Page 142 of Free Heart
My eyes fill.
The song continues, and Dan doesn’t appear. Not for the first verse, and not for the first chorus. I’m not worried, though. Even he can’t climb that fast if he started at the base. Finally, by the next pre-chorus, I see his hands on the lip, and then his head, and his grin lighting up the world brighter than the sun. He pulls himself up over the edge and stands wearing a black suit with a purple tie. It’s only a little dirty, having brushed against the cliff in his ascent. I bite back a little sob, rubbing my fist over my mouth.
During the next chorus, he abandons his gear by the cliffside, and he stops to take a bouquet of pink roses from Celli as he passes by the Papa Bear picnic spread. Another verse rises in the air, and Dan saunters slowly down the aisle, his eyes on me. When the bridge hits, I laugh as Dan’s slow step turns into a giddy little dance, and again as he performs some silly twirls, stalling his approach. I understand why when he hands off his bouquet to a crying Peggy Jo and takes my hands just as the song ends. He’s timed it perfectly.
Grabbing him in a hug, unable to hold back a moment longer, I try to rein in my rushing emotions. Dan wraps his arms around me too, and I cling to him as our guests break into applause.
*
Dan
Sejin’s already cryingby the time I reach him, and all my silliness on the way down only seems to have made him more emotional.He grabs me as soon as I take his hands and holds me tight.
I breathe in his scent, his familiar shampoo and a touch of unfamiliar aftershave, probably his dad’s. I kiss his cheek. “Come on, Doc,” I whisper just for him. “Let’s get married.”
He squeezes me again, but moves back enough to take my hands and stare into my eyes with his wet ones. I grin at him. “You like my song choice?”
“Don’t talk about it anymore, or I’ll start crying again.”
I laugh. “I have a feeling the vows are going to do you in.”
Sejin squeezes my hands, and we both turn to Lowell, who’s standing there somehow looking imposing even in his Hawaiian shirt and linen pants. He clears his throat and murmurs, “Shall we proceed?”
“Get on with it,” I urge.
Sejin huffs a teary laugh. “Yes, let’s proceed.”
Lowell turns to the prepared words he’s been wrestling with over the last week. I should probably listen to what he’s saying, especially since he put so much thought into it, but I don’t. Sejin’s face ashelistens is much more fascinating. The tremble of his lips, the small nods of his head, and the way his eyes keep finding mine and filling with tears again. Those beautiful upside-down moons of joy. I feel like my heart’s going to lift out of my chest. I love him so much. I’m so grateful he’s mine.
I glance at Peggy Jo. She’s got Buck’s handkerchief pressed to her mouth, tears leaking down her cheeks. I clear my throat, which has gone suddenly tight witnessing her emotion.
“I understand you’ve written your own vows?” Lowell asks, knowing damn well we have.
“We have,” Sejin agrees.
“Face each other.”
I obey, and Sejin looks at me expectantly. “Go first, Doc,” I prompt. “We’ll save the best for last.”
He scoffs, and then laughs again as he takes my left hand and slips the wooden band set with his mother’s diamond onto my ring finger. He’d asked Helki to make it to match his own, and he’d done a great job.
“Daniel McBride…” He pauses, and then whispers, “Dan…” And then even more tenderly, “Danny, I take you as my husband from this day forward, to have and to hold in sickness and health,of course, and to love and support you in all of your impossible and terrifying dreams. I vow to live as fully together as if every day could be our last. I promise to be faithful to you, to cherish you, and to always believe in you, even when I’m scared. I love you now and forever. Thank you for coming into my life. I’m your seahorse.”
It’s my turn. I place his ring on his finger, back where it belongs, and I begin. “Sejin Moon Sutley, I take you as my husband from this day forward, to have and to hold in sickness and health too,obviously. But I also promise that you’ll never be a rug, or upholstery, or a bathroom curtain.”
Sailor laughs from behind us where I assume she’s filming everything. A confused murmur rises from everyone else, but that’s okay. Sejin presses his lips together to hold back laughter and shakes his head in amusement.
“I promise that you’ll always be the reason for all my euphoria. Elation, joy, all of the best feelings will never come from accomplishing any cliff or route or challenge, but only because afterward I get to come home to you. I promise to live out the little things with you and really feel them. I promise to always support your dreams, whether you like it or not. In fact, I have a wedding gift for you that’s going to probably piss you off. But you’ll love it in the end. Probably.”
Sejin’s face goes through a myriad of reactions, but then he laughs and smiles again.
“I love you. You’re my euphoria, my universe, and my very best friend. I promise toalwaysput you first—and that means all the time, not just when I’m climbing. But let’s talk about climbing—”
The attendees shift a little, and tension builds in the air.
“Let’s talk about free soloing especially. I promised when you agreed to marry me, and I promise again right now—I’ll promise again before every climb if I need to remind you—I’ll always consider you first before every choice I make during a climb. You’re going to be so mad that I’m saying this, but I mean it. If the worst happens, I promise I’ll also consider you last. Sejin, you’ll be the final thought in my mind whenever my time comes—which will hopefully be a long time from now!” I rush to add on, because Sejin’s eyes are getting moist again, but I’m not sure it’s in a good way. “Because we’re getting married to grow old together, right? Right. And, also, I love you. I said that already, I know, but I’ll say it every day. You’re the song I never want to stop listening to, the dream I never want to end, and the seahorse to my angelfish. The end.”
Sejin squeezes my hands and mouths, “I love you too,” as another tear slips down his face.
