Page 98 of Free Heart
“I think he’ll like you.” But he doesn’t sound sure.
“I’ll resign myself to being disliked, and then when it happens, I won’t be upset about it.”
“Let’s hope for the best,” Sejin says. “He’s an understanding man. Never batted an eye about me being gay.”
“Iwon’thope for the best,” I declare. “I’ll hope for the worst. We can only go up from there.”
Sejin snuggles in close. “I can’t believe this is our last night sleeping in here. This house really feels like home.”
“The van will feel like home before you know it.”
“At least Peggy Jo’s going to let us park it here. I don’t think I could have handled going back to the camp showers, and the waterfall is out of the question this time of year.”
“Too cold,” I agree.
“Whenareyou going to go up?” Sejin says a few minutes later as we’re both drowsing quietly. “You know, for the first time since the fall.”
“The doctor said that after the New Year, bar any setbacks, it’s possible I could try a small climb. A big boulder, maybe. Emphasis on possible. Not recommended.”
“I see.”
“Want to go with me?”
“Sure.”
“Really?”
“I’m a seahorse, and I’m finding where my edge is. Yeah, I’ll go with you.”
“Edgy Sejin.”
“Hope you like him.”
“I don’t know. I feel like I could really fall deeply in love with some good drapes.”
Sejin bites my shoulder softly and then curls on his side. He’s asleep before I am, and I lie in the dark, dreaming of the winterysting of the rock beneath my fingers. In my fantasy, Sejin’s there too.
Wearing that smile.
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
Sejin
Out in thegarage-turned-climbing-gym, I shift from foot to foot, feeling awkward and stressed as Dan and I wait for Leenie and Martin to show up with their precious cargo—our parental figures. I fiddle with the ring on my finger by pressing my thumb against it and making it spin.
Sarah Kate jumps and rolls around on the mats, occasionally trying to pull herself up on the lowest holds. She does a good job of it too, lifting herself entirely off the ground with a tiny grunt.
Jeremiah is getting better and more adventurous. He’s pulled himself up to a height that will make Leenie cringe if she sees him, but it really impresses Dan.
“Good work!” he calls out. “You’ve got it. One more…oof. Well, good try. Go again.”
Jeremiah delights in the effort. I can see how overcoming his initial fear of the higher holds, and his success in nearly reaching the top of the bouldering wall, has him feeling giddy. It’s that elation that Sailor has talked about. I can also see the proof of how testing limits—in a safe way—leads to a growth in his confidence. His little chin juts out with pride.
“Good work, Sarah Kate,” Dan offers when she swings herself from side to side on the lower jugs and then makes a sideways leap, actually catching herself for a moment before she tumbles again. She’s grinning too when she pops back up.
“Leenie will have your head on a platter for turning both her kids into daredevils.”
“Her fault for leaving them with me.”
