Page 108 of October
“Penny for your thoughts?” she asked as she approached. “Actually, no; your thoughts would be worth way more than a penny.”
Molly smiled up at her and patted the open space behind her, encouraging Finley to sit.
“Fine. But you’re leaning back against me so that I can hold you. Best I can do,” she joked.
Mollydidlean back into her, and Finley wrapped her arms around her as Molly’s back rested against her front.
“Everything okay?” she checked, kissing Molly’s neck.
“Does it bother you that I’m like this?”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know; anxious about those steps.Cleaning the house.”
Finley laughed a little and said, “I think you’re anxious because it matters, and that’s a good thing.”
“You’re not anxious about it,” Molly pointed out.
“Not in the same way you are, no, but I’m still anxious.” She kissed Molly’s neck. “Part of me is glad it happened because it got us to talk like this, but the other part of me wishes we hadn’t taken that step until you were ready for it. I want to live up to your expectations, Molls. I know I can’t be the fantasy, but I want to get as close to that as I can. I’m nervous I won’t be able to do that.”
“You shouldn’t be, though.”
Molly leaned her head back on Finley’s shoulder.
“Well, you shouldn’t worry about not being enough for me. I don’t want you to ever have to worry about that. I think you worry you’re not enough for me, but I worry that there’snot enoughofyou for me. I want to have everything with you, Molls.”
“Everything? We just started going out,” Molly said.
“I didn’t say I wanted it right now. I just know I feel it. I feel like I’m with someone; I’m not single. I know you called me yourdateearlier, and I let the girlfriend thing slip out, but that’s how it already feels to me. We’re shopping for puppy stuff together, and I’m planning on being part of your puppy’s life. That’s a big commitment.”
Molly laughed and said, “Thatisa big commitment, but you’re not moving in, Fin.”
“I was thinking we could talk about that in about a year or something,” she replied and kissed Molly’s neck again.
“That’s a long way off.”
“I know,” she said confidently. “And I feel it; I told you. Why do you think I knew for sure that it was done with India?”
“I know. I just… I worry that I keep getting in our way, and there are only so many times you’re going to be okay with that. I used to have a therapist. I went for a while, but it was a once-every-couple-of-weeks thing, mostly a check-in, and I had an app that I could use if I needed something immediate. I signed back up for it, and I was thinking about going back to therapy for my anxiety, but this morning, Juliet suggested that maybe the anxiety I’ve been dealing with recently, all the thoughts that swarm my brain, are because of you.”
“Just what a girl wants to hear; that she’s the cause of her date’s anxiety,” Finley joked.
“I don’t mean that it’s your fault. I mean it’s because I wished for this for so long, and now, my brain doesn’t know how to believe that it’s happening.”
Finley got an idea and suggested, “Let’s go back to your place.”
“I thought that was the plan.”
“No, I mean right now. We’ve done our part in cleaning up. India is talking to Logan, Rory, and Ava inside, and I don’t feel like I need to babysit her, so let’s just go.”
“You don’t want to see what everyone else is doing after this? It’s only seven.”
“Molls?”
“Yes?”
“Are you asking me that because your brain is telling you to stall because you don’t know what I’m going to want to do when we get to your apartment?”
