Page 16 of The Fiancée Farce
For the second time in twenty-four hours, Tansy was lost. “I don’t have a spiel. I—”
“You don’t have a spiel?” The man tutted as if it were Tansy who was being ridiculous. “I can’t imagine how you plan to persuade me if you don’t have a spiel. Well, I suppose bribery is always an option, but you seem a”—he wiggled his fingers at her—“bit of a do-gooder for that sort of degeneracy.”
Was that supposed to be a compliment? “Thank you? I—”
“Do you at least have a copy of your religious text that I might be able to peruse at my leisure?”
“No, I’m not—”
“That’s disappointing. You’re rather bad at this.” He frowned, drumming his fingers against the door. His nails were painted black, the polish pristine, as if freshly painted. “Are you new? In training, perhaps? Would you like some feedback? Constructive, of course! I don’t want to, like, crush your spirits.”
“That’s kind of you to offer, but I’m—”
“Tansy? Hi.” Gemma stepped into view, shouldering her way into the doorway, a delicate wrinkle forming in the space above her nose. She shoved the sleeves of her oversized sweatshirt up her arms, and as she did, the hem rose an inch, revealing nothing but bare skin beneath. A shiver ripped its way up Tansy’s spine, and for a second she could’ve sworn her brain buffered, blanking out entirely. She snapped back at the sound of Gemma’s voice and tore her eyes from Gemma’s thighs before she could be caught staring. “—is Teddy, one of my roommates.”
“Tansy! Tansy from last night?” He waited for Gemma’s nod.“Why didn’t you say? I’m delighted to make your acquaintance.” Teddy bent at the waist, bowing low, offering her a cheeky wink. “And for the record, I’m hardlyjustGemma’s roommate. I’m also her closest confidant, emergency contact, voice of unreason, and the handsome devil on her shoulder. And on occasion, her one phone call and the purveyor of her bond.”
“That wasonce, and it was a misunderstanding. They dropped the charges.”
“You, my friend, are still banned from the Dunkin’ Donuts in the West Village. For life.”
What exactly did one have to do to warrant a lifelong ban from a coffee shop? On second thought, maybe she didn’t want to know.
Gemma rolled her eyes, smile fond. “I’d assure you Teddy isn’t usually like this, but that would be a lie. He’s worse.”
He beamed. “You know what they say—one woman’s worse is another woman’s better.”
Gemma arched a brow. “No one says that.”
“They should start. Don’t you agree, Tansy?”
“Um.” Tansy looked to Gemma for guidance, a clue,something. Gemma shrugged, oversized sweatshirt slipping off her shoulder. “I guess—”
“See, Tansy agrees with me.” Teddy wrapped an arm around Tansy’s shoulders and steered her into the apartment
Tansy wasn’t in Kansas anymore. She was pretty sure she was in Palm Springs—1960s Palm Springs, to be precise.
The walls were painted bubblegum, and the one behind the pink velvet sofa was covered in a deep green palm print wallpaper. The furniture was all midcentury modern, with teakwood and curved lines, save for the giant inflatable swan pool float that was propped against the wall beside the framed television.Someone had been watchingThe Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
“Now, Tansy, I figure since you’re going to be marrying one of my best friends in this entire godforsaken world, you and I should get to know each other properly.”
“I haven’t actually agreed to anything yet, but... okay?”
“What do you do for fun? What do you like? Perhaps you have a dark, painful secret you’d like to share? Trauma, while terrible, is fantastic for bonding.”
Her head spun. “Just dive right into the deep end, why don’t you?”
It was starting to look like that pool float might come in handy, after all.
Teddy stopped walking and frowned. “I’m sorry. Too much, too soon? Should I ask your favorite color first?”
“It’s purple,” Gemma said.
Tansy frowned. “How did you know that?”
Gemma shrugged, eyeing up Tansy’s sweater. “You’ve worn the color twice in two days.”
“So you just assumed it was my favorite as opposed to it being a coincidence that I chose to wear it?”
