Page 75 of October
“That’s super helpful. Thank you!”
“Of course. Let me just get your info now, and I’ll give you a call back once I can get ahold of the other family.”
“Okay.”
Molly gave the woman her name and number, and when they hung up, she immediately went to her computer and got started on the application. Getting to the ‘why’ section that she was told about, Molly leaned back in her chair, grilled cheese cooling off on the plate by her computer, and tried to think about why she wanted this particular puppy. Then, she began typing.
For most of my life, I’ve had mild anxiety issues. I grew up with a father who struggled with them as well and often didn’t leave the house. I’ve been able to cover up my struggles for the most part, but there are days when trying to appear fine when I’m not becomes just too much to handle for me. When I met Wells at a puppy party, I felt an instant kinship with her. Here was this little puppy in a room filled with other puppies, who were all playing and jumping around the room, and she was just on a dog bed, sleeping and not caring about any of it. I think I fell in love with her then. She was just herself and didn’t seem to care about anything else around her. Then, she came over to me and the person I was there with, and she let us pet her and fell back asleep right there, on top of the person I was with. Wells stayed there for the entire time, and when we had to leave, I knew I needed to reach out to see about adopting her. I feel like we were supposed to be a family and that I need her in my life. I need that kind of self-assurance and calm, so Wells is the perfect companion for me. I hope you’ll strongly consider my application, and I promise to provide her with a happy and loving home.
Molly went on to explain that her best friend had a dog that Wells would be able to play with and that she knew the most popular dog walker and pet sitter in the city, namedroppingGwen in case they knew of her. She told them that she didn’t have to travel for work, was pretty much always home, and could alter her schedule as needed or enlist Gwen’s services to walk Wells during the day or if she had to work late. Molly hoped that would give her a leg up on the stiff puppy competition, and after re-reading every word and deciding that she’d done the best she could, she hit send.
Molly made it to her meetings and, at five, she closed her computer and went to her sofa, where she stared down at her phone. She still hadn’t texted Finley, but she knew she at least owed her that, so she pulled up her messages and sent her a short text telling her that she was fine and in for the night. She wasn’t sure why she added that last part, but she had hit send before she could stop herself.
Finley Storm: I don’t want to ask this because I know you want some space, but can I come over? It’s okay to say no.
Molly knew then why she had said that she would be in for the night. She was hoping for this kind of response from Finley. She needed to hear that Finley still wanted to do this, even though Molly had asked for some time. She knew it was wrong because she would tell her no, but she was still happy to see the message.
Molly Jewel: Not tonight, Fin. I’m just going to eat something for dinner, take a long bath, and go to bed early.
Finley Storm: Okay. Sleep well, Molls.
Molly hated that she was doing this to this woman. She pulled up the therapy app she hadn’t used in over a year and decided to see if there were any exercises that she could do to help manage what she was feeling before she could find a local doctor to meet with. It hadn’t ever been this bad, the feeling like the world was swirling around her too fast and she couldn’t keep up, and she knew she needed some help. Molly hadn’t had pride in the way of seeking help before; she just also hadn’t everfelt like something very important was happening, and she was going to miss out on it if she didn’t get herself together and soon.
???
The next day, she woke and tried to calm herself down by doing a breathing exercise recommended by the app. She had to go to work today, and that meant seeing Finley and possibly running into India. When she arrived at the parking garage, she pulled into a spot on a different floor, not being able to take the usual one she grabbed because it reminded her of Finley now. She checked her surroundings for India, who might be on the phone again, but found only other coworkers heading into the office, so she joined them and tried to pretend like everything was normal.
When she got to her desk, Finley gave her a smile and a nod but didn’t say anything, apparently trying to respect her request for some time, which Molly both hated and appreciated at the same time. She wanted Finley to talk to her, though, to grab coffee with her, to take her into the server room and give her the best kiss of her life. She didn’t want to be this way: worrying about not being ready for a relationship with Finley now that she could finally have it; not being able to stand up to India and tell her that it was over, and to leave Finley alone. She wanted so many things, but she didn’t think she was capable of having them.
So, instead of saying hello to the woman she was technically still dating, she went to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee on her own and ran smack into India, who was on her way out, holding a banana in her hand. Thankfully, she hadn’t had her own cup of coffee that would’ve spilled all over both of them.
“Shit,” India said. “Sorry.” Then, she looked up. “Oh, Molly.”
“Hi,” Molly said. “And I’m sorry. I was looking down,” she added, taking in India’s wardrobe, which was perfect and wrinkle-free as usual.
“It’s fine. No damage done,” India said. “Actually, can I talk to you for a few minutes?”
“Oh. I was just getting a cup of coffee.” Molly pointed behind her.
“I just wanted to apologize, Molly,” India said softly. “Not cause problems.”
Molly swallowed and gave a short nod. India nodded, too, and they walked over to a small sofa that was against a wall and nestled in a corner of the kitchen, where they could speak and not be interrupted. Molly waited for India to sit first before she followed, leaving as much space as she could between them.
“Finley said you overheard me on the phone with my sister yesterday, so I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were there. She called me right before I got inside, and I stayed out there to take the call.”
“That’s okay,” Molly said. “You can talk on the phone wherever you want.”
“Still, I wanted you to know that I get it now.”
“Get what?”
“You and Finley,” India said.
“What about me and her?”
“She really likes you. She defended your honor.” India chuckled. “And when I tried to kiss her the other night, she bolted as quickly as she could. She was repulsed at the idea of kissing me again. I’m not going to lie, that one hurt.” She shook her head slowly. “But she’s done with me. I get it now.”
“It’s only been a couple of dates,” Molly noted. “You two always get back together.”
