Page 16 of Fiends and Familiars
Adrienne
Ibrewed an entire pot of coffee the next morning, knowing I was going to need it just to stay awake all day. The squirrels had been a nervous wreck all night, racing all over my room and making all sorts of noise. They even woke Drake up. He wanted to herd them out into the living room and shut the bedroom door, but I felt a bit sorry for them. Just as Rhoid had been afraid of the dog-thing, I knew the other squirrels were too. How many times in their lives had they been chased up a tree by dogs? And kicking them out of the bedroom would only make their anxiety worse. They seemed to get some comfort from my presence, especially Rhoid who kept trying to get under the covers or squeeze under my pillow. With all their noise I probably only got four hours of sleep, and I wasn’t the sort of girl who did well on less than her usual eight.
Um, and then there was the sex.
If Saturday’s night’s dream had been sexy, last night’s had been downright orgasmic—as in three or four times orgasmic. That horned, fiery-eyed demon had been back, and although I awoke very satisfied, I was still exhausted.
Wow, I really needed to get laid. Not necessarily a boyfriend, because I wasn’t sure I really had the time for an actual relationship. Friends with benefits would sure be nice though. Or just the benefits. If the last two nights were any indication, I was sex starved and desperate for a hot night of mattress aerobics. The dream stuff was great, but how long would that last? What if my unconscious sexual exploits stopped and I began dreaming about boring stuff like roofing repairs, spoiled lettuce in the fridge, my truck breaking down midweek twenty miles from home? I’d had two nights of getting it on. I didn’t want it to stop.
So a relationship—preferably a casual one—needed to move up higher on my to-do list. Although that might be a problem when I was sharing my bedroom with a vulture and four squirrels—especially when the squirrels had a habit of chattering all night long and darting around as they looked out the windows.
I think part of the reason they’d been so upset was that there had clearly been at least one canine in the garage last night. I’d peeked when I woke up, and hadn’t seen any of them in there, but the bone and the eggs were gone, the water bowls had been drunk from, and the beds and blankets were clearly slept on. Maybe with the food I’d left, they hadn’t felt the need to be hunting all night, and had finally gotten some rest. It made me smile to think that I’d done something nice for the poor hounds who’d probably not had anyone be nice to them their entire lives.
Leaving the garage door open a bit, I emptied my fridge of luncheon meat, refilled the water bowls, and straightened the blankets and beds. Then I made sure the ward-stone I’d moved to the doorway into the house was in place, and locked back up again. I felt bad using physical and magical means of securing the house from the hounds, lumping them in with all other intruders, but a girl couldn’t be too careful. I could protect myself, but I wouldn’t be here all day, and just as I wanted to set safeguards on myself and my belongings when I was sleeping, I felt I should continue to do the same when I was away. Trusting these dog-things with my garage was one thing. I didn’t want to come home tonight to find my house had been trashed, and my fridge was empty and tipped over onto the kitchen floor.
That done, I wolfed down some breakfast, poured the extra coffee in a thermos, then began to load up my truck for the trip up to Accident to assist with Clinton’s pack’s new residence. Hornets meant I might be relocating a nest, so I made sure to pack a long stick with a hook, a bunch of strong twine, and a small saw. The badger might be tricky, so I threw a few humane traps into the back. Badgers weren’t usually seen on the east coast, and I was curious why one was living here as well as why he’d taken up residence in one of the mountains that were inside the wards of Accident. They liked grassy meadows, not forested mountains. They liked to dig burrows, which wasn’t an easy task in the rocky mountain ground. Admittedly there would be lots of food for them there. Mice, voles, and birds were plentiful as well as insects.
I grabbed a few other things from the house, and got ready to head out. The squirrels dashed past me before I could close the door to the house. I watched in surprise as they jumped into my car and piled into the back seat.
“So did you all change your minds?” I asked them. “Would you rather live in the woods instead of my house?”
I’ll admit I was a bit hurt by the idea. They were a total pain in my rear. They’d eaten all my almonds, had kept me awake all night, had interrupted that amazing sex dream Saturday night. I should be relieved that they wanted to ditch me and go live in the woods, but instead I was insulted.
For once, Rhoid was the one who spoke up, telling me that they had every intention of living in my house. They were just afraid to stay there alone, so they were going to accompany me on my travels today.
Now Iwaswishing they were going to live in the woods.
“Guys, get back in the house,” I said. “The doors are locked. The windows are locked. There are magical wards in place. It’s safe there. It’s not safe to come with me today. I’ve got to relocate a badger. Badgers eat squirrels.”
They exchanged a volley of chatter, arguing the best option. Finally Rhoid twitched his tail, letting the others know that he was the one deciding this and that they were going with me. It seemed they had faith in my ability to protect them from hungry badgers as well as anything else that might come to attack them—including the hound.
I didn’t have time to argue. “Fine. Just stay out of my way and don’t disturb me when I’m driving.”
Squirrels evidently have a different idea about what constitutes disturbing someone, because they spent most of the drive asking me what I was going to get them for lunch, if they would have an opportunity to forage while I was doing my work, and if we could all watch movies and eat popcorn again tonight—but not that bird movie again. That was too scary.
We all headed out, making a quick stop at the Starbucks drive-through to get a chai latte for me, a pumpkin scone for Drake, and some vegan bagels for the squirrels. The leaves were just starting to change at the higher elevations and I rolled down the window as we headed past the wards to breathe in the smell of fresh-cut hay, of late berries ripening in the sun, of pine needles carpeting the forests.
Home. Days like this I ached to be back in Accident with my family just down the street. Everything was familiar there. Everyone knew my name.
“I need to just give it time,” I said to Drake. “I’ll build memories in my new home and neighborhood, and before long it will feel just as comfortable as Accident.” Of course, the people down my street might not be thrilled that their new neighbor had squirrels and a vulture living in her house, and a dog-thing eating scraps in her front yard every evening. I’d have to organize a big Halloween party or something and have Glenda cater it. After that, no one would care if I had elephants living in my yard or not. Glenda’s food had a way of making everyone happy. Combine that with free beer and all sorts of witchy decorations, and hopefully I’d be accepted into the neighborhood.
The vulture clacked his beak.
“You’re right. Babylon has been living outside the wards since she got out of college and she’s happy. She made friends and has local hangouts where people know her. Plus it’s nice not having to commute two hours each day.”
Drake hissed and I laughed.
“Yes, I’m looking forward to that fall party. Should I make pumpkin bars with cream cheese frosting to take?” Glenda was the chef of the family, but I could manage a simple dessert. Besides, it would probably be rude to show up to a party uninvitedandempty handed.
The vulture eyed me with a nod of his head. If he’d had eyebrows, he would have been wiggling them.
I sighed. “I’d like to meet someone, but right now my priority is making friends and settling into my new home. If the right guy comes along, then awesome. If not, then that’s okay.”
Heck, at least I had my dream-demon. And if he stopped coming around, there was that vibrator I’d stashed in the back of the drawer in my bedside table.
The squirrels chattered from the backseat and I listened in, amused at their ideas of what an ideal mate for me would be. Seems he should have a very full, bushy tail, a thick gray coat, and be especially skilled at gathering nuts and berries, and evading dogs.
Especially hounds, Rhoid added.They’re very good at tracking you down. If one of them catches your scent, you’d be lucky to get away.
