Page 81 of An Innocent Maid for the Duke
She’d been a convenience. His mistress. She meant nothing to him but sexual gratification.
The ache in her chest was pure foolishness.
She couldn’t even blame him. She’d offered herself. No wonder he’d no respect for her or her opinions and thoughts.
She shuddered.
For years she’d convinced herself that she could earn a living as a servant and not be led astray by some handsome gentleman, as her mother must have been.
More fool her. At least the precautions she had taken meant no children would result from her foolishness. Apart from their last encounter. There had been no time. No thinking.
Surely fate would not be so cruel as to punish her for one night’s forgetfulness. She wrapped her arms around her waist, huddling deeper into the shadows, thinking better of this foolish plan of hers. The familiar odours of the gutters filled her nostrils. Offal and stale food and the taste of coal smoke. This was where she belonged, not in a mansion that smelled of beeswax and lemon and roses in vases.
Which was why she was back where she had first met Jake. It was where impossible dreams had started to build themselves like castles amid the clouds. Those dreams now lay in tumbled ruins about her feet.
She almost wished she’d never met him. Never experienced the kind of joy he had brought to her life. Yet, she didn’t. Not really. No matter what happened to her in the future, he would remain in her heart. There would never be another man for her. Only Jake.
A sad realisation.
With a deep breath to bolster her courage, she stepped up to the door and knocked. The porter, Ben, opened it with a cheeky grin. ‘Back, are yer? Get ye in.’
When the saucy lad gave her an up-and-down look, she ignored him and kept going. Attractive in a rough sort of way, he wasn’t above a bit of flirting with the girls who worked at the V&V, but he’d never previously given her a second glance. Was he somehow aware of what she had become? Could Jake have boasted of his conquest? No. She would not believe that of him. The porter was simply being himself.
She made her way down to the Green Room where a couple of dancers she didn’t recognise were practising their twirls. No sign of Flo. Music and feet pounded above her head. She must be on stage. She ducked into her old quiet corner. She didn’t want Mr Bell seeing her, or Mrs Parker for that matter. They’d quite likely find her something to do. She set her reticule down on the arm of the sofa and took in the cobwebs and dust. It looked as if no one had been here since she left. She picked up the broom leaning in the corner and tidied up.
The rousing crescendo above signalled the end of the act. It wasn’t more than a few minutes before a torrent of girls streamed through the door with a chorus of out-of-breath giggles and the usual mutter of complaints. It felt good to be here.
Or it would, if it were not for her mission.
She poked her head out when she heard Flo’s voice, grabbed her and dragged her into the secluded corner.
‘Rose!’ Flo shrieked. She thrust her head back out into the room. ‘Hey, everyone, Rose is back.’ So much for seclusion.
Several of the girls crowded into the little space. ‘Rose, I missed you,’ Ginny said. ‘No one does hair as good as you.’
‘And it’s costing a fortune to get the mending done,’ someone moaned.
‘Where have you been?’ asked a third.
‘I found a new position,’ she said, blushing.
A girl called Lanie, who had never been all that friendly, tipped her chin. ‘I should think you did. On your back, if your clothes are any kind of clue.’
The other girls shouted her down.
‘I came to speak to Flo,’ Rose said. ‘If you ladies do not mind.’
‘Go on, the lot of you,’ Flo said. ‘You’ve had your look-see. If you don’t hurry you’ll be late for the next act. Rose will help me dress.’ She winked at Rose.
There was some good-natured shoving and elbowing as the girls squeezed out. And from one squeak, Rose surmised there had been a pinch delivered to Lanie as well.
Flo turned her back for Rose to untie the tapes. ‘How can I help you? That nob of yours treating you right?’
‘He’s been very kind.’ She got the knot undone and started pulling the tapes free of the holes down Flo’s back. She stopped at the sight of ugly bruises between her shoulder blades. ‘Flo, what happened?’
‘Oh, nothing. Tripped down the stairs.’ She waved an airy hand.
Rose didn’t believe her. ‘Flo—’
