Page 33 of Cinder
By the look on the prince’s face, any amount of gardening seemed to be more work than he’d ever imaginedhimselfdoing. “And you all do the cleaning, for the whole estate? And launder? Tend the hearths? Fetch the shopping? Patch the drafts? That must be enough work for a dozen servants.”
“It’s notthatbig a house, really.” Though it certainly felt that way on dusting days, or any time the wind whipped through the damaged ceiling, which was most days in the winter. Cin cringed despite himself. “It does get drafty, though. Father says he’ll patch the roof, but he’s off on business most months of the year, so it tends to be forgotten.”
Prince Lorenz shuddered visibly. “How hideous—no offense.” He narrowed his eyes at Cin. “And the rest? Does your father help with any of that?”
“Not generally.” Cin looked aside, like that would make the whole line of questioning go away. Each new inquiry was beginning to feel like a small barb beneath his ribs. “He runs the business, and Mother does the finances, and I care for the estate.”
“I thought you had three siblings?”
Cin snorted. “Useless ones.”
Now Prince Lorenz was folding his arms as well, practically scowling. “Still, they should be helping you! If not them,someone.”
“What if I do clean, and launder, and tend the hearths, and fetch the shopping? They are the tasks that need doing, and I’ve the skill to do them. If I can keep my family home from falling into ruin then it’s my responsibility to do what I can. No one else will. No one else can!” Cin had to survive these frustrations every day. He didn’t want to relive them now, during the one time he had for himself and his own desires. But now that he was, he found himself scowling, the pain inside him turning to something sharp between his lips. “The world isn’t like your pretty castle. Life isn’t as easy for us as smiles and balls and marriages. Some of us must work to live; not everything in our lives is handed to us on a platter.”
A wave of embarrassment flooded the prince’s expression. “I know,” Prince Lorenz whispered, and he looked so vulnerable in that moment that it broke Cin’s flash of anger into a thousand pieces, stunning him free.
He breathed out, slipping his fingers against the prince’s arm, encouragingly.
“I’m being selfish and arrogant,” Prince Lorenz said. “And not just in this, but in my life. I know I need to put my cares aside for the sake of my people and my family—and that’s what I’ll be doing. It’s what I’ve been trying to do.” Cin couldn’t see much of the prince’s face from that angle, the sliver of a moon risingbehind the prince’s head, but he could feel the gentleness in the prince’s touch as he caught Cin by the shoulders. “But you—you have no reason to torment yourself to keep your family afloat! You had a proposal of partnership just today.Youcould choose a new life, a better one.”
That life—the life with Dorthe—flashed before Cin’s eyes again, and this time, he wanted it. Just for the tiniest second, hewantedit. Then, the weight of the rest of his life settled back down, and he didn’t have the energy to want any longer. “YourRoyalHighness,” Cin begged: not a title but a soft, aching thing. Mylove, it sounded like, though for the life of him, he didn’t know why.
Prince Lorenz’s hands shifting, sliding up Cin’s shoulders and cupping tenderly around his neck, one thumb caressing his cheek. “Does your family make you happy? Does this estate?”
Cin thought, oddly, not of his birth mother’s esteemed virtues for him, but of Emma. Kind, ignorant Emma, watching everything she touched fall to pieces the same way their family’s fortune had fallen apart under their father.
In the silence, the prince’s voice felt like a beacon, his words a lighthouse. “The thorns in your side should be from the roses that sweeten your life. If they are not, pull them out.”
Cin closed his eyes and felt nothing but the prince’s fingertips. “If only I could pull you out,” he grumbled, knowing as he said it that what he meant was the exact opposite. “But it’s not that easy for me. I can’t leave my family to suffer. I can’t be that selfish. Just like you, and your parent’s future for this kingdom—I can’t simply walk away.”
The prince opened his mouth like he was going to protest, but as he stared at Cin in the darkness, all he ended up with was, “Please do what you can then, for yourself?”
“Only if you make the same promise,” Cin whispered.
A small, wistful smile graced Prince Lorenz’s beautiful mouth. “What else do you think I’m doing here, with you, if not that?”
He brushed back a stray wisp of Cin’s hair, and it felt suddenly as though they were both trapped within a cage, together but apart all at once. They were both living the lives that they had been given, and they’d known from the beginning that those lives were only aligning for a short time.
Who were they, to think they had the right to change each other?
Cin leaned into the pressure of Prince Lorenz’s palm as it drifted up to cup his cheek. At least they were not entirely alone, even now. Their short time was not yet up.
“Have I ruined our outing?” Cin whispered. Then, more dramatically, pushing out his lower lip slightly. “Are you not going to kiss me, now?”
The prince’s laugh seemed to emerge like a light from the darkness. “Of course I’m going to kiss you, dove,” he whispered back.
And then he did.
Prince Lorenz wrapped one arm around Cin’s waist and pulled him close, mouth hungry but more contained now, kissing Cin like he was taking a deep drag from the well of life.
When he finished, Cin’s knees were shaky, his lips tingling, and he leaned against Prince Lorenz, playing with the edges of his prince’s jacket. “You are so good at that.”
Cin could feel Prince Lorenz’s smirk against his forehead, and hear it in his low voice. “You are infuriating.”
“A thorn, yes,” Cin agreed. “Acquaintances you tease and fuck can be thorns, correct?”
“If they are you?” Prince Lorenz chuckled. “Most certainly.”
