Page 61 of The Enemy to the Living
“Drew, what are you doing here?”
Drew sets his jaw. We’re all stubborn wolves, but he’s the easiest of us to break, and it’s clear from the way his gaze wobbles when I stare at him. I want an answer. I expected this—that someone would invade my space if I kept ignoring the lot of them—but not from him. Kieran, maybe. Ophelia.
Maybe that would have been better. I’m not prepared for this. And I ache, and that deep satisfaction I felt at feelinganythingfor Asher has given way to something raw and angry.
I breathe in and fancy I can smell blood. Just my imagination. My next breath shudders out of me.
“No one’s really seen you in a couple of weeks,” he says eventually, softly. “I wanted to check you’re okay.”
“Well, I am. I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not.”
Something twists inside my chest. The deep well of anger I’ve been carrying bubbles up and tastes like acid when I swallow it back down. “It doesn’t matter, okay? I’m here. I’m alive. You can go.”
“Why don’t you want me here?” The words burst from Drew, and I stare at him in surprise. “Is it…”
“Is it what?”
“Is it because I got your parents killed?”
Fuck, he might as well have punched me in the face. That might hurt less. No, I know it would.
“No.”
“But you haven’t been around us. Any of us! And especially me—you leave every time I enter the room.”
My eyes skitter away from his. Have I? Maybe. “I don’t… I haven’t meant to.”
“What is it, then?”
I shake my head. I don’t want to do this. Ican’t. All I want to do is shower and lie in bed and wonder if I’ll be called back to fight tonight or whether Celyn and Sorrel will give me time to heal.
“Drew, I can’t—I can’t dothisright now, okay?”
“It is that, isn’t it? I should have never left.”
“For fuck’s—” A growl tears itself from my throat, and for a brief, shining second, I swear I feel my wolf in my chest. “It’s not aboutyou, Drew. My parents died. Were murdered. And Hale, he—He made mewatchand I know he did it so it would hurt you, but I’m also not a fucking idiot and I know he was an evil person, okay?”
Drew stares at me. I shake my head. I can’t stop now.
“And I killed someone too, you know? Not like you killed Tamesis, because Kieran did that for you anyway, but like I chased down this vampire and he begged me, Drew, hepleadedwith me to let him go, and I couldn’t do anything but dig my teeth in until I tasted blood.” I stare at him, breathing hard. “Do you know what that’s like?”
“No.”
“I am trying, okay? I am trying to work out what the flying fuck I’m supposed to do with my life now because I don’t have it set out for me. I don’t have a brother there waiting for me or a mate to look out for me—” I drag in a ragged breath. I can’t stop now. Ican’t. “And fuck, yeah, okay, maybe it is about you and Kieran, really. You left. You bothleft. Tell me you thought about me even once when you did.”
Drew trembles. His eyes are big, shining with tears, but I don’t feel anything when I look at him. My chest is empty again, hollowed out.
“I—We needed to leave.”
“And when Kieran left, did he abandon you?”
“No. I’m his brother.”
“And I thought you were mine!” The words crack on a sob and Drew’s breath hitches, tears spilling down his cheeks.
“I—We—”
