Page 112 of October
“I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me, or in our sex, I guess.” She shrugged a shoulder.
“I don’t want you to fake anything with me. If you don’t come, that’s okay,” Finley said.
“I know. I heard you earlier.”
“But, babe, if you never told anyone that, they couldn’t, I don’t know, get any better. They didn’t know to do anything different because they thought you–”
“I know. It wasn’t fair to them.”
“Or you,” Finley said. “You’ve always been in your head a little, haven’t you?” She tucked a stray strand of hair behind Molly’s ear. “It wasn’t just with me.”
“It was worse with you.”
“What if you used this?” Finley asked, holding up Molly’s favorite toy.
“I come with that one.”
“I know. I meant, what if you used it with me?”
“With you?”
“Yeah. Like, if you used it to get yourself there, but I’m kissing you or something.”
“I don’t have a problem coming outside normally. It’s not, like, a fast thing; it usually takes time, but I want you to touch me, Finley.”
“I will,” Finley said, leaning in. “I will touch you everywhere.” She kissed the corner of Molly’s mouth. “And when you’re ready, you can use this, at least the first time. Maybe it would help you get out of your head a little. We can work up to other stuff.”
“Other stuff?”
Finley nodded and said, “My fingers.” She kissed Molly again. “My mouth.”
“I want all of that.”
Finley smiled then and asked, “So, what do you think of my idea?”
“It’s bad that I’d need that, Finley. I–”
“No, it’s not,” Finley said, shaking her head. “Babe, I didn’t figure out how to touch myself until I was in my mid-twenties. I tried for years. I used my fingers inside and out. I, embarrassingly, tried rubbing against things. I bought my first toy, but it didn’t work very well for me, so I tried it… Well, differently than it was intended.”
“What do you mean?”
“Okay. Now, it’s my time to confess. No one knows this, Molls.”
“No one? Not even–”
“No. I was too embarrassed to tell her.”
“But you’re going to tell me?”
Finley smiled sweetly and said, “It was one of those rabbit things with the little ears at the end. I tried it a bunch of times, changing the batteries over and over again, and I’d get close, but it wouldn’t push me over the edge. No matter where I held it, how hard I pressed it, or how fast I moved it, I just couldn’t come. One night, I was so frustrated that I decided to put it on the corner of the bed.” Finley stood, took Molly’s toy, and placed it on the corner at an angle. “And I… Well, honestly, I humped it hard until I came.”
“You–”
“Yeah,” Finley replied and lowered herself down to the corner of Molly’s bed, rocking her hips a few times to imitate what she’d done.
“Oh,” Molly said, feeling her cheeks blush.
“Yeah, exactly. Embarrassing, but it worked. I bought another toy, and after a lot of trial and error, I figured out how to touch myself with my fingers to make myself come. It’s not easy for everyone, Molls, and there’s nothing wrong with needing to learn your own body or someone else’s, for that matter.”
