Page 28 of Far From Center
Aaru forbid. “I’ve seen your attempts at cleaning. I’d just end up re-washing the dishes anyway. Go get your shower. You cook. I clean. It’s the perfect division of labor.
She stood on tip-toes to kiss his cheek. “It is. And thank you.”
He finished the dishes, then sat and read one of her books while Nyalla completed her personal cleanliness routines. The book was quite interesting, about a human woman who had been captured when the ship she’d been traveling on was boarded by rapscallion pirates. Lucky for her, they didn’t seem inclined to kill her. Unluckily for her, the pirate captain appeared barely able to keep himself from raping the woman any time he was near. Gabe was quite concerned they’d not make it to port before the woman lost her virtue, especially when the deep breaths she constantly took apparently made her bosom rise and fall with a seductive lure that the captain struggled to resist. He’d just gotten to the part where the captain was about to kill a member of his crew for succumbing to the heaving bosoms and tearing the woman’s dress, when there was a knock on the door.
“I’ve got it,” Nyalla called as she headed toward the door. “Wait. Are you reading one of my books? Uhh, maybe we should buy you some different reading material.”
“Oh no, I’m quite enjoying this one,” he told her, carefully marking his place in the book. Don’t tell me the ending. I’m eager to discover for myself if the captain is able to restrain himself enough to gain Annette’s consent before he attempts penetrative intercourse with her.”
Nyalla made an odd choking noise, then clamped her lips together before turning to open the door. Terrelle bustled in, her arms full of bags. She came to an abrupt stop when she saw Gabe, her eyes doing the same downward journey as Nyalla’s had before breakfast.
“Fuck me. Why did you make me buy clothes? He needs to just go everywhere naked. A body that perfect shouldn’t ever be covered up.”
Gabriel spread his arms and looked downward at this human form he was stuck in for the foreseeable future. “Honestly, I have no idea why humans feel the need to cover their bodies. I understand the necessity for additional warmth in some climates, but when in the more temperate zones, clothing seems superfluous. No other mammal, or any animal, does this. I would refuse to comply with such ridiculous customs, but it’s important to blend in. And I’m told public nudity makes humans very uncomfortable and that I could possibly face incarceration.”
“Oh I totally agree with you about the silliness of human nudity laws,” Nyalla said. “The elves don’t have such issues with various body parts being visible. Clothing in Hel is a decoration, not for some ridiculous modesty standard.”
“Well, maybe that will change now that the elves are here,” Terrelle said, still staring at Gabe. “If so, that’s the only positive to their migration from Hel. I’m all in favor of public nudity. Especially when people look like G-man here.”
“Sadly that hasn’t yet come to pass.” Gabe took the bags from her hand and began to pull out various articles of clothing. There were several pair of pants that were so short the hems would come to above his knee. One additional pair of jeans. Two t-shirts, and four very colorful short-sleeved, button downs. There was also something that the tag said was a pair of swim trunks plus a dozen plaid boxer shorts and a packet of socks. From another bag he pulled out two pairs of footwear, shaded-lens glasses, and some toiletry items similar to what Nyalla already had in the bathroom.
“Your own toothbrush.” Nyalla waved it in front of him. “That way you don’t have to use mine and run it through the dishwasher. And this is a razor.”
He eyed the device. “It has a sharp blade between two bits of plastic and a handle. Is it a weapon?”
“A weapon against the horrible hipster trend of lumberjack beards.” She giggled then reached out to run her fingers over his cheek. “Don’t get me wrong, I love this scruffy look on you. It’s edgy. It goes great with that sexy scowl of yours. I just don’t want it to slide into beard territory, and I get the feeling if you don’t shave every day, you’ll be looking like you should be wearing a plaid flannel shirt and a pair of Doc Martens by the end of the week.”
“You’ll show me how to use it?”
There was a spark of something in her eyes, and he once again felt that pesky appendage twitch and stiffen.
“I will absolutely show you how to use it. Tonight, I’ll give you a shave. It would be my pleasure.”
Terrelle snorted. “It’s getting a bit too hot in here for me. Whatever fucking you guys are going to do, hurry it up. We’re supposed to meet the Gormand downstairs at La Mer tonight and I get the feeling that once you two get started, I won’t be seeing you outside the bedroom for weeks.”
Nyalla laughed. “Don’t worry. We have a busy day on the water planned. I’m not about to forget about the reason we’re here, either. I won’t make you two handle this alone. And I especially need you as back-up. Facing that Gormand all alone is unnerving.”
“You won’t be all alone,” Gabe told her. “I won’t let anything happen to you, even if these worthless demons abandon their post.”
“Hey!” Terrelle folded her arms across her chest and glared at him. “Who are you calling worthless? We’ll be there. And if anything happens,we’llprotect Nyalla. You just worry about making sure that pretty face of yours doesn’t get bruised.”
Gabriel gathered up the bags and headed into the bedroom. “No offense, but you’re an information demon, and the other one is a Low. I might be a human, but I’m better equipped to protect her than you are. Worthless or not, It’s your job to make sure she’s safe. You’ve been tasked with this, and I suggest you take it seriously. Because if Nyalla so much as suffers a paper cut, I’ll take it out of your hide. Understood?”
There was an odd smile on Terrelle’s face. “Understood. Very, very much understood.”
