Page 92 of Free Heart
“I figure, whatever else our future life is like, Dan will find a way to make it exciting.”
“Just Dan? Not you?”
“Both of us.” I stand up and pull the mic off. “This interview is over.” I start to give an excuse about needing to head home to check on Dan, but instead I simply say, “I appreciate your promise to not egg him on, but I want you to know I’m not your ex, and I’m way more than scenery to Dan.”
I turn and walk away, sweeping out the way Dan’s doctor always does.
I might not know what exactly I’m going to do with my life, but it sure as hell isn’t going to be sitting around and looking pretty for Dan until I fade into the background. Until he doesn’t even see me anymore.
No. I’m going toshine.
INTERLUDE 5
Lowell
Two Weeks Earlier
“Stop the car.”
Lowell brakes quickly, looking around for danger, heart instantly pounding and a shaky sensation rising more quickly than he can control.Not now.Sweat slips down one temple, but he holds himself together. “What’s the problem?”
There’s no one and nothing around. Just a random street corner in Fresno with a jewelry store across the way and a smoothie place adjacent.
“There,” Dan says. “I need to go there.”
He’s pointing at the jewelry store. Lowell wipes the sweat away, relieved that his body is calming down instead of ramping up into a panic attack. He doesn’t love being startled, but Dan’s utter lack of excitability always helps Lowell stay even-keeled too.
“A jewelry shop?”
Dan starts to unbuckle. “You can drive around a little while I go in. I need to get a ring.”
Lowell puts out a hand to stop Dan from hopping out of the car with his crutch. “Hold up. Is this a ring for Sejin?”
Dan nods once, reaching for the car door again.
“Wait, wait. I’m serious. Is this forthering?”
“I’m going to lock it down, yes.” His eyes betray a hint of doubt. “If he’ll say yes.”
“Okay, well, I approve of that plan. But let’s not go here. This place isn’t going to have what you want.”
“What do I want?”
“Not this stuff,” Lowell says in a low, quiet tone. “Trust me. I know where you can find a ring that will be right for you and Sejin.”
Dan agrees, hooking his seatbelt again. “Alright. Onward.”
Lowell considers asking Dan more about just when he decided to do this and why, but ultimately it makes sense to him. Dan’s not someone to mess around. He’s dating Sejin for keeps, and that’s been obvious from the start. If he’s happy—and he is—then he’s going to want to marry him or otherwise bind them together.
Someone like Dan isn’t going to want to lose the right person.
Lowell sighs. He’d like to think he’s similar, but…
After Nina, after that last horrific year at YOSAR, after that final rescue, he’s not the man he used to be. And that includes being ready to dive into a commitment, especially when he’s not at all sure that’s what Rye’s looking for.
Rye’s only been out and transitioning for a few years. Getting caught in another trap with another damaged man isn’t what Rye deserves or needs. It’s a shame they didn’t meet each other earlier, though, because they’re a good fit. Except for they fact that Rye would have been ridiculously young, making Lowell a cradle robber, and also then Jeanie wouldn’t exist, and she’s too wonderful to be a casualty to even a fantasy of a “would’ve, could’ve, should’ve.”
“Here we go,” Lowell says after some time has passed in silence with them driving up the steep mountain roads. He pulls into the familiar driveway and smiles at the sight of his old friend rocking and whittling on the front porch of his cabin. “Helki will have something for Sejin.”
