Page 16 of Free Heart
And I’ve sent Peggy Jo several texts declaring her the best non-mom a guy could ever have and saying that even though her grandbaby looks like a tiny bald demon, I’ll love Amelia Rose because she’s part of Peggy Jo, unlike her dick cats.
I even texted Henry to tell him I still think my grandfather was a real fucking asshole, or I wouldn’t have been in all those foster homes my whole life, but I’m grateful to Henry for keeping track of the money the man left me for the last few years and for putting up with my ingratitude.
Apparently opioids make me a grateful-but-jerky oversharer? I don’t know.
But what I do know is that right now they’re taking my phone away again and telling me that the surgery is expected to go well, and all kinds of other reassurances that glide right past as I try to figure out what all this means for when I can get back on the wall again.
As my mind spins, they roll me in. There are bright lights above. A mask is placed over my mouth and nose. I’m asked to count backward from one hundred. I reach ninety-seven.
It all disappears.
*
Sejin
My phone isfull of unread texts and a few phone calls. I’d heard them come in—ping, ping, ping, ping, ping—but I’d been unable to wake up enough to check them; sleep had held me too deeply in its grip.
I jerk up now.
What if they’re from the hospital telling me Dan needs me? Telling me something has gone wrong? Telling me Dan’s not all right?
The fear that had nearly paralyzed me as I’d waited for Dan to be rescued from the wall grips me again. Shaking, I quickly scan the list to see the number thirty-six by Dan’s name. Christ, how had I slept through that many?
Heart in my throat, I open the thread and scan the messages.
Woke up. Nuts gave me phone
*Nurse
Two minutes later.Are you asleep? Hope so. Sleep tight, Doc
A half minute later.Doc, ha, Doc. Now we can for real play doctor. Prob won’t be much fun though. Real in hurries aren’t.
*Injuries
Good drugs are good though. I’m gonna push the button for more
Shortly after.Did you know I like everything about you?
Then—I don’t even like everything about myself
And—Your hair, your eyes, the way you smell, and your laugh
Followed by a list, each a separate text.Your kindness
Your smile when you play with kids
Your kpop
The hair on your legs
How your kneecaps smell specifications
*specifically ducking autocorrect
*FUCKING AUTOCORRECT
The ticklish spot behind your ear
