Page 46 of Fiends and Familiars
Typhon
Ileft Addy’s, went straight to hell, then cloaked myself in the form I assumed when I was presenting myself as Master of the Hounds. Gathering my pack together, I went straight to the top.
Satan was relaxing in a giant pool of hot lava, a drink in one hand and a copy of the Wall Street Journal in the other. The paper kept catching fire from its proximity to the lava. Each time the ruler of hell would curse, shake the paper, and blow the fire out. I wondered how many articles he’d not been able to finish because the continuation had burned away.
“Well, if it isn’t Typhon, the demon who lost Faust’s soul.” Satan grinned at me once I’d been announced, and waved me over to the pool. The paper vanished, replaced by a lit cigar. “With all your hellhounds, I was a bit surprised to have Abraxas be the one to bring him in. Although I shouldn’t have been surprised. That guy’s got talent. Promise. He’s going places.”
“Abraxas didn’t find Faust. I did. My hellhounds located him, and I was working to retrieve him.” I shut my mouth, knowing better than to accuse Abraxas of swooping in and stealing Faust’s soul from under my nose. Satan didn’t take kindly to tattletales, and he didn’t care who got the job done or how, as long as it gone done. If I delayed, and Abraxas got the upper hand, that would only raise the other demon higher in Satan’s estimation.
Satan puffed on the cigar and nodded. “So I hear. My son told me you were closing in on our famous escapee. Some of the credit does go to you, although youwerethe one who lost him.”
I gritted my teeth, detesting that I’d forever have that blot on my record.
Satan saw my expression and threw back his head with a laugh that shook the firmament and sloshed lava from the edge of the pool. “I can’t completely blame you for that one. Faust is one tricky bastard, and he had help from demons I’d thought I could trust. The fact that he escaped is as much my fault as it is yours.”
Satan must be in a rare happy mood if he was actually accepting the blame for anything. I played along, protesting that he shouldn’t take any responsibility for that. Faust had been my responsibility, and if I’d trusted the wrong people, that was my fault as well.
He waved the hand holding the cigar. “That’s all in the past now, Typhon. Faust is in our hands. Now I just need to think of the right place for him to go for his eternal punishment.”
“And that, my Lord Satan, is why I am here.” My hounds came forward to sit by my side, their eyes glowing, their fangs dripping a viscous liquid that sizzled when it hit the rocky floor. “No one in hell is as motivated as I am when it comes to Faust’s punishment. It’s personal for me. He escaped under my watch, and that’s something I feel compelled to punish with my very own hands.”
Satan’s eyes lit with orange sparks, brighter and fierier than the flame at the end of his cigar. “I’m intrigued, Typhon, but Abraxas has asked to be the one to punish Faust. And after all, heisthe one who brought the reprobate back to hell.”
“And left a damned mess in his wake that I’m having to deal with,” an angry voice boomed from behind me. I didn’t have to turn to know that Lucien had joined us. He was the only one in hell who spoke to Satan in such a way, and the only one who could stride right in the devil’s personal quarters without being announced.
Lucien stopped in front of his father. “There was a reason Typhon held back on grabbing Faust. Issues in the contract for Faust’s soul had come to light and they needed to be clarified before we proceeded. Abraxas jumped the gun. I’m in the mood to hoist him up on the rack right beside Faust.”
Satan’s eyebrows shot up. “Such temper, Lucien. It suits you. But I also appreciate bold action that gets results and Abraxas has demonstrated such bold action.”
“Yeah, at the expense of our reputation.” Lucien’s reply had his father pausing mid-sip of his drink. “The contract had loopholes. If it comes out that we can’t be counted upon to abide by our own deals, to withhold action until the legalities are clarified, then our annual numbers will suffer. Humans will be reluctant to sell their souls if the deal they strike might not be upheld due to the whim of some demon who decides bold action is more important than keeping to our binding agreements.”
Satan sucked in a breath, setting his drink to the side of the lava pool. “Did we wrongfully collect a soul? What did the contract bind us to do or not do?”
The leader of hell had reason to be concerned. Wrongfully collecting and/or detaining a soul against the contract both parties had signed had huge repercussions. There would be an audit. There would be an oversight committee. Angels would get involved on behalf of the soul. Lucien’s grandfather himself might get involved. No one wanted that, least of all Satan who hadn’t been on speaking terms with his father since he’d stormed out of heaven so long ago, taking half the family business along with its assets and employees.
“We areverylucky,” Lucien shook his head, as if he couldn’t believe how lucky the denizens of hell truly were in this matter. “Faust’s soul is indeed destined for hell, but it is only ours when he is deceased. Thus when he escaped and was resurrected as a squirrel, he no longer belonged to hell and should have been free from pursuit until after his death.”
Satan let out a relieved breath. “Well, no one needs to know that we were pursuing him. And as he’s dead now, the point is moot. He’s dead for the second time, and upon his death his soul reverts to hell. Now we just have to make sure the slippery bastard doesn’t manage to get resurrected again.”
“Normally I would agree, father, but Abraxas has put the whole thing in jeopardy. In his rush to claim Faust and the glory of capturing him, he has put us at grave risk of a complaint and an investigation.”
Satan sat up taller, tossing his cigar into the pool of lava. “What the hell do you mean? He grabbed the squirrel, killed it, and collected the soul. That might have gone a bit over the line of the contract, but that little fact will stay in hell. Who’d complain? Faust? If the oversight committee listened to every whining soul who claimed they were innocent and shouldn’t be here, they’d be buried in cases. And if any humans saw, then they’d just think some guy killed a squirrel. It happens all the time. No one is going to go running to heaven about a squirrel.”
“Abraxas broke through a witch’s wards, destroyed her house, and took an animal, a soul, that was currently under her protection,” Lucien snapped. “That witch complains, we’re going to be buried in internal affairs shit for centuries. They’ll find the loophole in the contract. They’ll audit every contract we’ve done for the last two millennia. They’ll probably fast-track Faust up to heaven.”
“No!” Satan’s bellow shook the room once more. A two-inch crack appeared along the floor at my feet. “Faust cannot go to heaven! He’s ours. He’s escaped us once. I won’t allow him to escape again.”
Lucien shrugged. “This wouldn’t have been a problem if Abraxas had just waited instead of trying to showboat the whole thing.”
“But it was just an early collection,” his father argued. “Faust’s soul was ours. We just moved the timeline up a bit.”
“Normally that would be a minor infraction,” Lucien agreed. “But the contract both Faust and our representative signed clearly states his soul is only oursafterhis death. As his living soul was technically not ours, there could legally be no early collection. It’s bad, Father. This is going to be a huge mess once it comes out—and unfortunately it’s going to come out.”
Satan ground his teeth. “I hate audits. I hate oversight committees. I don’t want a bunch of angels pawing throughmycontracts, overturningmydecisions regarding souls based on some legal technicality. What can we do? What if we get rid of the witch?”
The fire in my blood turned to ice. No one was going to harm Addy. No one.
I forced my inner turmoil aside and tried to appear as if I were interested only in protecting hell’s interests. “Lord Satan, she has six witch sisters—one of which is mated to your son. Getting rid of the witch would cause even more problems.”
