Page 80 of Shut Up and Score
“You wanna fix it?” he asks.
I nod slowly.
Then I pause. “Wait. Back up.”
He raises a brow. “Yeah?”
“You knew?” My voice comes out low, rough around the edges. “YouknewI was?—”
“Gay?” he offers. “Bi? Something other than a painfully repressed hetero? Yeah, man. I’ve known.”
My stomach knots. “Since when?”
Caleb shrugs as if it’s obvious. “Since you started doing that thing where you pretend not to look at Micah when he walks into a room. And then stare at your phone like it might tell you how to be straight.”
I let out a breath that’s more of a laugh. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because I figured you’d tell me when you were ready. Or never. Either way, it’s your deal.”
I nod, jaw tight. It’s weird—being seen. Not judged, not pitied. Just…seen.
Caleb watches me a beat longer, then tosses the empty sports drink bottle toward the trash can. Misses, obviously. Doesn’t even flinch about it.
“You’re not alone, you know,” he says casually. “Even if you feel like you deserve to be.”
I just nod, not sure what to say to him. He was on the team back when everything happened between us, but he’s not treating me as if I’m a giant ass. It makes something loosen in my chest, a sort of tension bleed away. Maybe I can make this thing with Micah work.
“Cool,” he says, slapping his hands on his thighs as he stands. “Now that we’ve had our emotionally vulnerableDisney Channelmoment, I’m gonna go shower and not think about your crush on our starting forward.”
I blink. “He’s technically not?—”
“Oh myGod, Colton,” he groans, throwing his hands in the air. “Let me pretend I don’t know his stats. I’m trying to be a chill ally here.”
That actually gets a real laugh out of me.
Caleb smirks, already walking backward toward the dorms. “Text me if you do anything stupid. Or, you know…brave.”
I nod again. “Thanks.”
But as he disappears, the weight settles back on my chest. Because what he doesn’t know—what nobody knows—is that I’ve already been talking to Micah.
That I’ve already crossed a line I can’t uncross.
And I don’t know ifhe’llever forgive me for it.
I go through the motions the rest of the day. Still no reply. Dropping down on my bed, I flop onto my back and stare at my ceiling. Caleb is on his bed, headphones in, history book open, and notes scattered everywhere, telling me he’s in the zone.
I unlock my phone and go to the app. Typing out a quick message before I can change my mind.
Me: Ghosting me now? I see how it is. Maybe you’re the one that’s afraid of something real.
I know it sounds desperate and a little unhinged the second I hit send. But I can’t stop myself. He sees it right away, the three little dots dancing on my screen as he types out a response. I wait, heart in my throat, then nothing. No reply. No answer. And I know he saw it.
I wait a few more minutes, still nothing.
I’m half tempted to delete the app. It would probably be the smart thing to do. Micah isn’t going to be happy to know he’s been messaging me.
I toss the phone onto my chest and stare at the ceiling, looking for the answers in the uneven paint.
