Page 65 of Cinder
“You say it’s better when I’m here, when we talk and touch?” Cin’s voice came hoarse, but he pushed onward. “That means there’s hope then, does it not?”
A tear slid down Cin’s cheek, and he sniffled in surprise. When he reached to brush it away though, it was Lorenz’s eyes that were wet and red.
“While you’re with me, I can believe that.”
Cin pressed his thumb under his prince’s eyes, one after the other, and smiled despite himself. “Then I should never leave,” he said, knowing it was ridiculous, knowing it would never work, knowing they were still, despite all their hope and comfort, bound for the same tragedy that had caught Cin the moment he’d fallen for Lorenz.
His prince smiled back at him. “Well, this is certainly a different tone than I had imagined for our last evening.”
Cin’s laugh was small but somehow, weirdly content. “You did bring me back to your chambers. I think for you, that means we can’t be intimate here.”
“Now, now.” Lorenz narrowed his eyes mischievously. “I said that I never sleep with people in my bed. This, if I’m not mistaken, is what we in the most prestigious classes call afloor.”
“Cheeky.” Snorting, Cin gave him a little shove, and when Lorenz returned the favor, Cin flopped backward across the blankets. He tried to stretch his arms above his head and snuggle into the nest of comforts. The magic of his clothing was clearly not as in tune to his needs as it should have been, because his fancy jacket cut the motion short, pinching in his shoulders and armpits. He lay there awkwardly instead, lifting his brow at Lorenz. “Do you do anything in that great big bed of yours?”
Lorenz leaned over Cin, and one by one he began popping open the buttons on Cin’s jacket. “I do sleep there. Occasionally. But it’s so downy that my back feels better here, and besides, here is warm.”
“You privileged little prince,” Cin teased.
He grinned down at Cin. “Guilty as charged.” But through the dangling collar of his shirt, Cin could see the shadow of his bound heart, and he knew that no life was so simple.
Cin felt his own expression soften, stupidly, the ache in his chest rearing its head, but in its claws was a joy so unlikeanything he’d known. “I’m glad you tried to fuck me that first night.”
“Oh?” Lorenz pushed Cin’s jacket over his shoulders, and Cin sat up enough to let his lover—his love, if only in part, in half—pull the fabric free and strip it off. “Wishing now you’d said yes, hmm?”
“No.” Cin laughed, sitting up further, until his legs were tangled in Lorenz’s, their faces close again, breaths shared. “I have very much enjoyed knowingyoumore, the more Iknowyou.”
“Sounds pretentious.” But Lorenz seemed a little bit in awe as he said it. He gave a tug to the collar of Cin’s shirt. “I’ve shown you mine…”
The flush that spread over Cin’s cheeks and down his neck wasn’t unexpected, but it still felt like an announcement that he’d never done anything quite like this before. But Lorenz had. And he trusted his prince with his body—even with his heart, despite everything. Or perhaps, weirdly, more because of it. “I suppose it’s only fair.”
Lorenz’s grin sparkled in his eyes. He didn’t hesitate, flipping through each of Cin’s vest and shirt buttons like his fingers knew their forms already, setting Cin’s knife and sheath off to the side with reverence, and when he got to Cin’s undershirt, he stripped it up and over Cin’s head like a thirsty man trying to dig water out of the desert. The little exhale that left him after brought a mist to Cin’s eyes.
“You’re the first to see it,” he said, feeling a bit like he was babbling, but he needed to fill the silence while Lorenz took him in.
Lorenz gave a low whistle. His eyes lifted, creasing at the corners. “I’m going to touch you now, my dove. If you don’t want any part of my lust, then tell me outright, because otherwise, Iwill take you for everything you are worth. Every piece of you will be mine, and I will say no to nothing.”
Yes, Cin wanted to plead, to shout, to tear between Lorenz’s ribs and convince his poor, strangled heart that it could be free again, with him. But the little twist in his gut stopped him. He could feel the burn in his cheeks as he ducked his head. “Everything, except… I don’t mind my more feminine bits being down there, but I don’t want you inside them, if that makes sense?” He’d never had anything in his other hole either, but he knew that was a way it was often done, and it sounded more pleasant, at least in his mind.
“You make sense,” Lorenz said, and it was everything Cin didn’t know he needed to hear. He fingers crept around Cin’s hips. “Now, if that’s all…”
Fuck, this was going to kill Cin, wasn’t it? But, well, he could accept that. He breathed in, then out, and whispered, “Take me.”
“As you wish,” Lorenz whispered back.
Twenty-Seven
Cin’s heart beat faster as Lorenz pulled him closer and pressed him down. One of his hands fisted into Cin’s hair and he searched out Cin’s face and neck with his lips, nibbling and sucking and tugging at Cin’s skin as he fit Cin against the blankets. It was so much, so sudden, that every little sensation welled to bursting inside Cin, pressing back against his skin as though Cin’s soul was shifting to meet with Lorenz’s mouth. He searched the ceiling without really seeing it, tearing into his lower lip with his teeth. Slowly he worked up the confidence to lift his hands. He placed one on Lorenz’s hip.
The little moan that Lorenz made had to be dramatized, but it gave Cin the confidence to slide his other hand into place, drawing them both up and under the back of Lorenz’s shirt. His skin felt so perfectly smooth, muscles strong and tight beneath. With each touch, everything seemed even more right.
Then, Lorenz found Cin’s freshly transformed nipple.
It wasn’t the same sensation that he’d had before the magic shifted his chest, but it was better somehow—righter. He sunk into the feeling without the shimmy of discomfort beneath his skin that had always accompanied anyone—himself included—touching those tender places in the past. As Lorenz’s teeth sunk into him, sudden and sharp, Cin arched back, and over the top of his trousers, two fingers found the sweet spot between his legs so fast he thought they were hisownfor a second, before they began to move. He moaned, and he wanted it suddenly to be his fingers, but his fingers inside Lorenz, to know how to dothisto the person he loved. A wave of heat rushed him at the thought.
“That’s it,” Lorenz cooed, teasing at Cin’s sweet spot. “Tell me you want me.”
The thought dragged a flush through Cin’s whole body, but he said it anyway, aching against Lorenz’s touch. “I want you.”
