Page 108 of Warrior's Reign
“Fuck Lohail. And fuck you too, Eredan.”
She felt herself fracturing. Years of longing followed by weeks of waiting for him to come to her. Hope followed by disappointment and wondering if the connection she’d felt with him had been all in her head. Then as her suspicions grew that the male she loved had been here all along and for whatever reason simply hadn’t made himself known. . .she’d stuffed it all inside. She had a job to do, and she didn’t want to make a fool of herself.
But then hehadanswered, in his roundabout fashion. Whatever it was that kept him from fully admitting to her who he was—it had to do with this place. The reason he’d once been a part of this place, the reason he’d taken a Vow of Silence. And even now he was trying to shut her out.
His eyes flared, the blue irises shimmering bright. “At your pleasure,yada’ami.” He gave her a thin smile. “You asked me once—sweetly. Do you recall?”
Reign laughed. “So you’re not above striking below the belt. Silent, my ass.” She stepped forward, bumping into his chest, craning her neck back to continue the stare down. “Does everyone know you’re a fraud? What was the Vow of Silence for, Eredan? Repentance for all of this?” She waved an arm, encompassing the room, but they both knew what she meant. She lowered her voice to match his croon. “What Breaks in Silence did you think you needed to atone for, Vykhan? What did you and your loverdo?”
He stiffened, hands seizing her upper arms in a vise like grip, his fingers digging into her flesh. Pain, then he released her, hands flexing.
“Don’t,” he warned quietly. “You don’t know what you’re courting. My Silence is already challenged. I—don’t want to hurt you, Reign.”
“Do you really think you could?”
He stared at her, gaze absent any challenge. “I couldbreakyou. You ask what I wished to atone for. You don’t really want to know.” He paused. “Idon’t want you to know. I want you to know me as the male I am becoming. The warrior you deserve as mate and father of your heirs.”
Was he insane? “You’re already so much more than I deserve. It will take me decades of work and training to grow into your equal.”
He shook his head, placing a hand gently over her heart. “Who you are, the core of you, is already much stronger than I ever was. You are my equal in every way that matters. The training, your skills. . .that will come in time. Did you think I chose you on a whim?” Now the bitter amusement was reflected back at himself. “I am selfish. If I was a better male, I would allow you to find another. But I understood your value when I first saw you. And you don’t know how hard it was for Eredan not to take you when you fell in love with him.”
“You mean with you. Eredan and Vykhan are the same person.”
He hesitated, but didn’t deny her. At least he wasn’t that far gone into his tiresome self-loathing. “You don’t really know what I was, how I could hurt you. I can’t bring myself to tell you either. Inevitably, the monster will slip the leash from time to time. You seem to call to that side of me as much as the other. If I didn’t think you could survive me, I would have knifed myself in the heart. I don’t know of any other way I could have avoided eventually giving in.”
The words, spoken without bravado or taunting, chilled her a little. The thin edge of pain and regret saddened her. Who had told him that he had to be perfect? She didn’t think it was his parents, at least not on purpose. Warm Aanyah, and Dozian with his dry humor.
So what Breaks? There were many things she could understand and even forgive, but some lines should never be crossed and if he had. . .
“I don’t think it’s as bad as you think it is,” she said, voice gentle. She lifted a hand to his face. “Did you rape anyone? Harm any children?”
“No.” He didn’t blink at the questions.
“Well, we’re good then.”
He smiled, pity mingled with amusement, and nuzzled her palm. “You’re a sweet child.”
“Listen, we don’t have to start flinging insults at each other.” Reign ran her tongue around her teeth, wondering if she should ask the M question—did shereallywant to know?
“Did you kill anyone who didn’t deserve it?”
Vykhan took longer to answer this time. She lowered her arm.
“Eredan, are you serious?”
He lifted a hand, shaking his head. “No. The answer is no.”
“You took a long time to say it.”
“It is a question I often ask myself.”
Reign needed to think. The situation didn’t lend itself to thinking, not with her warring needs and desires. She rubbed her face with her hands.
“Fine. The past is the past. If you want to whip yourself over it, I suppose that’s just you doing you. What I want to know is. . .” she dropped her hands. “Why?” She hoped the break in her voice wasn’t obvious. “Did Numar tell you that I was looking for you?”
He knelt on one knee, taking her hands in between his own. “I knew,yada’ami.”
She yanked them away, glaring. “And all these weeks you knew I was waiting, and you were there the entire time, watching me.”
