Page 73 of Free Heart
“Well, short ones.”
“Short, soft women? That’s very specific while not being specific at all.”
“Isn’t that how attraction works?”
“I saw the way you looked at her. She might not be your ‘type,’ but you were attracted to her.”
“At first, but not later.”
“What’s that even mean?”
“It means I don’t want her. I already told you. Even if she weren’t a lesbian.”
“Forget it.” The towels are behind me on the rack, and he’s careful not to knock me as he reaches for one. “I’m being an asshole. You’re allowed to be attracted to people. We both are.”
I don’t love the idea of Sejin being attracted to someone else, actually, but it’s bound to happen at some point. “It’s okay. You’re a jealous person.”
Sejin glares.
“I am too.”
He sighs. “Thanksgiving didn’t go the way I thought it would.”
“No. It went even better,” I say. “I have a real chance now. I could start earning some actual money.” I continue explaining the plan as he towels off.
“She’s really shiny,” he finally says when he’s done brushing out his hair, which takes no time at all now. He tousles it with product, so it’ll dry the way he wants. “All night I kept comparing myself to her and coming up short.”
“You’re definitely taller than her.”
He rolls his eyes. “When she asked me what I was passionate about, I felt so small having nothing.”
“You’re passionate about KPop groups, and children, and being happy.”
Another eye roll. “Wow, what an impressive list of things to be passionate about.”
“You can do KPop choreo!” I press on. “You probably know more Korean than she does. I bet she doesn’t even know whatbogoshipdameans.”
“Yes. I’m so accomplished,” Sejin bites out.
“What’s that got to do with anything?”
“Sailor’s really sure of who she is and what she wants. She’s beautiful. She has long hair.”
“You’re Sejin, adopted from Korea, raised in West Virginia, good with kids. You love KPop, fun, and me. You know what you want. You want to be happy, and you know where you’re going.” I pause for effect. “To bed with me.”
Sejin shakes his head. “What do I see in you?”
“Your future.”
Sejin puts his forearms on my shoulders, careful not to topple me on my crutches, and gazes down into my eyes. “Am I enough for you? You could be with someone just as focused and ambitious as you are, but you pick me?”
I almost laugh. If anyone in this relationship could do better, it’s him. I’ve got a broken leg. I’m saddled with medical debt and have no job. I live in a van. What’s he feeling insecure about? I guess we all get needy sometimes.
Sejin’s mouth twists in embarrassment, but he asks, “What do I give you that someone else can’t?”
I can’t believe he even has to ask. This Sailor woman has really gotten under his skin. I tick things off on my fingers. “Your smile, and how your eyes turn into half-moons. That cool hook at the inner part of your eye. And—”
“Don’t just list my body parts, Dan. I told you the night I met you, I’m not special for how I look.”
