Page 44 of Guarded Hearts
“Wavy,” he said, his head falling to the side so our gazes locked. “I need a haircut.”
“I like it like this—the hint of something more, just out of reach.”
“Mia asked me to cool it with you.” He picked up a strand of my long hair and looped it around his finger.
“She knows about us?”Was there an us?
“She had to fire Jazz. Your accident was because she was high on stage. In the contract—automatic firing. She reminded me of other words in the contract. She doesn’t know. But she suspects.”
“Ahh.” I tugged on my slip and crossed my good leg over my injured one. I’d been employed in situations in which dancers had filed lawsuits because they’d been fired without notice or wrongfully or without cause. Those legal battles could get messy, drag other people into them, weigh down a production.
“You don’t seem mad at me anymore.” Tenderness and affection were back in his gaze, and the softness of his face warmed my heart.
I’d spent a week thinking he was indifferent, had gotten over our fling with a snap of his fingers. “The way you acted this week really hurt me.”
He winced. “I—I thought I was doing the best thing.”
“I get the Mia part—the job part. Neither of us wants to get fired. But I don’t understand why you were jealous of Ricky. And Ireallydon’t understand why you didn’t talk to me.”
He broke eye contact and laced our fingers together, his thumb grazing one of my chipped nails. “I wish I could talk to you in Russian.”
“It’s that complicated?” I couldn’t stop touching him, having been denied the contact for a week. My hand roamed over his torso and his thigh.
“Not complicated. But—” He glanced at me, and it was like I could see him processing. “When something is important to me, I can’t always find the right English words. The Russian ones come easily. I have to search for the good English ones.”
Was he saying I was important to him or that jealousy as a topic was important? “I used to like it when boyfriends got jealous. I thought it meant they loved me.”
“Jealousy equals love?”
I smiled. “Yeah. You know, all those emotionally distant men I like so much? Jealousy got a reaction out of them. When they were jealous, I mattered.”
He absorbed my words in silence, not meeting my gaze.
“Not you, though. Jealousy shut you down. I had no idea you were jealous. I thought you didn’t care at all.”
“I care. I care very much. Whatever you decided felt out of my control. I don’t think you should go back to him. But even if I say it, it means nothing if that’s what you want.”
“He’s not what I want. You should have asked me instead of assuming.”
We stared at each other, and I tried to read his expression. Would he make this misunderstanding my fault? I couldn’t remember what I’d said in the car on the way to the hospital, but I knew I wouldn’t have said I was taking Ricky back. The idea of having the debt paid off had been tempting. For sure. The thought had been fleeting. Ricky didn’t deserve my forgiveness.
“I didn’t think I would like the answer.”
The vulnerability written across his face sliced open my heart. I hadn’t put the heat on my ankle long enough, but the desire to be close to him was more than the ache in my tendons. The heating pad slid to the floor as I climbed on top of him. Straddling him, I cradled his face. “Ask me.” Beneath me, he hardened.
“What do you want?” His voice was rough, his eyes filled with a mix of desire and pain, a combination I wanted to both lap up and soothe.
“I want to enjoy the time I have left with you.” I rocked against him, and he gripped my hips. “I want you buried inside me every day.” I kissed the edge of his lips and bore down on his erection. He groaned against myear, his breath skimming my earlobe. “I want to watch you dance with Amy and know that you’re mine. Just mine.”
“Amy said she’d keep our secret.” His voice was a rasp, his fingers digging into my ass.
I went still and closed my eyes. He tugged me along his body, his lips seeking mine. I met his mouth, but when he went to deepen the kiss, I resisted.
He drew back and stared into my eyes. “What?”
“You told Amy? You might have faith that Mia won’t fire us, but I am not a believer.”
“I didn’t tell Amy. She thinks something was going on. Not anymore. But before.”
