Page 38 of Fiends and Familiars
Adrienne
Ireally didn’t want to go to this party, but I knew Babylon would drag me out by my hair if I tried to cancel on her. Besides, I needed to get out of the house and get my mind off of everything.
I’d taken Rhoid aside and told him about the meeting. He was elated that he’d been given a reprieve, but knew very well that Satan’s minions were going to be waiting for him to come out of the house so they could arrange for his “accidental” death. That was a problem. I didn’t exactly want to have the squirrel living inside my house for the rest of his life, and judging from his response, he didn’t care to be effectively imprisoned here either. Maybe I could build a little warded squirrel addition onto my house and enclose part of the yard? Rhoid could stay out there with his little buddies eating peanuts and hopping from cleverly created obstacle to obstacle.
It didn’t sound fun to me, but this was all the squirrel’s choice. He could stay and be a self-imposed prisoner in my house. Or he could leave and take his chances. I had a feeling that, in spite of the terrors of hell, Rhoid was thinking about choosing option number two. But not tonight. Tonight he and his buddies were going to chill safely behind the wards of my house while I drowned my romantic sorrows in beer at a bonfire and corn maze.
Rhoid was settled in on my couch, but I hadn’t expected his friends to disagree with the plan. It seems they were looking forward to all the goodies a corn maze had to offer, and they were upset that Drake would be coming with me while they weren’t.
Finally I had to inform my vulture familiar that he couldn’t come. It was that or risk a temper-fueled squirrel destruction of my house. To console Drake and the squirrels about being left behind, I made sure several bowls of food were out, and put the television on. They were arguing which channel to watch and fighting over the remote when Babylon picked me up. With my luck I’d come home to find the remote destroyed and the television stuck on endless infomercials.
I wasn’t going to let it ruin my night. I could always unplug the television and pick up a ten-dollar universal remote tomorrow morning if I had to. Tonight wasn’t going to be me worrying about my house or the animals, it was going to be about meeting new people, not thinking about a sexy demon who’d betrayed me, and trying to enjoy myself.
Locking the door and setting the ward, I handed Babylon two of the dog food bowls, and grabbed another in one hand and the pumpkin bars I’d made for the party in the other. “Here. Help me put these bowls out on the lawn, will you?”
“So you’re feeding all the neighborhood strays, are you?” She shook her head and placed one of the bowls by the garage.
“Just these dogs that have been coming by.” I’d checked my wards repeatedly throughout the day but none of the hellhounds, including Yeth, had been by. It hurt. Yes, I’d commanded their physical bodies, then taken control of their minds, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t attached to the big, hairy drooling boys. The thought that they’d gone back to hell when my spell wore off and never seemed to have given me another thought hurt.
And Yeth… I thought we’d become friends. I thought he’d side with me against Ty, or at least sneak out of hell to visit, to let me know that in spite of what had gone down, we were still good. I’d thought that if he didn’t care one bit about me, he might care about the frozen bits of liver I had bought just for him.
I’d thought wrong. But still here I was, putting out food and hoping that maybe I could still be friends with these hellhounds. What an idiot. They were part of Ty’s pack. They’d probably been with him by his side for thousands of years. There was no way a few days of eating kibble and scraps in my front yard could compete with a very long and hellish bond.
“Are you sure you should be feeding stray dogs, Addy?” Lonnie asked as she sat down one of the food bowls. “What if they have rabies? What if your neighbors shoot them? Or call the cops? We’re not living in Accident anymore. You have to do things by human rules out here, not witch rules.”
She had a point. I wasn’t county Animal Control, but I did make my living dealing with animals. Given their somewhat alarming appearance, I was concerned that anyone else who saw them might shoot them on sight. Could a hellhound die? Be injured by bullets? Or poison? Be caught in an Animal Control cage? Maybe it was for the best that they stayed in hell. I couldn’t exactly have a dozen hellhounds chilling on my front yard and not end up with angry neighbors and probably a big fine from the HOA.
But I missed them, and I missed Ty, so I left the bowls filled with food and headed to a party.
Lonnie chatted about her day at work as she drove. I gave her an abridged version of what had gone down in Cassie’s office, careful not to mention Ty. She obviously realized that was a subject we were not going to discuss tonight, and instead told me about the people I’d meet at the party, including a guy she wanted to introduce me to.
Derrick. Six foot one. Dark hair. Dark eyes. The chiseled jaw of a superhero. Owned his own business. Single after a breakup a few months back. I nodded along as she sang Derrick’s praises, trying not to think about a sexy demon who sprouted horns, breathed fire, and drove me to ecstasy with a forked tongue.
We pulled into the farm, past the house and barn and a line of trucks and cars, to park next to a stock trailer. The setting sun had turned the sky a swirling mix of orange and gray as we walked through the mown hayfield to the bonfire.
Lonnie introduced me to a few people on the way in, then we grabbed a beer and made the rounds. Within half an hour I was chatting away with a group of guys about termite control while Lonnie was off helping with the food. Termite control probably wasn’t the most party-worthy topic, but Derrick had mentioned an issue that had cropped up on an inspection for a home he had an offer on, and suddenly we were all about baits, termiticides for barrier and soil treatment, and more organic methods.
He was cute—really cute. If I wasn’t moping over a demon right now, I might have tried flirting a little.
“You’re really a wildlife control person?” Ralph grinned at me. “Like those guys on TV who wrestle crocodiles and snakes? Not like the guys who just go around your house and spray poison?”
I shuddered. “There’s no reason for that poison. Insects, rodents, birds, you name it—they can all be removed from a home without subjecting them, yourselves, your family, or your pets to harmful substances.”
That was the line I gave when someone wanted me to throw down bait for mice. Clients were often skeptical, but I got results. Of course, I got them with magic, but no one this side of Accident’s wards knew that.
“So for rodents you use those humane traps?” Derrick was looking skeptical. “When you let them go, don’t they just head right back inside the house? And how does that work for termites?”
“I do use humane traps when I need to, and I make sure to relocate the animals as far away from homes as possible. As for insects, I have a method where they will move their activity to a suitable place. For termites, that’s usually a rotted tree trunk that I put up for them.”
Ralph snorted. “And when they’re done with that, they go right back to the house and you get to collect another fee.”
“No, they won’t ever return to your house.” I held up my hand. “Money back guarantee.”
“How do you do that?” Derrick asked.
“Magic.” I winked and they laughed. “It’s a trade secret. If I let everyone know, all my competitors would be taking my clients away.”
None of my competitors could do what I did, but Ralph and Derrick didn’t need to know that.
