Page 93 of Courting Scandal With The Duke
‘Stop,’ Aunt Lenore said, covering her eyes with a trembling hand. ‘You are making me dizzy.’
She opened her mouth to say something cutting andclosed it again. None of this was Aunt Lenore’s fault. It was Father’s.
She sat down on the sofa. ‘He makes me so angry.’
‘My dear girl. He is your father. He does the best he can for you.’
No. He did the best for himself. He always had. It had taken her years to admit it to herself, but now her eyes were fully open. There was no one to take care of her interests. Except herself.
And she was done letting Father walk roughshod over her life. Using her as a pawn to further his own ends.
And to have Xavier arrive right when they were talking about him. What a horrible coincidence. But at least he had heard the truth. When she brought their idyll to an end on Wednesday, it would not come as a surprise.
‘I think it is time I left London,’ she said.
Her aunt’s mouth dropped open. ‘In the middle of the Season? When you have such an opportunity to… I mean the Duke… The—’
‘As I said, dearest Aunt, I have absolutely no intention of marrying him or anyone else. What I need to do is find a place to live where I can live out my days peacefully. Far away from London, from Society.’ And from Father.
‘And how will you accomplish this?’ her aunt asked, with surprising force for one usually so vague. ‘Who will keep you in the style you have so far enjoyed? It is no easy matter for a woman to depend on herself. I know this only too well. There aremen who will take advantage of your lack of knowledge of the world. And what if you do not have sufficient income? Will you take in washing? Hire yourself out as a housemaid?’
Her aunt painted a very grim picture indeed. ‘I will sell the jewels.’
‘You know, living alone can be lonely when you are older. I think you should reconsider this aversion you have to marriage.’
‘You seem to manage very well.’
‘That does not mean I would not have preferred a husband and children. I was never asked.’ She dabbed at her eyes with her handkerchief.
Barbara put an arm around her aunt’s shoulders and gave her a quick squeeze. ‘You can come and live with me.’
‘That is very kind of you, Barbara. Indeed it is. But it is not at all what I would wish for you.’
She picked up her needlework from the workbox beside her chair. She stared at it, as if she had never seen it before.
She glanced warily over at Barbara. ‘You know, marrying the Duke would solve all of these problems. Yours, since you would be well taken care of. Your Father’s, because he would have all the influence he has ever desired as father-in-law to a duke.’
As her aunt spoke, Barbara felt the blood drain from her head. At first, she felt numb, then a cold chill coursed through her veins.
She clenched her hands in her lap. ‘I see. Everyone’swell-being depends on me doing the right thing.’ What about the right thing for her? Didn’t anyone care?
‘Even I would benefit,’ Aunt Lenore continued dreamily, clearly not hearing Barbara’s pain. ‘No one would dare look down on me, were you a duchess. Not to mention, I would have been instrumental in making the match of the decade.’
It was like being caught in some sort of web, or a net, slowly closing around her. Logical words pressing in on her.
‘It is a pipe dream, Aunt,’ she said loudly enough to shake the elderly woman awake. ‘The Duke is not about to marry a twice-widowed woman whose reputation hangs on a thread. He is seeking a woman who will be a proper wife and a proper duchess.’
Just saying it hurt. But it was true. She would be a terrible match for Xavier and hemustknow it.
Her aunt twisted her finger in one of the ringlets falling over her ears, then let it spring back into place.
‘Perhaps you can somehow convince him you will change. It is clear that he likes you.’
She had absolutely no intention of doing anything of the sort.
Never again would she put her trust in a man. And that was what a wife must do, since once she was married she was no longer a person in her own right.
And as she had learned to her cost, she could not trust any man, even if she was drowning and he had a rope close to hand.
