Page 9 of Sheltering Lawson
I’ll find you and when I do, you’ll be sorry. Sorry for a long, long time.
The past and present merged in my mind like a terrible tangle. I wrapped my arms around myself, rocking a little on the back seat for comfort. I bit my lip to stem the tears that gathered in my eyes and formed into a solid lump in my throat.
I buried my face in the pillow, fought the urge to sink down and sob. The tears choked me. The weakness sapped the stability from me and made me curl into myself. The memories washing over me in a relentless wave.
No longer able to fight it, I turned and covered my mouth, pressed my face deeper into the pillow. “Oh, God,” I whimpered as the despair cracked through my armor and the tears squeezed past the tightly closed barriers of my eyelids.
My hand fisted against my mouth as I sobbed silently for a moment, releasing a small measure of the inner tension, then swallowed it back, gagging on the need to cry even as I ruthlessly denied myself the privilege. I swiped furiously at the tears with the heels of my hands.
I couldn’t do this, allow myself to cry. I was stronger than this. My path was clear. Using anger to burn away the other emotions, I closed my eyes and shut out everything. Emotions, friendships, compassion and God help me, weakness.
But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t seem to shut out Ethan Fairchild.
Chapter 4
ETHAN
After running into Lawson in Outlaws where it was clear as day she was using it as a bathroom, it hit me hard she was living out of her car.
It broke my heart in many ways. She was obviously alone. There was no doubt she was scared. She hadn’t really been crying over that plate incident. But what could I say to her? I didn’t want to spook her.
While she was preoccupied with some patrons, I left the bar and went into the kitchen. Brax was in his office looking like he was ready to kill someone. Probably not the best time to talk to him, but I felt an urgency that wouldn’t wait.
I went in and closed the door. He looked up at me, his features twisted, his hair was sticking up every which way.
“Fuck me, I should hire myself an accountant.”
“You say that and then you never do.”
“Too true.” He eyed me, then sat back. “What’s on your mind. Don’t tell me you’re quitting because I’ll kick your ass and chain you to the bar.”
I chuckled and sat down. “You have such a way with your employees, Outlaw.”
“Yeah, well if you aren’t used to it by now—fuck you.”
I laughed again. I leaned forward used to addressing troops, used to leading men. Ever since I got back to Suttontowne after my discharge from the Marines, I was missing that. Not that Brax was easily led, but I knew how to push his buttons. He might act like an ogre, but he had a damn fine heart of gold. It’s why I still worked more with him than for him. I didn’t have to guess that he would bend over backwards for me. I knew he would.
“This is about that sweet, lil’ thang that’s sidling around with my food. Isn’t it?”
“I was wondering if you’re using that small apartment out back for anything other than storage.”
He sat up straighter. “Why? What’s going on with her?”
“She’s living out of her car, Brax. She’s also hoarding her food like she’s not sure when she’s going to get another meal. I just thought it wouldn’t take a lot of effort to spruce it up.”
“The bathroom is a freaking mess. I really haven’t done anything with it since I opened this place. It’ll need all new fixtures.”
“I could install them, and I would do all the work for free. After she is gone, you’d have a nice little place you could offer to employees on a temporary basis.”
“She’s living out of her car. Man, I remember what it was like to be poor.” He looked away, then said, his voice husky, “I’ll spring for the renovations, including all new fixtures if you’ll do the work.”
“Done.” I rose.
“What are you doing, Ethan?”
“I’m trying to make the world a little safer. It had been my mission for a long time and I can’t seem to shake it.”
“She asked me to pay her in cash. She had a story about not wanting to open an account at the bank because she wasn’t staying around here long enough to really need a bank account. But, I can see for myself that she’s stressed and much too thin. That girl is in trouble, and she’s been running for some time.”
