Page 58 of First Comes Orc, Second Comes Baby
“Lavender,” she murmured, noting that no one else had a beverage. She paused, then handed it back.
“Bring forth the table,” Regine said in her rich, ominous voice.
Charlotte watched as the stage was set. Someone brought out a folding banquet table and white tablecloth. Milgrida helped drape it over, then stepped back as everyone turned expectantly towards the eldest Orcess emerging out of the forest where she’d disappeared moments before. She paced up the path, a laden tray balanced steadily between her hands.
“Cupcakes,” Charlotte squealed. She turned to Milgrida. “You said there wouldn't be cupcakes!”
The elder Orcess stopped in front of the table and slowly lowered the silver tray.
Nine fist sized cupcakes, sans wrapper, of vanilla and chocolate and strawberry, topped with mounds of colorful, fluffy frosting returned Charlotte's stare. Or she imagined they did, anyway. She swiped the corner of her mouth with the back of her hand just to make sure she wasn't drooling.
“This is a test of courage,” the Orcess said in a kind, but gravelly voice.
Charlotte gave the table a perplexed look, but predictably it said nothing. “Well, you already said that and I think I understand now. But I don't think one cheat day will hurt me that much. I can be brave.”
The elder gave Charlotte a long, amused stare that was a touch too grim for her own liking.
“There are nine cupcakes on the tray,” Regine said. “Three of these cupcakes are not like the others.”
“They’re almond flour? Oh. Thatisa trial.”
Regine’s laughter was hollow, and almost echoed in the forest. Which was a neat trick considering theywerein a forest and not a cave, and there was no breeze to help her voice travel.
“No. Three of these cupcakes are infused with deadly poison,” Brahnt’s mother said. “As it is certain death to come against a strong clan. The remaining cupcakes are weak—poisonless. They must be destroyed utterly.”
Charlotte made a face. “Well, poison’s going to make it a bit difficult to eat any of them.”
Her future mother-in-law smiled; a slow, satisfied, upward curve of her lips that was not at all a snarl or a silent death wish.
“If you have the courage to take the risk, and you don’t die, then you will join us,” Regine said. “Note that this is also a test of obedience. Every individual must fall into place for the good of the clan. To uphold the collective’s honor.”
Charlotte laughed. “Okay, okay. I guess this is a good time to reveal one of my more annoying personality traits. I'm not at all susceptible to social pressure.” She lifted a hand and did a princess wave. “Since I don't wanna die and everything, tootles. I'm out.”
Charlotte turned on her heels and got two steps before Milgrida intercepted. “If you have courage,” Milgrida said solemnly, “then you'll earn not only your place among us, but the approval of your future mother-in-law.”
“Yeah, but the thing is, I don't really want it all that badly.”
“Do you love my son?”
Charlotte turned. “Do I love him enough to risk certain death? Come on. What kind of question is that? Do Ilooklike a ride or die girl? I’m a ballerina, for gods’ sake.”
“It's not certain death, girl,” the eldest Orcess said with a slight grimace.
“I just don't see how this is going to work out well for me. It's like boy math and boy math always screws over the girl.”
Everyone was silent as everyone contemplated the truth of that statement. No one argued.
Charlotte sighed. “How about I call Brahnt and get his take? Can I have my phone back?”
“This is female’s circle business,” the eldest said slowly. “But under the circumstances, perhaps some lenience is called for.”
Regine shrugged, and Milgrida fished Charlotte’s phone out and handed it to her.
He answered on the first ring. “Charlotte! You’re alive! Uh, I mean, how are you?”
She glared at his face. “Well, that greeting tells me everything I need to know. Did you really think you were sending me to my demise?”
Brahnt cringed, them smoothed his expression into a stoic mask. “I trust in your strength and courage, mother of my child.”
