Page 31 of Count Your Lucky Stars
Margot stared.
“Okay, it’s mine,” Olivia amended, squirming under Margot’s curious stare. “But I didn’t buy it.” She coughed. “My, uh, my dad bought it. For me. He thought it would be helpful or something. He’s supported all my decisions, but he only understands not being married anymore from the standpoint of... grief. And there is that, but for me it’s all tangled up with relief, too.”
Margot flipped the book over, skimming the back, just like she had Olivia’s romance novels. “Was it?”
“Was it what?”
Margot looked up. “Helpful.”
“Oh.” She tucked her hair behind her left ear and shrugged. “I guess? It talks about setting boundaries and looking to the future instead of wasting time playing the blame game. That just because your ex wasn’t the right person for you doesn’t mean that person isn’t out there.” She smiled. “Nothing I didn’t already know.”
Whether she believed it was a different story. Or if they were out there, what were the chances she would be the right person for them, too? Life was far from fair; it would be just her luck that her perfect person would find her wanting.
Margot set the book back into the box before she reached out and plucked her old friendship bracelet off the table, rollingit between her fingers. The knotted ends were frayed, the black letters on the pastel rainbow beads faded from wear. Her lips quirked at the corners. “Watch out using that phrase around Brendon.” She huffed gently.“Right person.”
Brendon had created a dating app, sure, and the way he looked at Annie with total moon eyes certainly supported his reputation as a hopeless romantic. But Margot made it sound as if there was more to it than that. “Why do I get the feeling there’s a story there?”
“Brendon, Brendon, Brendon.” Margot laughed and shook her head, managing to look both fond and exasperated. “He loves his job. He takes itveryseriously. Verypersonally.” Margot rolled her eyes. “He thinks it’s his mission in life, hiscallingpractically, to help everyone around him find love.” Her nose scrunched on the last word. “The fact that he successfully set up Darcy with Elle only made him more dogged about it, more... confident that he’s meant to be this—this matchmaker.”
He sounded well-meaning, but she could see where that could get old fast. Joining a dating app and searching for love was one thing; having potential love matches foisted on you when you weren’t interested was something else altogether. “I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that you’ve been the... victim? Of one of his matchmaking schemes?”
Margot’s face did something complicated, scrunching as if she’d sucked on a lemon, before her brows rose and she sighed, shoulders slumping. “He’s tried. I’m usually pretty good at putting him in his place, gently yet firmly, but I’ve been known to cave on occasion. I’ve never let him set me up with someone,but I go through the motions if we’re out somewhere and he introduces me to a friend of his. When Brendon inevitably wanders off to give us time to chat, I make it clear if I’m not actually interested.”
Not actually interested in the friends Brendon tried to set her up with, or not interested in dating,period? “So you aren’t seeing anyone?”
Olivia held her breath. That was probably something she should’ve asked before, when they were having their roommate chat. She’d had the perfect opening when she’d asked about having people over, but she’d flustered too easily.Margotmade her fluster too easily.
“No.” Margot’s tongue darted out, wetting her bottom lip. “I’m not.”
Do you want to be?sounded like a cringe pickup line even if that wasn’t how Olivia meant it. But when Margot didn’t tack on a helpful adjoiner, she had to asksomething. She wouldn’t be able to sleep otherwise, her curiosity niggling at her. “Are you interested in finding someone?”
Had it been a question ofwrong time, wrong placewhen they were younger, or was Olivia just the wrong person?
Margot slipped her fingers beneath her glasses and rubbed her eyes. “I’m notnotinterested. I just don’t feel like Ineedsomeone. Like I’m lacking without myspecial other half.” Margot scoffed softly, brow knitting harshly, her scowl returning. “I’m a whole person. And the idea of needing to find someone to make you complete seems like bullshit to me. The right person shouldn’tcompleteyou, they should love you the way youare. And it’s cool if they make you want to be better, but they should never make you feel like you’re too much or not enough exactly as you are.” Margot took a deep breath and released it slowly. “Sorry.” She chuckled. “Soapbox. I have a lot of feelings, I guess.”
“I like your feelings,” Olivia blurted, face heating. “I mean, your feelings are valid.”
Margot blushed, the tops of her ears turning a darker shade than her cheeks. She laughed under her breath. “Thanks. As much as I love my friends, sometimes I feel like they don’t get it. They’re all in relationships and so happy and I’m happyforthem, but based on how they talk sometimes I get the feeling they wish I were in a relationship because it would be easier forthem. Like it would tie our friend group up into a nice little six-way bow. No loose strings.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way. No one should ever take your friendship for granted.”
Not any friendship, but certainly not Margot’s. Margot had been the most loyal friend Olivia had ever had, and she knew from experience what it was like losing that, missing it, wanting it back.
It was funny. Well, perhapsfunnywasn’t the right word. Ironic, maybe—Olivia always used that word wrong—how she hadn’t regretted sleeping with Margot, but she’d absolutely regretted the aftermath. How, without meaning to, it had complicated everything, something she’dthoughthad brought them together instead adding distance between them.
Margot wrapped the ends of her friendship bracelet aroundher narrow wrist and shrugged. “I’m not saying they’re taking me for granted, but it just sucks to think that they potentially rank our friendship lower than their relationships when they aren’t comparable, you know? Love isn’t supposed to be quantifiable, relationships held up against one another,pittedagainst one another. That’s a shitty thing to try to do, like asking someone to compare their love for their mother to their love for their partner or their best friend.”
When Margot frowned at her wrist, unable to knot the ends of the bracelet together with one hand, Olivia reached out to do it for her.
“It’s like, I don’t care about you less because I don’t want in your pants, you know?” Margot paused and lifted her eyes, a low creak escaping her parted lips. “Generalyou. Not you specifically. Not that I’mnotsaying...” She turned her head to the side and chuckled. “Wow, I’m going to shut up.”
Olivia bit her lip, smothering her smile at how flustered Margot sounded. Whether Margot had wanted in Olivia’s pants had never been the question. Or it had been, but only until it had been answered. It wasn’t the prevailing question now. “I know what you were trying to say.”
“Do you?” Margot laughed, a flush creeping down her neck and disappearing where her slouchy crewneck sweater draped beneath her collarbones. “Because I think I got lost somewhere in there.”
Olivia finished tying the bracelet, but let her fingers linger, adjusting the way the braided rope and beads sat. Olivia’s thumb grazed the fragile skin over the inside of Margot’s wrist, making her shiver, and Olivia could’ve sworn she felt Margot’spulse skip. “You value your friendships. It’s—it was always one of my favorite things about you.”
Margot’s throat jerked. “Yeah?”
