Page 37 of Possessed By the Dragon Alien
About how many people hehadn’tsaved because he hadn’t known he was fighting for the wrong side.
During the second cycle, while Rien slept and Nena dozed in her alcove, Madrian sat strapped in the pilot’s seat. He stared out at the vast emptiness of space. Stars wheeled slowly past as the ship maintained its course, each one representing entire systems he’d never see.
How many worlds had the Axis conquered while he served them? How many civilizations had been destroyed or enslaved? The reports had always framed such actions as necessary for galactic stability, but now he knew those had been lies.
“I can’t sleep.” Nena’s voice came from behind him. He turned to find her emerging from her alcove, hair messed, but eyes alert. “Want to swap out with me? Rien is snoring, but…”
“No,” he said. “Too much to think about.”
She moved to his lap, settling down on his thighs with a soft sigh as he wrapped his arms around her to keep her from floating away. “Want to talk about it?”
“I’ve been trying to calculate how many people I’ve killed while serving the Axis.” The words came out like a casual conversation, but there was nothing causal about it. “The direct kills are easier to count. But the indirect ones—orders I gave,missions I planned, intelligence I provided—those numbers get very large, very quickly.”
“You thought you were doing what was right, at the time.”
“Does that matter to the dead?”
Nena was quiet for a long moment. When she spoke, her voice was gentle but firm. “No, but it matters to the people you’ll save going forward.”
“If I’m capable of saving anyone. My skills seem designed for destruction.”
“Oh, you’re underestimating yourself.” She reached over and took his hand. “You spent most of your life manipulating, observing, andsurvivingthe most dangerous individuals in existence. You think that isn’t a skill?” She shook her head. “I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t last apikin a room with the council.”
Hehadsurvived more than one attempt to oust him. But at the same time, he’d plotted against a few council members himself. “So you’re saying I’d make a good politician.”
She chuckled, apparently seeing humor in something where he did not. “You’d make a good negotiator, leader, councilor, among any number of other things.”
“As long as I remember not to slaughter those who annoy me,” he said. “What if I can’t change enough?”
“Then you’ll fail trying to do the right thing instead of succeeding at doing the wrong thing. And you’re not going to kill people who annoy you. You’re not an animal, forfek’ssake.”
Her logic was simple. It cut through the layers of self-doubt that had been building in his mind. She was right. Even if he failed, at least he’d fail in service of something worthwhile.
“Thank you,” he said.
“For what?”
“For believing I’m worth saving.”
She squeezed his hand. “You saved yourself, Madrian. I just helped you remember who you were supposed to be.”
They sat in comfortable silence, watching the stars turn slowly past the viewport. His fingers played idly with her hair. He breathed her in, taking in the soft, warm scent of her. Eventually, Nena’s breathing deepened as she dozed against his shoulder. Madrian remained awake, keeping watch over their small ship and the female who’d given him back his soul.
On the third cycle, Rien received a response.
“I have a contact,” she announced triumphantly, her voice cutting through the quiet hum of the ship’s systems. “Siku managed to get clearance from the Zaruxians.”
Madrian moved to the communication station. “Who is Siku?”
“Formercourtia, current rebel leader. She worked at Erovik, the brothel that one of your brothers operated. After he left with his Terian mate, the Axis installed some ‘uppityfekker’as director, and the entire staff ofcourtiasand assistants quit. They closed after that.” Rien flashed a satisfied grin. “Siku operates in the outer sectors, now, helping refugees escape Axis territory.” Rien’s fingers danced over her console. “She’s been in contact with the Zaruxians, including her former director, and was able to pass on a message for me.”
“Can we trust her?”
“Yes,” Rien said simply. “She provided coordinates for a rendezvous point.”
Nena joined them at the console. “How far?”
“Half a cycle if we use the space fold module,” she replied. “But the stealth cloakwillfail, leaving us vulnerable for a short time.”
