Page 61 of Cinder
“You know actually, I like that idea. I’ll have a special one placed just across the road from your bedroom window…”
“You’re still dodging the point,” Cin reminded him.
“The point of what? That I should be as capable as my brother and parents, and yet my only decent quality is getting myself into people’s pants?”
“You get people to look at you, to trust you. You connect with them.” He could see the prince already opening his mouth, but Cin cut him off, “And notjustthose you sleep with. You have rapport with those who serve in the castle and guard it—don’t deny that.”
“Why would I?” Prince Lorenz held up one hand. “They’re lovely people. I’m honored to call so many of them friends. But I cannot lead by making friends with the whole of Hallin.”
“And,” Cin continued as if he hadn’t objected, “you convinced your parents to let me go free, to let us stay friends, even.”
“They’re myparents.”
“They are thequeen and kingof Hallin.”
Prince Lorenz scoffed. As he did, the sound of annoyed voices echoed from further down the hallway, and he pulled Cin to the side, through a door into an unused suite with sheets draping the furniture. By the sprawling room set up and attached servant chamber, Cin guessed they were nearing the living quarters of the royals themselves. Prince Lorenz seemed not to care, pacingthe length of the room almost mindlessly before Cin caught up to him, sliding an arm through his to pull him to a stop.
“Why does it hurt you to think you might be able to put the same skill you employ with your sexual conquests to use in other ways? Or that you already are?”
The prince shook his head, but he looked away. His voice was low when he finally spoke again, his soul seeming adrift on a sea of confusion. “As punishment for last week, my parents assigned me to meet with the locals in council—to hear grievances that we may address widely through better governance.”
Cin cupped the prince’s neck gingerly. “How did it go?”
Prince Lorenz shrugged. “It felt good to meet with the people—not to party with them or give speeches or act as ambassador on their behalf, but to simply sit with one or two and listen to their troubles. Perhaps I even managed to help a few of them.” His shoulders shifted like he was trying to shimmy his way out of a shrug. “It’s nice to believe so, anyway.”
“I’m certain you did. You have a gift for making people’s lives better,” Cin said, smiling softly. “You first saw me, awkward and alone, and despite my refusal to give you anything, you took it upon yourself to turn my night into something spectacular.”
Prince Lorenz snorted. “You were very handsome.”
“True. But there were plenty of other beautiful people in attendance.”
“How odd.” The prince’s voice shifted, going low and heavy. “Because all I see tonight is you.”
Cin’s heart jumped and fell, all at once. He wanted to say, suddenly,but you would neverchooseme for the rest of your nights, like a barb tearing out of his throat from the rose he’d so desperately swallowed these past weeks. Instead, Cin put on a weak smile, and as gently as he could manage, he replied, “You’ll have to be a little less blind by the end of the night. It will be veryhard to put a ring on the finger of your future partner if you are looking at me.”
Despite all of Cin’s efforts, the prince still looked like he’d been slapped. “You know that I don’t want—” he started, but the energy seemed to rush out of him, and he turned his face away, sighing.
Gently, Cin asked, “Whatdoyou want?”
“I don’t know.” He looked so lost.
“Don’t you?” Cin tucked back a strand of the loose locks of the prince’s hair beneath his royal circlet.I’m right here, he wanted to scream,take my hand and walk away with me. Run if you have to.“If you could go anywhere, live any life, where would it be?”
“Before Alwin…” Prince Lorenz’s fingers constricted against his chest, as though he was clutching into the flesh itself. Pain tore across his face. He seemed to shake it off with a quick, sharp twitch of his head. “Thisismy life. I can’t be dreaming of another.”
It was an expression so familiar to Cin, ugly and demanding and, from what he could now see, mostly a lie. “But you could have so much more.”
Prince Lorenz only shook his head again and took a step back, falling out of Cin’s reach.
Cin followed him, cautiously. “Your Highness…”
“You don’t need toYour Highnessme,” the prince grumbled, still not meeting Cin’s gaze. “I have a name, you know.”
“PrinceLorenz.” There was a little bite to his voice, and it seemed to snap the prince back to himself, if only partially.
“Ren,” he said, almost meeting Cin’s gaze for once. “My closest friends call me Ren.”
Closest. The word stung in ways that it shouldn’t have been allowed to: like there were others who shared this intimacy—who would continue to, someday, when Cin was no longerneeded. He tried to duck in front of his prince, look up at him properly in the hopes of seeing through whatever terrible distance had come over him, and he wasn’t sure why he said it, because he knew it couldn’t end well. Yet he did anyway. “Is that what I am, Ren? One of your closest?”
