Page 56 of Mrs. Pandey
He walked over to her, and they hugged, not just casually. It was the kind of embrace that belonged to people who had their hearts in each other's palms. They sat down, hands brushing, eyes meeting like they were speaking in a language only lovers understood.
I watched them quietly and silently. I didn't move; I couldn't. My coffee sat untouched as I saw the life I had once dreamt of playing out in front of me, only with someone else in my place.
It hurt. It hurt like hell.
I tried to focus anywhere but them at the coffee cup in front of me, at the blurred shapes moving outside the glass, at thesoft clinking of cutlery and low hum of conversations in the restaurant. But no matter how hard I tried, my eyes found their way back to Ira. Back to her smile. To Aryan's hand gently resting on hers. To the way her face softened when she looked at him.
They were talking, lost in each other, and forgot about the world around them. I couldn't hear what they were saying anymore. I didn't need to. The way they looked at each other said enough. There was affection in every glance and every gesture.
Then Aryan leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. That moment was so simple and so full of love, but it hit me like a slap across my face. She closed her eyes briefly, leaning into him like it was the safest place in the world, like she wanted to spend her whole life in his arms. And maybe she did.
My stomach twisted.
Jealousy surged through me; it was sharp and sudden. I gripped the edge of my seat, trying to steady myself. My fingers curled into fists beneath the table. I wanted to look away, but I couldn't. My heart was screaming, and yet my face stayed still. No one around could tell that I was burning on the inside. I still plastered that shitty smile on my face like everything was going as planned, but the truth was, it never was.
It used to be my dream to hold her hand across a table, to make her laugh, to kiss her forehead and feel her melt into me. I had imagined it a thousand times. I had lived it in my mind, even if it was never going to happen.
And now someone else was living it effortlessly and deservedly, maybe. But it didn't stop the anger from rising like smoke in my chest. I wasn't angry at her. Never her.
I was angry at the timing. Fate. At myself for hoping that maybe one day, she would look back and find me there, still waiting and loving. But watching her now, with Aryan, I knew. I knew they belonged to each other. She wasn't mine to wait for anymore.
My chest felt tight as I blinked hard and looked away. The walls felt closer. The air was heavier. The coffee, now cold, was bitter on my tongue. I had to leave.
But something inside me whispered, Just a little longer. Just to see her happy. Just to remember her like this, smiling, loved, and beautiful. Even if it shattered me piece by piece. I would love her forever and stay loyal to her.
______
The next day, I returned to my base camp in Jammu. The air back at base was dry, cold, and sharp like the thoughts running through my head.
I had barely spoken since returning. The images from the restaurant played on a loop in my head: Aryan's arms around her, Ira's smile, that kiss on her forehead. It wasn't the kiss that broke me, it was the peace in her eyes. The comfort. The certainty that she had chosen the right man.
A man like him. A Captain.
I stared blankly at the mission briefing folder in front of me. The name on the front: Operation Shadow Wolf - Kupwara Sector Reconnaissance.
It was a dangerous, high-risk mission. Intel indicated that a group of heavily armed insurgents had infiltrated through the Line of Control. With surveillance having failed, we needed covert and silent eyes and ears on the ground. A voluntary team of five was required.
My Commanding Officer looked at me, concerned hidden behind his steel-hard expression.
"You don't have to take this, Lieutenant Prashant. You've already done more than enough in your last posting. We'll find someone else."
I didn't blink. My voice was calm, but it came from a darker place inside me.
"I'll do it, sir."
He studied me for a moment. "This isn't just another patrol. If something goes wrong, extraction won't be guaranteed. You understand what you're signing up for?"
I nodded. "Fully."
He gave a tight nod and signed off the orders. "If you return alive, you'll be recommended for promotion. Captain rank. It'll be fast-tracked. You've earned that."
Captain. The word echoed in my chest like a challenge. That was Aryan's rank. Ira's perfect boyfriend. Captain Aryan.
I wasn't doing this for medals, not for glory.
I was doing this because I needed to feel like I meant something. I wanted to prove, maybe to Ira, maybe to the world, maybe just to myself that I wasn't just the boy she said no to.
That I was more. That I was worth something. Even if I had to bleed for it.
