Page 11 of Free Heart
“Don’t be obtuse! You’re not stupid!”
“Everything okay in here?” Shamika’s voice cuts into the room, and she stands in the doorway, hand on one hip.
“Yeah, it’s fine,” I say.
She glances at Sejin with a surprised eyebrow raised, as if she hadn’t seen this coming from him, and I get that. Sejin is always easy and sunny. Except right now he’s not. That’s my fault, as well. The nurse looks back at me, confirming that I’m fine, before leaving and pointedly shutting the door.
Hey, at least I have a private room. With only MediCal to help pay for all this, I’m surprised by the decadence. But maybe they think they can squeeze the cost out of me later. Hell, they probably can. What do I know about how hospital bills work? I’ve never had to spend the night in one before. When Lowell helped me out after my sprained ankle, it was just a very, very,veryexpensive ER visit that I was eventually able to convince the hospital to mostly write off.
This, though—what with being airlifted off El Cap, tests, surgery, and staying overnight—God only knows what this bill is going to look like.
But all of that can wait.
Sejin—my Sejin—is hurting and I’m being a dick who doesn’t get why he’s so upset. I can just imagine Rye’s disappointed face right now. He’d rip into me. I probably deserve it.
Sejin turns away and paces to the window. He gazes out and I wonder what he sees. There’s only a patch of dark sky from where I’m positioned in the bed. I shift and hiss at the jolt of agony up my leg and into my hip. Settling back, I stare at him outlined in the light from outside.
He’s beautiful. I love him. I know in my soul that I could go the rest of my life being only with him and never be sad about it. And, yeah, ifIhad to wait for hours to know that he was safe, that he was still going to be in my arms, I’d lose my mind. It’d hurt almost as much as this leg does. More. It would be absolute hell.
“I’m sorry, Doc. I never wanted you to worry about me.”
“Is that why you left without telling me where you were going?”
“I don’t remember that, but it sounds like something I’d do.” I shift again and groan.
Sejin wipes at his cheeks with the palms of his hands and then turns to me. “Never mind. None of that matters now. You’re hurting. Look, this button here lets you give yourself another dose of the pain meds.”
I frown. I don’t want to be weak. I can handle it.
As if he can read my mind, Sejin says, “The nurse told me it’s best if you press it when you first think you might need some. It’s better than chasing the pain.”
“I don’t want to get dependent.”
“You won’t. Right now, you need to rest and heal up. This is all going to take a lot of energy.”
Sejin sits beside me again and takes hold of my hand. “It’s a good thing you’re a stubborn asshole, huh? I think you’re gonna need all that determination to get through this and get back up on a wall.”
“I hate resting,” I say.
“I know.”
“I feel like I should already be doing something.”
“You should already be punching that button.”
“Passing out again won’t fix anything. I should be doing something real to get better. Right now.”
“You can’t get better ‘right now’, so…” Sejin indicates the button again. I do press it and within moments I feel warm all over, like a wave of magic contentment is released in my veins.
“I want to make this up to you,” I say, as I start to drift a little. “I want to prove to you that I’m a safe bet.”
“Oh, Danny, you’ve never been a safe bet. I’ve always known that.” Sejin leans forward to kiss my forehead.
“Fine, then I want to prove to myself that I can have both youandclimbing.”
“You’ve got me. Now rest.”
I should be satisfied with that, but I’m not quite. I can’t put my finger on what I want from him or from myself right now. Probably because I’m drugged and in pain. I run my tongue over my jagged teeth. “Dental work is expensive,” I say, noting the slight lisp and realizing that it’s probably from the chipped teeth as much as from the swelling. I’m surprised they don’t hurt.
