now. My dad’s Hawaiian shirt is also pinkand purple, but it has Mickey Mouse ears throughout the design. He and Peggy Jo had flown into Los Angeles to go to Disneyland before driving to Yosemite for the wedding.
Peggy Jo is wearing a matching dress in the same pattern as my father’s shirt, and I don’t know what Dan’s wearing yet. He wouldn’t let me see what he’d picked out. “You can’t see the bride’s outfit before the wedding,” he’d stated, offended that I’d even ask.
“You’rethe bride?” I’d pretended offense, too. “What ifIwant to be the bride?”
“I’m the one who’ll be walking down the aisle, so I’m the bride—the DanMcBride, if you will,” he’d insisted. “The groom waits. The bride walks. So, the groom is obviously you.”
Glancing at my phone for a confirmation of the time, I ask, “Do you think the bride’s almost ready? I don’t want to start late.”
“Baby, it’s just us here,” Peggy Jo says. She looks pretty with a touch of makeup.
Rye adds, “I don’t think Lowell is going to refuse to perform the ceremony if we’re running a little behind schedule.”
He glances toward Lowell with that hungry, hurt expression that makes me ache for him.
I’ve learned a little more about their situation in recent months, and the role the renewed custody battle for Jeanie played in their breakup. I agree with them both. I’m not sure they can ever work it out, not for another fourteen or fifteen years, and by then… It’ll probably be too late.
“The ceremony can start anytime,” Peggy Jo says. “You’ve got the permit for the whole afternoon.”
I nod, but my heart is pumping like mad, and I feel a little shaky inside. It’s not that I have doubts about what we’re doing, because I absolutely don’t, but I do feel very emotional and nervous. I’m pretty sure I’m going to cry at some point—for alot of reasons, but mainly because I can’t believe I’m getting married, and my mama isn’t here to see it.
Who is here, though? So many people I love.That’swhat I need to focus on.
In the ceremony itself, we have Lowell, Rye, Peggy Jo, Nevaeh, my dad, and Leenie. Martin volunteered to wrangle the kids so he could get out of being “on stage.”
“I love that you asked, cousin, but I hate standing in front of people. You know that. I almost passed out at my own wedding from stage fright. I’ll take care of the kids, and Leenie can shine. She’ll like that.”
Which brings me to the guests—Martin and the kids, playing near the path to the hike out. Pete, Celli, and Gage from Papa Bear. Heather and Evelyn from Tater Tots. Amalia and Jory. And, of course, Sailor—wearing a camera and a beige and pink confection she calls a romper and I call a fluffy onesie.
I’d considered inviting my students and their families, but the idea of having to deal with so many little ones in the midst of our ceremony was too overwhelming. Instead, the kids threw me a little “wedding shower” at the school, consisting of singing a few love songs Evelyn had taught them and giving me some handmade cards.
None of them terrifying, though Jeanie’s was a bit angry, since her dad wouldn’t let her come with Rye to the wedding. The card had shown a tall, skinny man with brown hair shaking a finger at a little red-headed girl, while Dan and I stood holding hands in a field of flowers. I’m not sure what I make of it, but it didn’t join her card of Dan on the cliff on our fridge.
The gathering today is small, but our friends have all worked together to make everything look nice. Amalia, Jory, and some of their friends had hauled all the decorations and necessary items up this morning as a gift to us. So now, with the purple blankets spread out all over, adorned by pink bouquets—roses, azaleas,and baby’s breath—and picnic baskets festooned with purple ribbon, everything is just perfect. The top of Pothole Dome has never looked so pretty.
Lowell breaks away from my father and strides toward me. “Ready?”
“Dan’s set?”
“He is.”
“Okay.” I shake my hands out and take a slow breath. “Me too.”
I follow my dad and Lowell over to the far end of the Dome, opposite from where Dan will make his appearance. I’m glad Peggy Jo thought to provide a big white tarp for us to stand under for the ceremony or I’d have started to sweat under the sun. But the weather is otherwise perfect. A light breeze. A blue sky dotted with puffy clouds. A meadow alive with flowers below.
Dreamlike.
Rye walks to stand on the other side of the tarp from me. I notice he doesn’t look at Lowell, who returns the favor of keeping his eyes trained toward where Dan will emerge in a few minutes.
My father stands beside me, and Leenie next to him, and then Nevaeh. Peggy Jo takes her place between Lowell and Rye, and we all wait for Martin to lead Jeremiah over to the edge of the cliff so Jeremiah can shout over the side, “We’re ready, Dan!”
Then he races away from his dad and back to the blanket he’s supposed to watch from. There he presses play on the phone that’s hooked up by Bluetooth to big speakers on either side of the tarp.
The wind snaps the tarp twice, and the song begins. My throat tightens immediately at the familiar opening. Dan had insisted he alone choose the music he walked in to, saying he wanted it to be a surprise. The song isn’t what I’d expected.I’d assumed it would beoursong from our first night here on Pothole Dome, but it’s not. It’s “Euphoria” by Jungkook of BTS, a heart-soaring track about love and joy and taking the hands of the person who brings you life.
