Page 126 of Shut Up and Score
The sun’sbrutal out here, and the turf smells of rubber and sweat. You’d think fall would take the edge off, but it doesn’t. I’ve run this drill a thousand times, but today I can’t get my legs under me. Every step feels off, as if my body’s still back in my dorm, tangled in sheets that smell like him. And my ass is sore from having him inside of me. It’s a reminder of the morning with every stride.
“Eyes up, Blackman!” Coach’s voice cuts through the fog. I force myself to focus, to catch the ball and pivot, but my chest is a mess of pounding heartbeats and last night’s echoes.
Colton’s across the line, running his own routes like the damn golden boy he is. Except he’s not giving me that usual easy grin. He keepslooking at me. Every time I risk a glance, he’s there—eyes locked, intent, as if he can see every crack in my armor.
I hate him for it. I want him for it.
“Micah!” Caleb barks when I almost miss the snap. He’s on me fast, voice low as we jog back to line up. “You okay, man? You’re playing like you’re concussed.”
“I’m fine,” I lie. My mouth’s dry. My palms sweat inside my gloves. I can stillfeelhim, as if my body doesn’t understand we left my dorm room.
Next play. Ball snaps. I sprint, cleats biting into the turf, and for a second, muscle memory takes over. But then Colton cuts across the field in a blur of white and green, and I swear the world tilts. He catches my eye mid-route, something stubborn and sure in his expression, and my chest seizes.
He’s not letting me bury this.
After the whistle, he jogs up next to me, close enough our arms brush. His voice is low, for me alone. “You gonna ignore me all day?”
I grit my teeth, eyes forward. “We’re at practice.”
“Not what I asked.” His tone is too calm, too even, as though he’s settled into this new game where I’m the only one still running scared.
I pick up the pace, trying to shake him, but he’s fast today. “Colt?—”
“You can push me away later,” he says, voice tight now, “but I’m not pretending last night didn’t happen. Or this morning.”
His words are a body check. My feet stutter before I catch myself, and I’m glad for the helmet hiding my face. Because I want to snap at him, to tell him to shut up, to keep the wall intact.
But the truth bleeds through the cracks. I don’t want him to stop. I want to see how much he means it this time. I want to know he’s not going to let me fall alone.
Coach’s whistle slices through the air, sharp enough to make me flinch. “Bring it in! That’s it for today. Hydrate and hit the showers—film session tomorrow!”
The team scatters, helmets coming off, voices rising in easy chatter. My pulse is still jacked, but not from the drills. I rip off my helmet, dragging a hand through my sweat-damp hair, trying to force my breathing to even out.
Colton’s shadow falls over me before I can escape. He doesn’t touch me—he doesn’t have to. He just leans close enough that his words are mine alone. “I’m done hiding.”
I swallow, throat dry. “What are you talking about?”
He meets my eyes, that steady gold-brown stare that used to undo me when we were sixteen and is somehow worse now. “I’m telling them. My parents. Everything.”
The ground tilts. “Colt…” I don’t even know what I’m warning him about. The fallout. My heart. Both.
He shrugs, as if it’s the simplest thing in the world. “I’m done living a lie, Micah. I’m not letting them—or you—pretend anymore.”
I try for sarcasm, for the shield I know how to use. “Oh, sure. Just like that, huh? Gonna call Mommy and Daddy tonight and say, ‘Hey, surprise, I’m banging the guy you all think tried to take advantage of me?’”
His jaw tightens, but he doesn’t look away. “If that’s what it takes for you to believe me, yeah. I’ll tell them everything.” He pauses, then adds, “They know you’d never do that, Micah…they knew it back then, too. It’s why they didn’t stop me from coming clean to the college. They don’t know the whole story, but the school does…that’s why they settled that court case and welcomed you back.”
My chest squeezes so hard it’s almost hard to breathe. I want to believe him. I want it so bad it’s dangerous. But walls are all I’ve had to protect me, and I can feel every brick wobbling under his weight.
And then the words actually register.
They knew you’d never do that, Micah…that’s why they settled that court case and welcomed you back.
I blink at him, the locker room blurring for a second. My brain stutters, tripping over the meaning.
He…told the truth? Before I even came back? Before I could step onto this campus with a plan—no, a mission—to make him hurt the way I did?
The floor shifts under me, and for a second, I swear I might fall. Because if he’s the reason I’m evenhere—if he made it possible for me to return—then the revenge I’ve been clutching and holding onto like a life raft is just…smoke and lies.
