Page 40 of Grumpy Pucking Orc
“Of course. As well as my hand-axe.” He smirked.
I tilted my head, my eyes roaming all over his body. “Where are you keeping this axe? And why do you have it? Do you need to chop firewood in the middle of Baltimore? Are there random trees that need felling?”
“This is my hand-axe.” He reached between his legs. “It is not just a weapon for close-range fighting, or a tool to cut trees. A hand-axe is sometimes a male body part meant for pleasure and breeding.”
Oh. Naughty innuendo. And how typical that a guy would refer to his cock as a weapon.
“So I’m bringing a knife to an axe-fight?” I waved the words away as soon as I saw his confused look. “Never mind.”
“I hope to use my hand-axe later,” he teased. Then he took off his shirt, tossing it on the table on top of his scabbard.
My brain completely derailed. The guy was fucking huge. I’d known this from standing next to him and from leaning over him at my office, but seeing his naked arms, shoulders, and chest so close brought it all home to me. Humans would need to dedicate a substantial percentage of their waking hours to attain this orc’s level of muscle mass. Actually, humans would probably need pharmaceutical help to be this buff. And they’d need to be severely dehydrated to look as cut and defined as the muscles Ozar was sporting. The guy was just a giant wall of sculpted granite, and I couldn’t stop looking. My eyes traced the expanse of green skin, the scar that cut a diagonal across his ribs, the sprinkling of ebony hair that veed into a line that vanished at the pants slung low on his hips.
“Should I take offmyshirt?” I finally managed to ask.
“If you do, then we will be doing something other than a knife-fightinglesson.”
There was a hopeful note in his voice that made me grin. “Later,” I told him. “When you get your hand-axe out.”
He smirked, and I couldn’t help but eye the bulge that strained the fly of his pants. It grew under my scrutiny, and I knew if I didn’t steer this in a different direction, we were going to end up naked and in bed within the next ten minutes. Or less.
Did I want that? I did, but I barely knew this guy, and any time I’d rushed physical intimacy it seemed to drastically accelerate the end of a budding relationship. Not that my relationships where sex had been delayed fared any better.
“So, what do we do? Just start stabbing until someone begs for mercy?” I tried to twirl the knife around my fingers and ended up holding the blade. Good thing it was rubber.
I was kidding but Ozar seemed to seriously consider my suggestion.
“If you were trapped and had no other options, that approach might be good,” he commented. “An attack from a small human female might surprise enough to disable or kill if you planned your strike well.”
“Then—” Wait. What had he said? What had he called me? “Did…did you just call me afemale?”
He froze. His eyes widened. “Yes.” He drew the word out cautiously. “Youarea female. A human female.”
I bristled. I might have snarled a little. “I am awoman. Not a female. Woman.”
He took a step back. “It is the same thing. A female bears young. I may not know much of human culture but there are males and females. There was a time when it was not uncommon for an orc to take a female human for a bride.”
“Stop saying that word.” It all came out through grittedteeth. I was ready to stab him, except the rubber knife I held wouldn’t do anything. Was this really how he saw women? Just females to breed and bear offspring?
Ozar held up his hands, dropping the rubber knife. His eyes grew even wider. “I am sorry, Jordan. I am very sorry. What am I saying wrong? Please tell me why you are so angry.”
Sanity edged out my fury. He didn’t know. He truly didn’t know. This wasn’t a red flag, it was at best a pale yellow one.
I sucked in a big breath and slowly blew it out. “The term ‘female’ is scientifically correct, but carries negative social connotations. It should be used for animals, not human women. When you call us, callmea female, it makes you sound like one of those incels.”
He frowned. “Incels?”
Ugh. How did I explain this? “Men who are involuntarily celibate. They think they are entitled to have any attractive young woman they want and are angry and bitter that they cannot have any woman they choose. They think that women owe them sex and fidelity because they are men. They are arrogant, controlling assholes who offer nothing to any relationship because they feel that men are superior to women and that they don’t need to do more than maybe provide minimal food, clothing, and shelter. They feel that women should act as servants and sex slaves to them. They call women females, because it degrades us, makes us on the level of an animal.”
“I am not this incel male. I am an orc. The word we use in our language translates to ‘female’ in our English app. I did not know it would cause insult.”
Of course he didn’t. I was overreacting, jumping to the worst conclusion because in the past, I’d made excuses for aman’s bad behavior and ended up hurt. It wasn’t fair for me to think the worst of Ozar based on my past horrible dating choices.
“So…all human…women are to be called women. But others are females?” He asked, tilting his head in curiosity. “Demons, shifters, vampires, and elves are females?”
“No.” I wrinkled my nose in thought. “Any sentient beings should be referred to as men and women. Unless they are non-binary. That’s probably a lot to go into right now. Just remember that ‘male’ and ‘female’ are words only used for animals.”
He nodded. “I will remember.”
