Page 34 of Sheltering Lawson
She pushed at my chest, and I broke the kiss. “Ethan, I can’t possibly forget what you do to me, but that doesn’t help at all. My life is so complicated, and I just need to go. Stop pushing me.”
I had her pinned against the truck, and although she’d broken the kiss, I couldn’t quite let her go. I wanted to push, hard, but those eyes of hers got to me. My gut told me she was in trouble and didn’t know how to get herself out. I wanted her to have options, and I desperately didn’t want her to run.
“You can trust me, Lawson.”
Her expression changing, she reached out and cupped my jaw, running her thumb along my bottom lip. Her eyes were dark and shadowed, but I could see the hunger in them. “I know that, Ethan,” she said, her voice tender. She caressed my mouth again. “It’s not that. It doesn’t have anything to do with how I feel about you and strangely, it has everything to do with it.”
I was sure that was clear to her, but to me, I was baffled. How could it not have to do with me and have to do with me? I was silent for a moment, mostly because I was processing her words. When the silence stretched to the point of being strained, I said, “I know I’m treading on your privacy. Sticking my nose into your problems.”
Her jaw tightened, her shoulders hunched up. Whatever the problem was. She wasn’t faking the worry or the fear, just masking it. I knew about fear. I’d seen it not only in the faces of the men around me, but in non-combatant’s faces, mothers and children in fear for their lives. Lawson had that look. Her tone exasperated, she said, “I didn’t say I had any problems, except for the moment, you.”
I gave her an inscrutable look, then pushed off her. “I want to help you.”
Her voice softened. “There’s no need. I’m touched by your offer; I really am. I’m sorry if you thought I’m in some sort of serious trouble—”
My tone quiet, just loud enough for her ears, I said, “Areyou in trouble, Tinkerbell?”
She didn’t so much as blink, but she didn’t look at me, either. Nor did she say anything for a moment, then she said, “No.”
But I sensed that terrible aloneness in her, a kind of self-imposed isolation. And without responding, I closed my eyes and pulled her against me. She slid her arms around my waist, and I caught her up in a fierce hold, my face against hers. I didn’t want to embarrass her, but I also wanted to make sure that she wasn’t denying it to spare me something. “I saw your back. Who did that to you?” I asked gently.
She took a breath and murmured. “No one. It was a car accident. Really, Ethan. I’m just moving through here. This between us was truly unexpected. I haven’t let anyone get this close in a long time…if ever. Stop worrying about me.”
Too late. It wasfartoo late for that. “I’m interested in you, regardless. My wanting to know you better isn’t going to change anything else. I’m not saying all this to…take advantage of you.” The more time I spent with her, the more I wanted her. Preferably without the haunted look in her eyes. I wasn’t at all convinced that those scars were caused by a car accident. It looked more like the end of a belt as if she’d been beaten with the buckle. I got angry all over again.
She raised her head, giving me a soft kiss on the lips. “I should go in. It’s getting late, and we both have to be up uber early in the morning. I’ve got a ton of things to do for Aubree’s bash.” She went to pull away but I couldn’t let her go.
“Promise me,” I said, “If you need help, I hope I’ll be the first person you’d come to.”
She held my gaze for a fraction of a second longer, then dipped her chin in a quick, silent agreement, before letting me go.
I accepted that for now. It was all I could do until she either felt safe enough to confide in me, or I found out some other information that I could press with. I wasn’t giving up on Lawson whether she liked it or not.
I walked her to the door and gave her another soft kiss. Before she went inside, I said, “Sweet dreams. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Before I could leave, she launched herself at me and kissed me hard. As the kiss slowly deepened, the battle raged between need and common sense. It was late, we were both tired, there was another long day ahead of us with little sleep to go on—at least on my part—and who knew what other surprises lay in store. She hadn’t told me the whole story—I’d bet on it.
“Ethan, I’m so falling for you. Why did you have to be so sweet, too?”
“Too?”
She smiled up into my eyes. “Gorgeous, smart, funny and wonderful.”
I cleared my throat, and if she wasn’t so hard against my chest, it would have puffed up to proportions that would make a peacock jealous.
“Right back at you, babe,” I said, bumping her hips and making her eyes widen.
“Goodbye and thank you, Ethan…for caring.”
There was something unsettling in her face that made me want to hold her down and get her to tell me what she was thinking. But she turned away and closed the door.
I walked to my truck, the last moments weighing in my gut like bricks. I started up the engine and headed for home.
Lawson was hiding a boatload of hurt, abuse. She was running from her past, her life, and now…her present. When I was almost halfway home, I realized what it was that was nagging at me. She was going to bolt. That’s why she’d kissed me like that and said “goodbye” instead of good night.
I whipped the truck around and was heading back to Outlaws, accelerating, hoping to God I wasn’t too late.
My cell rang, and I answered it. “Ethan, it’s Mike. I checked everything, even driver’s licenses. I can’t find a thing. It’s as if she never even existed. Is she running from the law? A fugitive?”
