Page 50 of Free Heart
“I like it long too, but if this is easier for you…”
“I hate it,” Sejin says, his eyes filling with tears. “I hate it so much, and I’m so sad I cut it and, Dan…” A small, wounded sound escapes. “There’s no way to take it back!”
God, can I ever relate to that. My body aches with a reminder of what I can’t take back.
I encourage him to lie down next to me again—which jostles my leg, but I don’t care. I let him cry on my shoulder.
I love him so much; I didn’t even know what love felt like before I met him. It’s aching and hard and beautiful, and worthy of my focus. It’s like a 5.13 grade climb. Or higher.
And Sejin… He’s such a good man. I hate when he’s unhappy.
I’m going to fix it. No matter what.
I can’t grow his hair back, and I can’t make my leg heal faster, but I can try to earn some money to ease his burden and his mind. Peggy Jo has been right this whole time—eventually money becomes important. I’ve tried to outrun it and the other things that tie me to the ground for years, but it’s no use.
I love Sejin now, and so I’m tethered, no matter how I heal or how high I climb. And when you’re tethered, you need money. So, I’ll earn some.
I just need to figure out how.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Dan
Three weeks since free solo attempt
“Well, look atyou FaceTiming me like you care,” Peggy Jo says by way of hello.
“I need to know how to get sponsors.”
Peggy Jo lifts the baby off her shoulder and passes it over to Bella—at least I assume the pair of womanly hands that grab the infant belong to Peggy Jo’s daughter—before she gives me her full attention again. “I’m sorry, did you just say you want to get sponsors?”
“Yes.”
“For what?”
“For money.”
Peggy Jo guffaws and rolls her eyes. “Dan, listen to me closely. I’m real glad you admit that money is a thing you need and want—finally, praise the baby Jesus for that—but, darlin’, you’ve plumb missed the train on sponsors.”
“What do you mean?”
“Sponsors want to pay you to look great climbing a wall wearing their gear. They want to show you eating their energy bars and then bouldering a 5.10 rock. They don’t want a man with a broken leg who might never climb again.”
“I’ll climb again.”
“I know that, and you know that, but those sponsors I was trying to get you hooked up with don’t. If you’d done it back then, maybe you’d have a recovery story to sell to Ace bandage orsome shit like that, but woe, money was too dirty for your pure soul.”
“You don’t have to bust my balls like this.”
“Oh, you bet your sweet butt I do! I know Sejin’s not busting them! And someone has to.”
“Rye does. Sometimes. A little.”
“That’s not enough.Everyoneshould be busting your balls so you listen better.”
“What do you want me to hear, Peg? That free soloing is a bad idea?”
“If I thought you’d hear that? I’d be happy. But you won’t listen to me on that subject any more than you listened to yourself back on Sejin’s birthday. Remember that? When you were trying to talk yourself out of being in love with him? You were so smitten. Thought you might float up into the sky from looking at him.”
