Page 13 of Warmongers and Wands
Chapter 6
Bronwyn
Diebin had brought just about everything from my smashed truckexceptmy cell phone. I now had my purse and wallet, lipstick, a handkerchief, my keys, and my favorite pair of nippers.
Don’t judge. I was especially thrilled to see my nippers. I owned four sets, but these were the best ones and I really didn’t want to lose them. I’d been envisioning my tools scattered down the side of a mountain, my little trailer destroyed, my forge smashed beyond repair. Yes, tools can be replaced, but those tools that fit your hand just right and seemed to be formed just right are irreplaceable. You can buy twenty pairs of nippers, but you’ll never find that exactly perfect one ever again.
Oh, no. My forge. My trailer. Destroyed. Gone.
I cried thinking of my truck and the tools of my trade, forever ruined, broken and flung across the side of a mountain as we’d tumbled off that cliff. I was lucky to be alive, but here I was crying about my trailer and my tools.
Hadur didn’t seem to know what to make of my tears. He kept offering me more tea and sending Diebin back to my wrecked truck for whatever the raccoon could find. Eventually he did bring my cell phone, which had all of ten percent battery left. It didn’t matter. The cell signal down here in this cabin was nonexistent. If I didn’t have a broken leg, I probably could have climbed up somewhere and gotten a signal, butI had a broken leg. And Hadur couldn’t go outside of the perimeter of his summoning circle. And Diebin couldn’t operate a cell phone, let alone talk to anyone. Except perhaps Adrienne.
I wondered if Adrienne could understand animals over the phone, or was that just in person? I’d need to ask her once I got back home. Perhaps we could do an experiment where I called her from an animal shelter to see if she could communicate with the cats and dogs there via phone.WhenI got back home. Which didn’t look to be any time soon.
And there was another problem besides my being surrounded by random items from my truck and holding a non-functional cell phone. A serious problem. I problem I didn’t quite know how to solve. All the tea Hadur had been giving me made me need to pee.
There was clearly no bathroom in this cabin. Even if there was, I wasn’t sure I could get out of bed and hobble to one. Crutches? A bed pan? I needed to come up with a solution soon, or I was going to be wetting the bed, and that was a far more humiliating option then having this sexy demon help me pee in a frying pan.
“I need to get out of the bed,” I told Hadur.
He frowned down at my leg. “You have not healed yourself yet.”
“I know, but I’ll need to be up and moving around long before that bone heals. Can you put together some makeshift crutches? Long pieces of wood with a cross piece at top to go under my arms? They’ll steady my weight on the one leg so I can move around.”
He grumbled something under his breath about not understanding witches, then picked up a knife and an axe. “Stay in bed. Rest. I’ll be back with these crutches.”
I waited until he and the raccoon had left, then immediately tried to get out of bed. My right foot hit the floor, my knee stiff but cooperating. Then I tried to ease my left leg along the bed and onto the ground, hoping the splint and bandage thing the demon had put together kept my leg immobile.
I’m not gonna lie, it hurt like hell, but I didn’t feel like the broken bone was shifting or anything. Holding onto the bedpost, I slowly stood, keeping my weight on the right leg—the right leg with the bum knee.
This was insane. I stood, gripping the bedpost firmly, knowing that if my knee gave out, I was going down and that was going to be really, really bad. I was up, but that was the least of the challenges I’d face trying to take care of my bathroom needs. First, how the heck was I going to cross the room to get outside to pee? Secondly, I was still wearing my underwear. Scooting them down and squatting to relieve myself was most likely going to be beyond my athletic skills at the moment.
Take the underwear off? Pee, then somehow manage to get them back on? Or say screw the underwear and just be commando until someone came to rescue me? It’s not like this guy seeing an extra few inches of flesh was gonna send him over the edge. Perhaps Diebin could run into Walmart and get me some spare clothing. Maybe Hadur had an extra t-shirt around I could wear—one that was long enough to cover my naked ass.
I decided I should tackle one problem at a time, so I used the hand that wasn’t holding onto the bedpost for dear life to scoot down my underwear past my knees, then eased myself down on the bed and pulled my right leg out of them.
Step one—no underwear. Although having them dangle off the makeshift splint wasn’t the most dignified thing in the world, it would have to do. I got myself upright again and eyed the distance between the bed and the door.
I was so not going to make that. Was there a bowl or something I could use as a bedpan? A roll of paper towels I could stack up to pee on? Why the heck couldn’t this demon have indoor plumbing, or have his raccoon steal a camp toilet from somewhere? Frying pan or door. Frying pan or door. I needed to make a decision soon or I was going to be peeing right here by the bed.
Door. I might be stupid, but I couldn’t stand the thought of peeing in a pan that was most likely going to be used to prepare my dinner.
The path to the door was long and torturous because I didn’t have crutches and couldn’t hop my way across the room. Instead I had to hug the walls and scant furniture, making my way a few tiny inches at a time. Each shuffle forward jolted my left leg and sent a fresh wave of pain through me. By the time I reached the door, I was panting and sweaty. At least I hoped that was sweat and not pee trickling down my leg.
The door didn’t have a knob or anything conventional in the way of an opening device—just a leather strap. I grabbed it and tugged, not realizing the door was quite so heavy or that something installed by a demon in the woods without a licensed homebuilder to assist might not open smoothly and evenly. I pulled. It resisted, then flung open. I teetered, lost my balance, and fell to the floor.
Thankfully I’d landed on my right side. Although I jarred my splinted leg enough that I cried out from the pain. I probably peed. Just a little. I was going to pretend it was sweat.
I lay there on the ground, which gave me a clear view of the books and magazines stacked next to the table. Popular Mechanics. G.Q. Tiger Beat. I guess if you’ve got a raccoon in charge of providing your reading selection, you’re gonna get the occasional Tiger Beat. The books were just as eclectic. One on decorative mosaic containers. The Stephen King books I’d seen from the bed. A couple of Patterson thrillers. Gone Girl. Little Women. The Fifty Shades books.
Hadur burst through the open doorway, stopping and staring down at me.
“What…what happened?”
“I’m not into that stuff.” I pointed to the Fifty Shades books. “Just thought you should know.” Not that the demon was probably thinking sexy-times with me sprawled across the floor in my own pee. Just a little pee. Probably sweat.
“You screamed.”
