Page 48 of Sheltering Lawson
“He could hurt you, and I would never forgive myself if something happened to you.”
“That’s the funny thing about being safe and getting your head screwed on tight. I forgot I had friends. Strong and powerful friends in Atlanta. They will help me. Then, I will be back. Just take care of what you need to for your own happiness, Ethan. I want that so much.”
I hauled in another deep, uneven breath, then leaned back and looked in her eyes, my voice raw with emotion. “When will you go?”
“After Aubree’s bash next weekend. She invited me to the graduation, and I want to go with you.”
I nodded. “That soon?” I didn’t want her to go, but when the time came I had expected I would go with her, to be there if she needed me. A rock to bolster her and if my fist happened to smash into one or both men’s faces, well, that was too damn bad. I knew she wasn’t reacting to pride, but to her deep-seated need to do this, to stand up to them and get herself free. I just was disgruntled because I wanted her to need me, but that was just my inner caveman rearing its ugly head.
“The sooner I go, the sooner I can come back.” She studied my face. “You’re still a bit pissed?”
“Yeah, I want you to need me. Does that sound as pathetic as I think it does?”
She smiled and shook her head.
“Ha, it’s just my inner caveman needing to protect his woman.” I back walked her to the bed. “I’d beat my chest, but I don’t want to let go of you.”
She giggled. “I suspect it’s more that code of ethics that goes with a knight in shining armor. Protect thy lady fair against yonder fire breathing dragon. Where the hell is my shield, lance and charger?” she said with a deep, mimic of my voice, exasperation tinging the words.
I chuckled. “You might have me there.”
“What do you want to do now?” she asked.
“Oh, I don’t know.” I pushed her down onto the bed and loosened her towel. “Didn’t you say you bought a whole new stash of condoms?”
“That again? See you are a sex bomb, one-track-mind, Mister Explosion.”
With her warm and soft beneath me, I locked my jaw and made myself take a deep, slow breath, the heat from her body making my blood thicken. Ah, but it felt good to hold her—so damned good. “Yeah, and don’t you forget it.” Imperceptibly I tightened my hold, committing every single sensation to memory. Sensations to call up and remember after she was gone.
Releasing a long sigh, she flattened her hand against my back, running up and down my spine. And just as imperceptibly she tightened her hold on me. “This is so nice,” she whispered unevenly. “It feels so good to have someone to hold on to for just a little while.”
Her honesty made my heart roll over and my chest clog up. Feeling as if I might turn inside out at any minute, I closed my eyes and kissed her parted lips. My throat so tight, I didn’t even try to speak. I had never expected this to happen, this chance at love.
Aware of every curve and hollow of her body, I continued to hold her, wishing this moment could last forever.
I shifted when she moved. “I’ll be right back.” She walked away from me, and I heard bags rustling, then she was back holding them up. The golden light making her skin glow. “Come here,” I said, as she set the condoms on the night stand.
“Wait, one more thing.” She left again then came back with candles. She set them on the nightstand and lit them, then bent over and turned off the lamp, leaving nothing but the candles’ soft light.
She moved restlessly against me and we fit together just as nature and God intended. I was lost in the heat of her body, infusing me with both warmth and madness. A conflagration of flames and smoldering embers. Somewhere in the depths of my shredded soul, like a master crafter, she found the pieces of tenderness, vulnerability that I had lost and knitted them together with a loom of stars. Regardless of what she said, I would still be her knight when she needed me. I would be anything she needed. I would let her go, because she’d asked me, because I respected her…because, ah God, because I loved her with everything I had. This delicate princess, damsel in distress had found her inner Rambo, and I was going to let her lay waste to the men who had wronged her. Did I hate it? Fuck yeah, but I loved her. She would come back to me, and we’d have this for the rest of our lives.
She took and I gave. I took and she gave. Like the push and pull of the ocean and the rhythm of life. She consumed me as I filled her body, my yang to her yin and we fit like an intricate puzzle that had been separated by distance and time, only to be reunited at this perfect spun gold moment. Born out of chaos in a crazy universe we were at the center, balancing in perfect harmony. My white to her black, my south to her north, my fire to her water, my sun to her moon, and my hard to her soft. Harmony sang through us. I knew her and she knew me. That was all that mattered. With a yielding, with surrender, I gave myself up to the explosion of life as we joined as one.
Later, as the candles sputtered to darkness and she lay cradled in my arms sleeping. I realized she had been very right to say that I made her see because right now my eyes were wide open when they had been closed. She was acting even though I knew she was scared. For me. I was also scared and that was damn hard for a Marine who had seen horrors on the battlefield, ran toward a fight instead of away. I could serve my country and never flinch once. So why was I being passive about the most important decision of my life?
When the morning dawned bright and sunny, the light of dawn past. I grabbed my watch and blinked at the time. I was supposed to meet my daddy at the church. He was having new pews delivered today. My clever momma got her way and to save money, we were going to install them ourselves.
I looked over at Haley. She was sleeping, her breathing deep and even. I rose, bracing my weight on my elbow and watched her sleep for a few minutes, marveling that this woman had come into my life. Her golden blonde hair was spread across her pillow, the strands thick and flaxen in the bright light coming through the blinds.
I gathered a lock and let it flow through my fingers, thinking ahead to when we were together after everything was resolved. We’d find a place of our own or build something we both designed. Wherever it was, I was thankful she would be with me.
I went to get out of bed, but her fingers snaked around my biceps, and she pulled me back down, snuggling into my throat.
“I’ve got to get going. Remember? I have to help my daddy today.”
“Nope. Mandatory snuggle.”
I laughed softly and gave in. I could call if I was going to be late. “You are bossy in the morning.”
