Page 50 of Sheltering Lawson
I settled in the easy chair and leaned forward.
“I wanted to talk to you about your future,” his voice was firm and tight like he was expecting an argument. “I think that you have honest, decent jobs and your investment in Chase’s business is sound, but I think we both know where your future lies. Where your path has always led.”
I sighed and looked down at my hands. When I looked up he was holding out a brochure. “This is the information for the seminary. There is still time to enter the fall class,” he said solemnly. “Isn’t this your calling?”
I took the pamphlet and rose without saying a word, the reluctance on me again. I opened the door and stepped out, stood on the porch and remembered how Haley had told me about what had happened to her, the hardship she’d had to endure. I’d been a warrior—was still a warrior, and I was running from this battle. No more. My momma’s words were poignant and dead on. She was a genius.Trust yourself.
I turned around and walked back inside. My daddy was startled as he’d been about to lock the door. I reached out, holding the brochure. “I’m not going to the seminary, Daddy. My calling is to help people in a different way. I know you don’t like violence, but being a deputy sheriff isn’t about violence. It’s about peace and keeping the parish safe. That’s what I trained for and fought for with every fiber of my being. It’s what I want to do. I hope you can understand that.”
His shoulders slumped. “I’m disappointed, Ethan.”
“There are the words that I’ve dreaded. All our arguments have all come down to this. I can’t be what you want me to be. I can only be what my heart tells me to be. I love you, Daddy and respect what you do. Just please, give me the same consideration.”
He stood there for a moment wrestling with his own expectations for me. The emotions crossing his face. I hadn’t wanted to disappoint him, but there was no other answer for me. It was past time for me to make this decision. He took a breath and shocked the hell out of me. I totally expected an argument.
“That is a man’s sound reasoning, son.” He set his hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “I learned a valuable lesson when you left after our argument,” he said, his voice strained and thick. “I was sick with worry, remorseful for being so rigid, and terrified you would never forgive me.”
“Daddy,” I said. “I can forgive you. I do. I understand how much this means to you.”
He gave me a slight smile, his eyes going moist and he squeezed me harder. “I thought I lost you then and I’ve thanked God every day that you came back here for me to get a second chance at understanding my son. I don’t want to lose you.” He closed his eyes, his jaw bunching. “I have done plenty of my own soul-searching and discovered that I want you to be happy and be the best man you can be. Of course you have to follow your own path. I just thought you were floundering and didn’t want to come to me for advice. Confusion is one thing, but knowing your own heart is everything. I can’t say that I’m happy about your choice, but I can say that I respect you, young man. I’m proud of your accomplishments, and I’ll pray every day for God to keep you safe.” My throat thick, I stepped forward and we embraced. “I love you, Ethan. Don’t ever forget that, my boy.” His arms tightened for a moment.
We parted, and I left. My path was clear and thanks to Haley, I had the courage to finally face my daddy’s disappointment and push through to the other side. He really had made an effort to understand me, and I had a chance to tell him that I had forgiven him for his harsh words and inflexible thinking. We were past all that, and I was very grateful.
In the morning, missing Haley, I drove over to the Sheriff’s Department. At the desk I asked to see Mike and was ushered to his office.
“What can I do for you, Ethan?” he asked, leaning back in his chair, the sound of the phone ringing in the background.
“First, I want to make you aware about the situation with Lawson.” I told him enough to make him frown and his eyes to heat.
“That poor girl. You have any trouble with her, you call me,” he said, leaning forward, his eyes direct. “We’ll run these bastards out of town with my boot up their asses.”
I nodded. “Thank you, Mike. The other reason I’m here is I want to sign up to become a deputy sheriff. What do I need to do?”
Mike smiled broadly. “About damn time. It’s going to be a time investment. Gotta send you over to the academy which is a three-month course. Once you complete that, you’ll come back here. We’ll have a little ceremony and you’ll get to go out on patrol. I won’t lie to you. I’ve had my eye on you ever since you got out of the Marines. Knew right then and there you’d make a fine sheriff one day. I’m looking to retire in the next few years, and I think you’ll fill my shoes nicely.”
I just stared at him, then I smiled broadly, clapping him on the back. “Let’s get this started.”
Chapter 17
HALEY
I missed having Ethan in bed with me when I woke up the next morning. I was apprehensive that he may be still angry about me going back to Atlanta without him and needed some distance. Brax related to me that the pew installation had gone well, he was having dinner with his parents and would be home late. He would see me tomorrow.
I made the call to the Texas ranch and declined the job. That felt so real, so freeing.
When he wasn’t at the bar when I went to work, I had to wonder what was going on. I had seen him in here every day, and it was jarring to see someone else in his place. I realized this was my first test, and I wasn’t going to back down. I couldn’t. Brad had terrorized me, and I didn’t want Ethan to handle it for me. My mind hadn’t changed and if he was going to get angry about it, that was his reaction, and I would deal with it.
But when he didn’t show up the next day either, I went to speak to Brax and found him in the kitchen rolling out the biscuit dough. “Do you know where Ethan is?”
“He said he had some things to handle and gave me the head’s up that he was quitting. He hasn’t talked to you?” Brax dipped a glass into some flour and started pressing out round cutouts, setting them on a baking sheet.
Hugging myself to keep everything in, I clenched my jaw, my lips feeling stiff and unresponsive. It took me a moment before I could pull it off. Then I said, sounding almost normal, “He quit?”
“Yeah, I’m surprised I was able to keep him this long, but I suspect that has more to do with you. He did tell me he’d be by to give me the details and gave me a couple weeks’ notice.” The oven timer sounded and he walked over to the oven, pulled out the sheet with golden brown biscuits and replaced it with the fresh ones. He reset the timer. “I’m sorry, Lawson. That’s all I know.”
That bit of news hit me hard, and it was all I could do to keep breathing. Avoiding Brax’s gaze, I picked up one of the biscuits in the basket and toyed with the flaky dough. Could he have gone to Atlanta? He had my real name. It wouldn’t take much to find Brad. My gut clenched with anxiety. Ethan wouldn’t do that to me. He wouldn’t go behind my back. So, where was he?
I made an excuse that I had to get back to work and left. I hadn’t thought it possible, but preparing to leave was getting harder and harder. Too hard. I almost wished I was leaving tomorrow. Each day worse than the one before.
