Page 48 of Cinder
“Unless… I can ask for more?”
Cin’s heart leaped at the thought. His soul seemed to cry out, raging inside his chest, and everything in him screamed past the pain of his ribs that this—this—was what he needed: more time with Prince Lorenz, with his only and best friend, this wonderful man who could know him, all of him, and think him not a villain for it.
But the world had not changed since he’d first told the prince they would have to part ways after the balls. There was still no way for him to leave his home regularly to visit the castle. No way for them to spend time together regularly that wouldn’t eventually bring his identity into it.
“You knew what this relationship was to be, ending and all,” Cin said.
And damn, did he hate himself for it.
A flash of pain crossed the prince’s face, but then his hand went to his chest, and his expression turned as charming as any moment on the dance floor. “Well, I had to at least try. You did say I could ask you anything.”
“True.” Cin nodded, then cringed, when somehow even that hurt his sides. “If you’re satisfied though, I must leave. One of my pigeons was hit during the chase. I need to find her.”
If not her, then her cold, broken body, but Cin couldn’t bring himself to admit that possibility out loud. He didn’t have room in his chest for those emotions yet, should they be necessary.
For now, he had to believe she was all right out there somewhere.
“Of course,” Prince Lorenz said. Before Cin could stand, the prince’s arms shifted around his, one of them slipping under Cin’s knees and the other at his back.
He swept Cin up and carried him toward the door.
Cin’s position put extra strain on his chest binding, and the sharp pain beneath it, but the thought of trading the prince’s embrace for the ability to breathe or to think seemed silly after a week of believing he’d never get to touch Prince Lorenz one last time, kiss him goodbye like their separate futures didn’t matter.
As they passed a few other open cells, the sounds of the underground river fading behind them, Cin realized his angelic chorus of moans had always been the echoes of the water. Every other chamber in the decaying dungeon was empty. Perhaps it was not the only place in the palace where prisoners could be kept, but at least it seemed the crown did not regularly deem anyone worthy of this terrible treatment. Cin wasn’t sure whether to be insulted or honored by that.
Was its emptiness the reason so many bastards roamed the streets? This form of justice seemed no more desirable than a blade, though.
Prince Lorenz finally set Cin down at the top of the dungeon’s stairwell, where the musky, dark tunnels turned to the clean and well-lit hallways of what appeared to be the castle’s guard wing, though of the few guards who passed by them, none stopped to intrude on the situation. Word must have already spread that Cin’s name had been cleared, even if the reason behind it would remain a secret.
As Cin tried to step away though, Prince Lorenz took his hand. “You won’t be questioned if I’m here.”
Cin couldn’t argue with that, nor with the warmth of the prince’s hand, nor the way his presence made Cin stronger as he forced himself to journey back around the castle toward the darker side of the estate. As they walked, birds gathered along the eaves of the buildings, dozens upon dozens of them flooding down from the dovecote above. Guiding his way.
He followed them.
Cin’s binding seemed to be growing tighter with each step, but he didn’t bother to take the time to stop and loosen it. There would be no soldiers chasing him now, at least. No rooftops to fall from. Once he found Perdition, it wouldn’t matter if the pain brought him to his knees.
He gritted his teeth at the memory of his capture, and for what felt like the hundredth time, he wished he had been born slimmer in the chest, with a form that didn’t require any pressure placed upon its tender sides for him to feel at peace with his own body. Since they’d arrived, the mere sight of his own breasts left him wanting to slip backwards out of his skin with such aggression that the pain had always seemed worth the price… but now…
And if the shortcomings of his body had somehow led to Perdition’s death...
Cin didn’t want to even consider that. But the closer he came to where he’d been caught, the more the gathered birds seemed like a funeral procession, their heads bowed and their silence unnerving for such a large flock. He held the prince’s hand all the tighter.
Together, they walked through the darkness.
Twenty
At the base of the castle wall, Cin found his magical steed, its legs folded under it as it laid on the stone street. From a distance, its body looked wrong, and it took Cin nearly reaching it in the dim lighting to make out the layers of feathers and wings sprouting from it, as though the mass of birds that created it were only half-transformed. Its eyes met Cin’s as he approached, and instead of the usual dark horse irises were dozens of tiny bird one, collected together, blinking in their own time, with their own tiny lids.
Prince Lorenz startled to a halt, but Cin could sense the chaotic beast’s acceptance of them instantly. The flock-creature lifted its head and cooed, motioning Cin closer with all its jumbled wings. Letting go of the prince’s hand, he came to it, stroking along its feathered neck. Despite his best attempts, he could already feel the tears pooling in his eyes.
Between the flock-creature’s delicate front legs lay a small heap of white.
Cin pressed his hand to his mouth. Prince Lorenz’s arm wrapped around his shoulders, easing him down as he knelt at his flock-creature’s side, carefully stretching one hand toward Perdition’s huddled body. Her tiny back raised and lowered. He choked on a sob of relief.
As gently as he could, he scooped her up. One of her eyes opened a sliver and her wings twitched as though in an effort to rearrange them. Cin pressed her to his chest, petting a single thumb over the top of her head as the tears slipped, unbidden down his cheeks. She cooed.
Alive. Injured, but alive. It was the best Cin could have hoped for.
