Page 46 of The Morning Star
“I don’t know. There’s a lot going on right now.”
“You used to tell me about these things,” Gregory said. “You used to tell me about the things you were facing, to ask my advice about how to proceed. Lately I feel there is so much you are keeping from me.”
“You’re busy. And you don’t tell me everything either.”
“I took you to see the enforcer and the gate guardian. I share with you things that I don’t share with the Ruling Council because I love you. I wish you would share your troubles with me as you used to.”
And now I felt horribly guilty, but I didn’t want him to know about Samael until I was sure.
He turned to look at me, his eyes searching mine. “Is it because of what I said? That I doubted your ability to hold and rule Hel and its inhabitants? That wasn’t meant as a personal slight. I admire you, Cockroach. You have skills beyond what I can even fathom. But you are young, and the skills you have might not translate well into leading a group of demons and former angels. Recognizing that doesn’t mean I don’t respect and revere who you are.”
“That’s not it.” I looked down at my lap and picked at a loose thread on my jeans. “I’ve been tracking down who’s responsible for the enforcer deaths. I…there’s a lot that’s rumor and I don’t want to cause a panic until I’ve confirmed things, but there’s one bit of intel in particular I need to let you know.”
“Tell me.” His spirit-self rubbed against mine, his voice deep and soft.
“I interrogated a demon who I believe was tangentially involved in the enforcer deaths. He said it was a targeted move to get you to bring your strongest enforcers to the gates. My informant says that they are going to strike the gates all at once and kill the enforcers and gate guardians, depriving you of your best fighters as well as allowing them to bring a huge army from Hel.”
“Thank you for letting me know that.”
My revelation didn’t seem to get the reaction I’d expected. Gregory continued to rub along my spirit-self, hugging me against his side.
“You might want to prepare something in case this is true,” I insisted.
“I’ve already put some safeguards in place. With that energy signature on the dead enforcers, I felt this could possibly be just the top of the ice cube.”
“Tip of the iceberg,” I corrected. “I’m going to take care of this myself, in my own way. These demons are my responsibility. I can’t rely on you or the other angels for help. If I’m going to do this, I have to do it on my own. I wanted you to know so you could protect the gates, but I’ll handle the rest of it as the Iblis.”
“I know you will, but please know that you can still talk to me and share the burden. You can still use me as a sounding board and ask for my input. I have seen things in a new light after talking them over with you. I’d hoped that you would continue to do the same with me.”
Shit. I couldn’t tell him about Samael, about the note, about the other things that Caramort had said, about what Doriel said. Not yet. Not now. Hopefully not ever. And as for my other issue… I looked over at the mirror and frowned. Shit. Shit. I didn’t want him to know about the message from Remiel. If he thought Lux was at all in danger, or that someone might take the young angel away from him, Gregory would drop everything to protect the child. Matters were at a turning point right now. We were at a crucial period when he needed to concentrate on stabilizing things here. Remiel was in Hel. He was an Ancient. He was my responsibility.
“All I can say right now is that there’s an Ancient behind the enforcer killings, and I am close to figuring out who and stopping him and the demons following him. I’m trying to gather support in Hel, to get control so we can share this world as equals. I know you think that’s a long time in the future, but it needs to happen now. If we’re ever going to come together and have peace, we need to be on a level playing field. We can no longer be the Fallen, the banished. We can no longer be some lesser, unevolved beings that get smacked back across the gates into Hel, or killed. There needs to be a mutual respect, and that can only happen if I control Hel and those in it.” I looked up to see him still watching me, his face serious. “You don’t believe I can do that. I know you love and respect me, and all that other stuff, but you don’t see me as being a leader. That’s okay. I don’t see myself as being a leader either, but I need to be. So that’s what I’m going to become.
“I can’t discuss these things with you, or seek your advice in part because you won’t have any to give me. Or the advice you do give me won’t work. Where I’m going is somewhere you can’t see me ever journeying, that’s why I can’t discuss these things with you right now. Later, once I’m there, then I’ll go back to talking with you about my troubles and problems. Until then, this is a solo trip.” I reached out to touch his face. “I don’t want that to hurt you. I love you. I value your experience and wisdom. But right now, at this time, I know you won’t have the experience or wisdom to give me.”
He took my hand and brought my palm to his mouth to kiss, then lowered it, gripping my fingers with his own. “I understand.”
“Then let’s have sex,” I said with a grin.
“I must warn you that Lux is upstairs in your bed. I thought Nyalla and Gabriel could use some alone time without a young wide-eyed angel watching them.”
Ugh. I was a total free spirit when it came to sex, but the idea of screwing with a sleeping angel next to me wasn’t really a turn on. “The stables? There’s fresh hay.”
“Your demon-horse watches us. I feel as if he is judging me,” Gregory confessed. “By the way, Lux is quite concerned about the horses. We had to go out several times this evening to check on their well-being. He told me that there was a bad man in a movie who cut off a horse’s head and placed it in someone’s bed while they slept. What sort of movies are you showing him?”
“Just cartoons with happy unicorns and shows about sharing and kindness,” I lied. “How about the sofa? It’s a big sofa. It’s comfy. And if we’re really quick, we might finish off before some Low wanders in to raid the fridge and disturbs us.”
He leaned over and kissed me, and I pressed against him, my spirit-self caressing his as my hand snuck up under his polo shirt to run along the warm skin of his stomach. I heard the click of half a dozen doors locking at once, and the slide of windows being bolted.
“There,” Gregory whispered against my mouth. “If I’ve learned anything about your Lows, it’s that they can’t manage to open a locked door.”
I laughed, then pushed him down, scooting forward to lay on top of him. Then I lost myself to his touch, to the fire of him against and inside me. So lost, that I momentarily forgot about the blinking light on my mirror.
Chapter 14
When I woke up there were two messages on my machine. I tried not to stare at the blinking cabochons as Nyalla and I made breakfast for the three angels. Normally I would have insisted the guys cook while my girl and I relaxed with some coffee, but I’d sampled food that had been prepared by an angel before, and I didn’t want to repeat the experience. Neither did Nyalla. If Gabe was in charge of breakfast, we would have had kale and beet smoothies or some shit like that.
Instead we had omelets, with extra bacon for Lux who was a huge fan of the stuff. Taking after me, obviously. Nyalla had seen me eyeing the blinking mirror off and on all morning, and as soon as the dishes were done, she dragged Gabe out to take Lux to the park and introduce him to the human joys of swing sets and monkey bars. No sooner had they left than Gregory turned to me.
